


Philia

by Kou (Rietto)



Series: Yuri on Ice study [5]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Detroit days, Gen, M/M, Phichit the Yuuri whisperer, in which most of everyone are friends since years before canon, mostly road to friendship and romance with Yuuri through Phichit's eyes, not with Phichit, past present comparison, that is romance between Yuuri and Victor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-09-12 09:41:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 67,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9066325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rietto/pseuds/Kou
Summary: Phichit enjoys being with Yuuri a lot.It's hard to tell if Yuuri shares the sentiment though.At least, at first.Also, Victor Nikiforov was a pain in Phichit's head, seriously.





	1. Glasses

Phichit was fresh out of middle school when he moved to America to train under Celestino Cialdini.

Needless to say, his English was mediocre at best.

Phichit had always been addicted to social media, and his English written scores were above average thanks to it. He could read roman letters as easily as he read Thai letters. Still, listening and speaking was different. His pronunciation was terrible and he knew it.

Everyone promised that he had good affinity with language, that he’d get used to it quickly, but still it’s a nightmare for a social butterfly to be thrown to the world where he’s pretty much deaf and mute.

When he arrived at the airport, under his name in Thai letters in the sign Celestino was holding was what he assumed was Chinese characters.

“Celestino…”

He said it the same time as a boy (man?) seemingly a bit older than him, and it might be the cool winter air but when they locked eyes to each other Phichit got the almost irresistible urge to drink hot chocolate.

* * *

Ciao Ciao called him ‘Yuuri’, the syllables weird in his tongue and sounded wrong in Phichit’s ears.

He greeted Yuuri with ‘ _konnichiwa’_. Yuuri bowed, and muttered the greeting back to the Italian coach before glancing at Phichit and said ‘hello’.

Not Chinese, Phichit realized. Japanese. Yuuri Katsuki, eighteen years old. He would go to the university affiliated with the university he got into in Japan (which Phichit felt guilty to admit, the name escaped him) after a semester of assimilation classes.

Same as Phichit.

But Yuuri wouldn’t be entering his highschool, he thought dejectedly.

In fact, Yuuri wouldn’t be staying with him at all. Yuuri would stay in his uni dorm while Phichit with Ciao Ciao.

The ride of the car was terrible. Ciao Ciao spoke so quickly that Phichit had a hard time following the conversation. Yuuri just looked out the window and seemingly had given up trying, eyes narrowed as if in annoyance until lines clearly visible between his eyebrows. He wore his earphone under his beanie, and his hands clutching his phone.

The screen flashed and the song changed into ‘Sakura Rain’.

* * *

Phichit thought it’d be the last he’d seen Yuuri, but he should had known better.

Yuuri would also train under Ciao Ciao. Phichit forgot about that small obvious detail. They saw each other a lot in the skating club. Yuuri standing on the side and watching with a frown as he wait for his turn became normal occurrence for Phichit.

Phichit coming early and seeing Yuuri skating in lazy figure of eight, alternating feet every once in a while too.

Phichit didn’t know what came over him.

One day Yuuri just seemed so beautiful in his eyes. His skin was pale, but not like the Americans. There’s a hint of tan, and the red on the tip of his ears and cheeks and bridge of his nose complimenting it perfectly. He’s taller and more muscular, but not at all intimidating.

Maybe it’s because he saw quite a lot of Japanese back in Thailand commercial district, Yuuri seemed _nice_. Also, it might be because he seemed relaxed and not angry for once.

He was dancing familiar seeming program, but Phichit couldn’t quite place it just yet. Without music, but for some reason Phichit felt like he could hear the song nevertheless. He could imagine a fairy dancing in a field of blue roses, dreamy and impossible. The sound of blade scratching ice in his steps sounded like wind caressing the flowers.

“ _Kirei_!”

He exclaimed with enthusiastic clap when Yuuri finished, truthful because Yuuri’s form was really the most beautiful in the club. Ciao Ciao said it’s because Yuuri knew ballet too. Yuuri nearly tripped from surprise, he didn’t seem like he’d noticed Phichit. Color drained from his face, the red disappeared into paper white. His eyes darted to everywhere but to Phichit’s general direction.

“… ありがー… うん… 違う。。。ขอ… ขอขอบคุณ…?”

Yuuri smiled sheepishly, eyes on the ice and fingers fiddled together.

The sound of familiar sounding words beckoned Phichit. He took off his ice guard and reached Yuuri’s side in two stroke of his feet.

“One more time?”

He prompted. Heartbeat loud in his ears. Yuuri slid backwards, back bent back as if the 150 cm tall (inches were for Americans, and Phichit had hard time remembering that) Thai boy scared him even though he’s at least 20 cm taller and bulkier.

Finally, he bumped into the fence, and Phichit repeated his request.

“One more time?”

Yuuri’s warm chocolate eyes finally met Phichit’s obsidian.

_“Khob khun…?”_

It ended up as question again, the word was changed into the shorter version, and the pronunciation was terrible. Phichit barely recognized it. And yet, his body felt warm like he’d just drank the tastiest hot chocolate ever made.

* * *

That might be the start.

Yuuri was nice. Mostly kept to himself, but nice. Phichit expected some sort of demand for respect since he’s younger, but Yuuri never mentioned that at all except when Phichit tried calling him with ‘- _senpai’_ and Yuuri had jumped and practically yelled ‘no no no no no no no’ with hands flailed wildly.

Phichit’s cool image of him crumbled, but Phichit decided he liked the easily flustered cute Yuuri better.

He’s painfully shy and Phichit suspected he’s an introvert with social anxiety, which would explain why he almost seemed like he’s glaring at his opponent whenever he’s having conversation, silently begging them to leave him and his discomfort alone.

Still, even an introvert would need moments with other people. Humans are social creatures. Yuuri’s anxiety couldn’t be that bad if he could decide to move to Detroit alone. Besides, Phichit wouldn’t meet Yuuri much beside for club activity. As long as Phichit didn’t push (or pull) him too hard, Yuuri wouldn’t mind, he reasoned with himself.

Being a social media addict, Phichit searched Yuuri Katsuki and the numerous variety of his name in English, Japanese, and Thai in all sites he knew.

Yuuri wasn’t very active in social media, but Phichit found an account containing many of his pictures.

He showed Yuuri some of the pictures next time they met. He seemed mortified at some, but most of the pictures were tame. Chubby baby and toddler wearing sweater with big Y stitched on the front, smaller him in tights doing pirouette in what seemed to be ballet studio, him in black kimono (hakama, Yuuri would correct him later, but Japanese clothing was only kimono in Phichit’s vocabulary then) with a big bulky man and beautiful girl in white…

Almost in all casual pictures, that is, pictures that’s taken when he’s not training or attending formal events, he’s wearing glasses.

“Eyes bad?”

Yuuri nodded.

Phichit then found out that what Yuuri always silently begged his opponent during conversation was for them to solidify, and to at least speak slower.

He’s a comrade on the second one.

“No glasses?”

“イメチェ-… Ah, um, I’m trying contact.”

Yuuri rarely used Japanese, unless to reply to someone using Japanese to speak to him. Phichit still trying to figure out what demon possessed him few days before, when he replied to Phichit using Thai. He tilted his head slightly, questioning himself about what Yuuri was trying to say at first before switching to English.

“Not working?”

“Yeah. Not enough. I have astigmatism.”

Phichit remembered hearing that it’s more difficult for people with astigmatism to use contacts, needing special lenses which was generally more expensive. Specially if said people have myopia on top of that. Yuuri seemed like he’d regretted changing into contacts. When asked where his old glasses were, he said about being blurrier with them now.

“Shop together?”

 Phichit offered. Yuuri nodded after moments of contemplation.

* * *

Yuuri’s new glasses made his eyes seemed bigger and nicer. He seemed friendlier. The chocolate seemed like sparkling, like it’s been added extra sugar. The warmth more obvious, and his smile seemed lighter. He must felt so liberated if he could even hum cheery song in happiness.

He seemed so cute, Phichit couldn’t help taking picture.  

Yuuri noticed. Of course he did. Yuuri jumped him and tried to take away Phichit’s phone. Miraculously, he failed to do so, couldn’t quite reach it since Phichit kept him away with one hand and extended the other further away from Yuuri.

“Delete that!”

“Nope~ I’m posting this!”

Hashtag everything is better with glasses.

It was the first picture of Yuuri in Instagram, and it wouldn’t be until approximately five years later that Phichit realized the innuendo he’d made.

To think he was once pure.

* * *

* * *

 

It was the day of GPF 2016 Men Single Free Skate in Barcelona, and photos of Yuuri with slicked back hair and glasses had gone viral. Usually, Yuuri would seem like he’s constipated in pics where he’s wearing glasses, his anxiety made it hard for him to smile, so not many would circulate it.

Still, the recent photos of him seemingly more confident and carefree made his beautiful features clearer to the eyes of netizen. It didn’t help that _the_ Victor Nikiforov himself linked many of those pictures through his twitter. Phichit’s old photo of him recirculated with various comments like WHY HAVEN’T I SEEN IT BEFORE and PROTECT THIS SINNAMON ROLL, not many realizing it was at least 5 years old from the time when Instagram was not as popular.

Yuuri must share to the world the key to his youthfulness. It’s simply not fair that in his mid-twenties he could still be mistaken as highschool boy. Must be something in his family’s hotspring. No wonder Victor didn’t hesitate.

“殺してほしい...”

He mumbled as he read through the comments. As admitted by most of his fans, most of the netizens needed some sort of purification. Not even the reporters’ effort in censoring their words worked as good example.

“You’re welcome,” Phichit responded cheekily with a pat to the Japanese’s back. Yuuri turned to him and glared.

“ピチットくん酷い! I told you to erase that!”

“Victor gave me a thumb up. What’s the problem?”

“YOU DIDN’T MEAN WHAT HE MEANT AND YOU KNOW IT.”

His face was so red and his chocolate eyes sparkled from the tears starting to pool on his lids. Phichit managed to resist taking another picture of him.

“Ask him to get you sport glasses! Haven’t you heard? Everyone likes nerdy look. You should skate while wearing glasses. We should test that theory now. Here, drink some champagne, just for confidence boost! Go dance with Yuri or whoever, but this time, keep your glasses on.”

Yuuri glared at him, but took the flute from Phichit nevertheless. He downed it in a big gulp.

“No poledancing.”

“Promise.”

Phichit crossed his fingers behind his back.


	2. Indulgence

Since the time they went to get Yuuri’s new glasses, they’d meet up quite often after practice. One shopping trip turned to two, then when they realized it, it’s almost weekly.

They mostly just did their homework together, just enjoying each other’s company while their difference in educational level means that there’s no way they could work together on them. Yuuri seemed to have no problem doing his homework while listening to Phichit rant about anything, always listening attentively with a smile and responding once in a while, and at the end of the day he’d always admonish Phichit for not finishing his homework yet.

“Yuuri…! Don’t make me call you ‘mommy’!”

Yuuri stopped commenting after that.

Which was nice, because even though Ciao Ciao told Yuuri to take care of Phichit because after all Phichit was still underage, he didn’t really want to have to see Yuuri as a babysitter. 

Phichit and Yuuri preferred to eat in the foodcourt, since they could sit together on the same table while ordering their respective favorite food. Yuuri would mostly get rice dish with meat, while Phichit always tried to get the spiciest food available.

They agreed on one thing. Nothing beats the taste of home.

Phichit moaned about his low score in listening and speaking from the last TOEFL test, and begged Yuuri to teach him. Yuuri had blanched, saying he’s the wrong person to ask since he’s also non-native. But Phichit pointed that Yuuri’s pronunciation was better, and he seemed fine following quick paced talk nowadays.

“The connection is better here…” was his reasoning.

Phichit raised an eyebrow, confused.

“I watch a lot of videos in English. Sometimes, in other languages too, with subtitles. It helps. My hometown is rural, so the internet connection is worse and I can’t watch as much.”

He also muttered something about having to fight old grandpas for the TV remote, which made little sense to Phichit at the time.

“What do you watch, usually?”

Yuuri reached out to his laptop and closed the monitor before answering with one word.

“Stuffs.”

He’s hiding something, but it’s just mid spring and he didn’t want to push Yuuri too much just yet. In Phichit’s mind, there’s a gauge which showed the approximation of his closeness with Yuuri, and it’s still stuck in ‘acquaintance’ level.

Phichit absentmindedly wondered if porn was one of the ‘stuffs’ he watched. After all, despite looking barely older than Phichit beside from their height difference, Yuuri was a healthy man (boy?) aged nineteen. He could already see R-18 materials with good conscience.

Yuuri seemed like the type who wouldn’t break the law, even if general populace tend to not care about them. Phichit pressed the ‘yes, I’m at least 18’ button everytime since he was ten, and he rarely felt anything but excitement.

Phichit wondered how he looked then, because Yuuri seemed guilt stricken.

“… mostly, past competitions. For reference. Movies, sometimes. Also some musicals.”

He let out reluctantly in the end.

Phichit felt warm again.

“Show me!”

* * *

The musicals and movies Yuuri showed him in his laptop were good, but hard to follow. The actors spoke too quickly for Phichit to follow, and the subtitles was in Japanese.

Yuuri seemed down when Phichit complained about that.

Phichit knew that Yuuri was sensitive, but he still hadn’t realized how easy for Yuuri to feel guilty of something that’s not his fault. He tried to convince Yuuri, but still he worried if he failed to do so even after they parted ways.

He decided to apologize again when next time they met.

But then, Yuuri shoved a pile of CDs to Phichit, and he could only blink in surprise.

“I found these in the DVD store. Sorry, most just have English subtitle. But, this one,” he said as he took one casing from the pile in Phichit’s hands, “is called ‘The King and Skater’, I recommend. The songs from it is often used in short programs. it has Thai protagonist, also this version has Thai subtitle.”

“Yuuri…”

“I mean! I don’t know your taste, and I’ll try to look for others later if you want, but yeah, that’s all I could find at the moment.”

“Yuuri, you’re the best!”

Phichit couldn’t help but to tackle hug the older boy, cases of DVDs thrown around them with loud thud. Yuuri screamed that they’re all rental, too worried about them to care about the body contact.

* * *

Yuuri slept over a lot after that. Phichit insisted on watching the movies together. He was entranced with ‘The King and Skater’. In most rom-com the bros would watch Star Wars trilogy together, but him and Yuuri decided to regularly do marathon of ‘The King and Skater’ series, first and second movie and all of its spin-offs.

More like, Phichit decided. Yuuri being Yuuri just smiled and indulged him. Sometimes Ciao Ciao would join them after they talked about their skating and plan for next season, probably to make sure they’re not eating too much junk food.

The movies were glorious. Why they were never released in Thailand was beyond Phichit.

Yuuri was right. Watching the movies and singing the songs did wonder on his listening and speaking.

He pulled Yuuri to karaoke once, when there’s no homework to be done and there’s hours to spend. As expected there’s not much choice on Thai songs, but many English and Japanese choices.

Yuuri hesitated. Phichit wasn’t even surprised.

“Oh come on, Yuuri!”

“I’m not that good of a singer.”

“Do you have recording to prove this?”

“… no?”

“Then how can I know you’re terrible! Come on, come on! Let me rate the destructive power of your singing! You hum all the time and it sounds fine!”

The song he finally picked was ‘ _Shall We Skate_ ’.

Phichit swore Yuuri did it on purpose just to mess with him because he ignored Yuuri asking him to practice. Though it could also because he knew how addicted Phichit was to that song. Yuuri being Yuuri, both were possible. Five years and Phichit still wondered sometimes.

* * *

 

* * *

It was during impromptu selfie section. Phichit wouldn’t let anyone escape before good selfies with him. He’d pouted, bit on his medal and used his best baby voice.

“But it’s my day. I’m the medal boy. Come on, Yuuri~!”

He didn’t ask Chris because Chris was always down for some selfie. Guang Hong and Leo was on the process of asking out Georgi. The silver medalist however, seemed as if he’s about fall asleep while still standing, his eyelids seemingly very heavy and his warm sweet chocolate eyes which Phichit loved so much hidden behind them, seemingly only able to stay conscious thanks to sheer willpower.

On Phichit’s phone was already a collage. First of Victor and Yuuri kissing on ice then of Yuuri wobbling on his feet seemingly about to pass out any second now.  

“And here I thought true love kiss will wake up the Princess.”

He grumbled when the threat to post the collage fail to rouse any reaction from him. Yuuri was too tired to even react apparently, just smiling serenely, and Phichit decided to give up with a huff. Normal Yuuri would jump and slide backwards until his back hit the fence all the while screaming ‘NO’ repeatedly.

“I’m also a medal boy, you know.”

“Gold beat silver anytime.”

The others were already preparing for a group selfies. Georgi was easier to convince and friendlier than any of them expected. Well, knowing that Victor was as silly as he was, it’s not that surprising to be honest.

Speaking of which.

Victor was on the back chatting with the other coaches. Yuuri eyed him for a moment then started humming before gliding to where he was. He returned with Victor in tow, and his smile was serene as he announced proudly, “gazillion to one.”

Phichit could only laugh at Victor’s understandably confused expression.

Phichit managed to convince them for one photo, Yuuri had never been able to refuse Phichit and thankfully it didn't seem like changing anytime soon, before shushing them away to do whatever it is couples usually do behind closed doors on their first night.

Phichit still posted the collage, and Yuuri’s reaction when he's no longer lovedrunk was as addictive as always.


	3. Dance and Bond

So they sang few songs until the receptionist called them to alert about time limit and then proceeded by going to the rink, Yuuri seemingly in better mood and humming all the while happily.

Yuuri had beautiful voice, like Phichit had known. Still, he’d hit the wrong notes sometimes. Not enough to make anyone cringe, but surely everyone noticed that he couldn’t quite reach the higher nor lower pitch. His dancing was exquisite though.

He might be mediocre at best at singing, but his body would never fail to perfectly play the music. Tensing at the right crescendo, his footwork beating in tandem with the staccato…

On ice, off ice.

At least, he assumed off ice too. In karaoke, Yuuri sang while standing as still as a pole, and Phichit never really saw him dance.

“Yuuri, I heard you do ballet, right?”

“Yeah. My teacher is Minako Okukawa. And I’m considering breaking my arrangement with her no thanks to you.”

For a second, Phichit was very confused. What he possibly have done until Yuuri said such thing? Phichit felt like the name was familiar. It took him few minutes to recall that it’s the name in Touchbook account he stalked for Yuuri’s baby photos. No wonder he seemed a bit miffed.

“Oh come on, those are great photos.”

“Hmm. Keep telling yourself that.”

“That’s my line! You’re the non-believer.”

Phichit took out his phone and made sure he’d sent friend request to her. It’s been weeks but she hadn’t approved. Phichit resent the request and tried to strike conversation for good measure. He had no problem to admit he thirsted for more pictures of small Yuuri.

* * *

Minako accepted Phichit’s request few days later, and she led him to the account of Takeshi and Yuuko Nishigori. They were the couple from Yuuri’s wedding ceremony picture. Their babies were cute, though Phichit felt ashamed to admit it took hours before he realized that they had triplets, not twins.

And their naming sense said something of what skating meant for Yuuri.

Axel, Lutz, and Loop.

Cute girls. Also, cute dog.

There’s a picture of them clinging to what seemed to be a brown poodle, all four smiling so widely. At least, the dog seemed to be smiling wide, with pink tongue lolling out. The text under of the photo was ‘The girls and Vicchan miss you, Yuuri!’.

“Your friends’ dog is so cute!”

Yuuri halted and turned to Phichit. The sound of blade scratching ice was loud even amidst chattering noise of all of their rinkmates.

“My friends…?”

He seemed genuinely confused, which felt kind of sad when Phichit looked back. It was already about four months since they moved to Detroit. Yuuri was the one who could make Phichit felt like home the most, and that’s why he preferred to hang with him, but Yuuri wasn’t Phichit’s only friend.

At that time, he just took Yuuri’s inquiry as ‘I don’t think any of my friends here have pet’.

The truth was so much sadder, too far beyond the realm of possibility in the world seen through social butterfly’s eyes.

“The Nishigoris. I found them on Touchbook.”

Yuuri averted his gaze to the ice and hummed, seemingly out of understanding. Due to poor eyesight, when Yuuri’s skating his eyes were usually narrowed in effort to see and Phichit being too focused on his phone added to reasons why the melancholy in his warm chocolate eyes went unnoticed.

“Do you think Ciao Ciao will let me get a dog too, Yuuri?”

Yuuri’s laughter as he answered ‘no’ was painful sounding.

The performance he did later that day, an exhibition for the club, was even more heartwrenching.

Ciao Ciao said it’s because Yuuri knew ballet, but Phichit sensed more to it.

* * *

“Yuuri, do you still go to studio to dance?”

“No, I’m looking for one, but… haven’t found any place yet.”

“I see.”

Somehow, Phichit managed to convince Yuuri to dance with him. More like, perform a dance for him, really. Although it’s mostly just Yuuri showcasing how flexible he was. He was right. Yuuri’s body created music on ice and off ice. Just watching him warming up was enough for Phichit to imagine a love story with Yuuri as its main character.

“I don’t think anyone can be better than Minako anyway.”

Minako was Yuuri’s coach in ballet and self-grooming, Phichit found out. The one who helped him diet and designed some of his costume. There’re occasions when she helped create Yuuri’s program too. At least, that’s what it said on Yuuri’s Wikipedia page. 

(Phichit couldn’t help the envy. Wikipedia page would mean more followers and yet Yuuri preferred to close himself in.)

She sounded great from that alone, but her name led to another page. _Her own_ page _._ She was famous in dancer community, a ballerina from no-name town who'd taken the world by storm, so great she received  _Benois de la Danse_. No wonder Yuuri would find difficulty finding replacement of at least the same caliber as her.

“Maybe you should take this opportunity then.”

“What do you mean…?”

“I mean, maybe Minako is that awesome and irreplaceable. She’s the only one ballet instructor for you, like how there’s only ballet class available in Hasetsu. Since we’re in here and all, maybe we should try out other option. Widening our horizon and all that.”

“You said ‘ _we’_ and ‘ _our’_ and I’m confused.”

Phichit exaggerate his gasp.

“Yuuri, you can’t think of leaving me out of the fun! I’ll get lonely without you!”

Yuuri laughed sheepishly and said he’d think about it.

Phichit couldn’t help his loud ‘whoop’ in excitement when few weeks later Yuuri came with schedule for flamenco dance class, asking him what hour would be good for him too.

The classes didn’t quite work out, surprisingly not for Yuuri.

Maybe it’s due to his anxiety, but Yuuri didn’t do too well with the instructors. Apparently Yuuri needed to bond first before he’d let anyone take him by the hand and show him the way. Maybe that’s why he only accepted Ciao Ciao’s offer recently even though Phichit knew the Italian had been asking him since he’s a Junior skater.

He only lasted few weeks, rarely more than two months in the same class. He failed to bond with the instructors everytime.

But it did open up a whole new world, so to speak.

Not that Phichit would know that until his first GPF event.

* * *

* * *

Anxiety means Yuuri was a sensitive soul.

Emotion bubbled under his skin, begging to be released. On his good days, it meant crazy high PCT score. By crazy, Phichit meant almost perfect. By principle, no teacher would ever give perfect score on anything. Phichit had a teacher who said that giving perfect score meant discouraging students from pursuing more knowledge.

Which was stupid.

Phichit still couldn’t understand how that could apply on art. There’s no right or wrong in art. Low score in art meant ‘you’re terrible, better stop and focus on something more useful’ back when he’s in Thai.

But everyone agreed. Yuuri belonged under the spotlight, on the ice.

On Yuuri’s bad days though, it meant flubbing all his jumps.

Every.

Single.

One.

Such days were rare, but unfortunately for Yuuri, gods decided to be cruel and make the GPF Free Skate competition one of those days. The fact that admittedly, he knew he’s one with the least skill, technically speaking, didn’t help.

He did so well in Short Program, but him being able to only do one quad meant it’s close to impossible for him to get score high enough to bring him to podium. Phichit didn’t think Ciao Ciao made Yuuri’s program with gold medal in mind, and it irked the Thai a bit.

Yuuri deserved to stand in the podium. He _could_ stand in the podium. Not many believed he could though.

> **katsuki+yr** I’m fine

They were miles apart, but Phichit felt like he could feel him sob against him. No phone call then. Yuuri hated people seeing or hearing him cry. It’s been days but Phichit didn’t dare pushing his luck with Yuuri.

> **phichit+chu** I’m glad
> 
> **katsuki+yr** thx

It was after Christmas, after Yuuri finish eleventh in All-Japan. Grand Prix Final still weighed him, and everyone saying ‘you’ll breeze through this’ made him paradoxically stressed. Yuuri was a contradiction that way.

Bombing All-Japan means Yuuri wouldn’t be in Four-Continents, and his TES scores didn’t qualify him for World either. For the meantime he decided to finish up college in Tokyo. Phichit felt worry restricting his lungs.

> **katsuki+yr** I talked to him btw
> 
> **katsuki+yr** in sochi
> 
> **phichit+chu** you mean
> 
> **phichit+chu** your crush since eleven?

He tried to joke, in hope to make Yuuri feel lighter. He expected Yuuri to deny it, so the reply was surprising to say the least.

> **katsuki+yr** ya
> 
> **katsuki+yr** chris is rite he is nice
> 
> **katsuki+yr** so nice to his fans
> 
> **katsuki+yr** he went last on sp and fp so I don’t blame him tbh

It took few re-reading until Phichit understand what Yuuri meant with Victor being nice to his fans.

Victor didn’t recognize him.

It’s hell on earth level of bad. Zombie apocalypse level bad. Hamsters somehow escaping their cage and ended up in the kitchen bad. Celestino hippy-phase hair-do before Phichit and Yuuri moved to Detroit bad. Phichit opened a new tab, couldn’t quite fight the urge to search for plane ticket to Tokyo so he could be with Yuuri in quite possibly one of his darkest hours.

It’s like the dance classes in the past. The difference was Yuuri was currently struggling to connect with himself, losing joy in his art and could only feel exhaustion even though his movement was as beautiful as ever.

Yuuri ended up quitting those classes, and Phichit wished to be convinced that this time it would be different.

> **phichit+chu** yuuri I’ll see you later
> 
> **phichit+chu** in next gp qualifier rite?

Yuuri never typed the answer to that question.

The video of him skating to ‘Stay Close to Me’ which went viral around April though was answer enough for Phichit.


	4. God

June was the time for assignments.

Moving, school, and so many other things made it absolutely impossible for Phichit to join Nationals on March, too many paperwork and schoolwork to design a program, just like how Yuuri opted to skip the season. Even though they’ve started to think about what theme they’re going to use for next year, Yuuri and Phichit wouldn’t be assigned on any championships for that year’s Grand Prix.

In fact, Yuuri came over to plan out his program for All-Japan in December. To at least pick songs and what theme he’s planning to use. The talk went into the night and he decided to sleep over. Ciao Ciao told Phichit to recommend some songs to Yuuri, and that’s what he was currently doing.

Scouring Youtube and iTunes for song suitable for Yuuri.

He expected Yuuri to do the same, actually. It was after all for his programs.

“You’re kidding.”

Apparently not.

Glancing from his laptop to Yuuri who was sitting beside him, Phichit saw that he was currently video chatting with Christophe Giacometti of Switzerland via skype.

Chris, as he was fondly called by most people, got to podium in World Championship on March, earning bronze in his first appearance. He was quite famous for his rapid rise to fame, since he was pretty much unknown before he entered Senior division. No one could deny that gold medalist Victor Nikiforov shadowed his fame though.

Puberty was kind to Chris. Very kind. He transformed from angelic looking pure countrybumpkin to what Phichit could only call ‘sexy’. Glancing at Yuuri who got the other spectrum of kind puberty, the ‘not suddenly bulking out, becoming furrier, and not suitable to figure skating’ kind, Phichit wished wholeheartedly that he’d be as lucky as them.

“Yuuri, you have that little faith in me? I’m hurt, you know.”

 Phichit saw Chris taking out his phone, tapped few times, then dangled it in front of the camera. Yuuri screamed, though he muffled it with both of his hands covering his mouth.

“Oh my god oh my god, is that LINE?! You have his number?!”

“He’s actually pretty nice. The tabloids don’t lie. Also, he’s pretty down to earth.”

“Well, I know, I mean…! But still! I don’t think I’ll mind selling my kidney for his number!”

Yuuri turned red and started to mumble incoherently in what Phichit assumed was bits of Japanese. Chris laughed heartily.

“Yuuri, you’re adorable as always.”

“Please don’t tease me…”

“I’m sending it to your LINE.”

“I owe you my life, Chris.”

“Never pegged you as someone with flair to the dramatics, Yuuri, but I’ll hold you on to that.”

Phichit scooted closer to Yuuri and squint to see more clearly of what had made Yuuri so uncharacteristically agitated. He was smiling and marveling the picture Chris just sent to his phone with sparkly chocolate eyes.

A picture of Victor Nikiforov and a brown poodle Phichit found familiar looking somehow, his famous waist long hair though had been cut short. Shorter than Yuuri’s hair, though his bangs was left long, gray curtains complimenting icy blue eyes perfectly. Apparently he’d sent Chris his selfie, making the Swiss one of the first people on earth to know about his image change.

(SILVER PHICHIT HE IS NOT A GRANDPA HE HAS BEAUTIFUL SILVER HAIR AND HE DEFINITELY DIDN’T CUT IT BECAUSE HE’S BALDING, Yuuri would scream out later, but Phichit could see the uncertainty in Yuuri’s eyes.)

(Phichit didn’t think he even mentioned the word bald)

(It’s all Yuuri)

Dare Phichit said it, he seemed absolutely smitten.

He’d known that Yuuri was a fan, (because honestly, who’s not a fan?) but he never knew he’s that hardcore of a fan.

“Oh my, who is that? Yuuri, you didn’t tell me you’re currently with someone.”

Yuuri gasped and flailed and screamed ‘NONONONONONO’ to the laptop screen. Phichit raised an eyebrow, confused of the very strong denial to what he thought then was nothing.

(Still too young for innuendos, Phichit would lament when he’s older. He’d missed a lot of opportunity to tease Yuuri)

“This is, uhm, my rinkmate, Phichit Chulanont from Thailand. Phichit, this is-”

“Christophe Giacometti, I know! How do you do! What’s your Instagram account?”

He did not have Instagram, but promised to make one soon. Phichit did however manage to friend him on LINE and Touchbook.

Apparently Chris and Yuuri first met when they’re still in Junior division, and bonded quickly (for Yuuri’s standard) over their idol.

Or anyone’s idol really.

Victor Nikiforov was looked up to by almost any young skaters.

If life was a movie, and they’re featured in the character page, Chris would be mentioned in TVTrope as the ascended fanboy. He could meet Victor in person in European Championship five years prior after his debut in Senior Division. There’s video of Victor tossing him a rose from his bouquet and telling him ‘see you in Worlds’.

There’s video in Youtube, a fan of both of them expecting something to happen on Worlds when they could see each other again. Then again, turns out they met earlier than expected on Grand Prix Final last December. Said fan didn’t expect it, and when they came to Worlds apparently Victor and Chris was no longer an idol and his fan.

Among those competing, Victor was the closest in age to Chris. It’s natural that they’d be fast friends, really. The skating community at large however, mourned to have missed the reunion. Specially since someone capture a picture of them few days before Worlds on the hotel pool, enjoying vodka.

Speedlane. From idol and fan to drinking buddies in three months is super fast.

Phichit couldn’t help the envy. Distraction was needed if he wanted to be within one meter distance to Yuuri without him being a bundle of anxiety.

He could feel Yuuri inching away from Phichit, his euphoria from seeing Victor Nikiforov’s new haircut dissipating.

“So I heard you are assigned to Skate America, Chris?”

“Yes, that’s right. My coach is looking for tickets as we speak.”

Chris joked about having photos of Victor Nikiforov in swimsuits that Yuuri would definitely like, for a price. Yuuri seemed so happy, smile relaxed and cheeks flushed as he promised he’d at least try to be there for the pictures.

“Not my performance? You wound me, Yuuri.”

“I can always livestream you. But private photo of Victor? You understand, don’t you, Chris?”

“That is true. The connection is better in America, I take it?”

Phichit drew Yuuri’s relationship gauge like Lilo drew Stitch’s evil meter as he listened to Yuuri and Chris chat some more.

> **Phichit** : still acquaintance, maybe few points more than last months
> 
> **Chris** : fellow fanboy
> 
> **Victor _fucking_ Nikiforov** : god

* * *

* * *

Phichit stared amusingly at Yuuri.

The Japanese was trying to look at anywhere but anyone’s general direction, opting to stare at the wall or the food or the floor. His face was red to the tips of his ears, and his body seemed tense.

A bundle of anxiety.

But next to Yuuri was one Victor Nikiforov.

He’s almost naked. He’s clingy to Yuuri.

Victor Nikiforov was clingy to Yuuri, in his half-naked glory, and yet the Japanese skater barely seemed happy at all. Just embarrassed.

Oh god, birthday came early, Phichit thought as he took out his phone with huge grin.

Celestino pointedly drank his glasses in big gulps. Faintly, Phichit could hear him mutter some Italian curses, and Yuuri and Victor’s name was mentioned. The Thai boy decided to record his coach’s rambling to be translated later, certain that it contained important tidbits of information.

“Yuuri~ You’re sooooo cold!”

Phichit deduced what he meant basing on two points.

Point one, Victor Nikiforov was drunk. Phichit knew that in general, drunk people would have higher body temperature, and he was happily clinging to Yuuri, so it could be about that.

Point two, Victor Nikiforov was definitely Russian with not a drop of other nationalities’ blood mixed in his veins. Russians have evolved to survive the cold. If even the Russians said Yuuri’s cold, then Yuuri must be colder than even ice.

Since it’s unlikely for body temperature to be colder than ice, so Phichit deduced it’s the other thing.

Yuuri’s less than stellar personality, the one which allowed him to abandon anything and everything for his goal.

Yes, including his loved ones.

Even his god, _the_ Victor Nikiforov.

“Uhm, sorry, guys. Victor drank too much and-“

“Yuuri! Let’s go to hotspring! It’s warm… You’re the kindest in hotspring… You never let me touch you otherwise… Oh I know, everyone should join us! Hasetsu good place come once for warm soul…”

Celestino stopped his drunken rambling and Phichit begged him to continue on. Still, he couldn’t fight the urge to change his camera to photographic mode and took a picture, it could be useful in the future. Leo and Guang Hong were trembling next to the table, eyes on their phone but they seemed conflicted whether they wanted to take picture or not.

Aah, to be young and pure. Phichit didn’t miss those times one bit.

“Hey, Victor? Do you think your body heat is enough to thaw Yuuri’s cold cold heart?”

_“Phichit-kun!”_

Phichit laughed, and pointed his phone camera to the coach-athlete pair in front of him.

But then…

Phichit could feel his eyebrows rose to his hairline and he was sure he’s looking like those people with goiters, with their eyes bulging out and seemingly out of their sockets as he watched figure skating Living Legend stripping off his pants.

He cursed in Thai, couldn’t believe his luck.

Then Guang Hong shrieked.

Turning to the young Chinese skater, there’s a black thong on his hair. He seemed like Phichit’s hamsters when a stray cat got into the dorm. Leo was still frozen, face covered by Victor’s pants. Yuuri screamed when suddenly a very naked Victor Nikiforov decided to push him down to the floor, pinning him down.

The whole restaurant then got thrown into chaos.

Those poor poor people wasn’t ready to see so much skin. The customers screamed, and cried, and ran out. Phichit decided to ignore Celestino, he’s currently out cold anyway, and walked closer to Victor and Yuuri.

“Vi… Victor, please get off me!! You’re na- oh my god, Phichit-kun! What are you- no no no no no please stop no don’t!!!”

Front camera would mean worse quality, but it couldn’t be helped. The situation was in need of perfect placement. Victor glared to the camera, apparently annoyed because Yuuri was still too ‘cold’ to his liking even after doing what Phichit suggested. Phichit placed his hand over his mouth and took the picture.

 _Wow_.


	5. Help

After long contemplation, Phichit decided to text Chris.

He was somewhat reluctant for it. Chris was nice, but still he’s someone nearly six year Phichit’s senior. Maybe if it’s about skating, he’d feel a bit better having to disturb him in this important time. His first assigned championship for the season was near after all.

Much to his pleasant surprise though, Chris replied with invitation for a skype videochat.

“Nice to see you again, Phichit.”

Phichit felt his cheeks warming up to what’s definitely a blush.

Aah, what a good person. There’s this vibe oozing through the screen, definitely related to the kind smile Chris kept almost always on his handsome face. Phichit felt nice. And warm. Not like when he was seeing Yuuri’s sweet chocolate eyes, but nice nevertheless.

Yuuri’s eyes were nice to look at, but Phichit had also seen bitterness in it. He hadn’t known how bitter Yuuri could actually be, he’d suspected the answer would be VERY, but Phichit supposed it’s delectable in a way.

(Phichit found out later how if used properly, Yuuri’s bitterness could be a force of nature, a mature taste that enabled him to enthrall even men)

Chris’s hazel eyes were something else. Something currently beyond Phichit’s understanding. He just knew that he’s good and harmless in moderation.

“So, what can I do for you?”

It took few seconds of Phichit to formulate words, and finally he let out…

“YUURI!”

Chris blinked and tilted his head to the side. His cat followed his movement and meow-ed.

“You want me to do Yuuri?”

Fortunately, Phichit’s English wasn’t that good yet. Or maybe it’s unfortunate. Phichit still had difficulty deciding it. This first conversation he had with Chris would be remembered as one of the funniest thing that’s ever spoken to him after he had better grasp in English, but at that moment he just stared confusedly at the Swiss man, and thankfully Chris got the hint.

Pure kid, must not soil. There must be a neon sign visible above his head.

“Sorry. What’s wrong with Yuuri?”

“He’s just… so… distant??”

“Aah, yes. Yuuri has that vibe, isn’t he? He’s very private, after all.”

Phichit nodded enthusiastically, his hamtaro pillow (precious birthday present from Yuuri, and often victim of his frustration towards Yuuri) hugged tight.

“He just goes along with me… almost everytime! Which is nice but it makes me feel terribly guilty recently?? He never seems like he’s having fun around me… And he hides stuffs, which I thought was porn at first but turns out it’s just his massive collection of Victor Nikiforov merchandise?! Which is, okay, a bit weird, sorry but I just can’t understand the appeal of having towel with my idol’s face drawn on it, but not THAT weird, I think?? And… and and I feel like a kid and his sitter?? _Phichit, don’t forget your homework. Phichit, eat your broccoli. Phichit, don’t forget to wash your hand after touching the hamsters, you could get plague...!_ He’s worse than Ciao Ciao! Friends don’t do that, I think??”

“He has a what now?”

“He mistakenly brought that instead of his other plain towel last time he slept over. He wouldn’t talk to me. IT’S BEEN DAYS, CHRIS!! I don’t know Victor Nikiforov in person, and I believe you when you said he’s a good guy, but I’m starting to hate his guts! But still the biggest pain in the head is Yuuri being Yuuri and our stupid age difference maybe and I just don’t know what to do!!”

Chris seemed like he’s having trouble keeping a straight face, snorted into his hand, and Phichit groaned into his hamtaro pillow.

“You can laugh.”

He pressed the mute button to not startle Ciao Ciao, having very clear idea of how loud Chris’s laugh was by the way he’s trembling and his cat running away from him. The door behind him opened, a bald man in glasses Phichit assumed was his coach peeking in worriedly. Chris waved his hand, and turned around most likely to calm him down.

When Chris gained semblance of control back, Phichit brought the volume back up.

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I’d find it hilarious too, I guess. If it’s not about me, I think.”

“To tell the truth I’m tempted to tell Victor about this.”

But he would never, Phichit knew, because Yuuri was a lucky guy with decent human beings around him, wishing that he’d think of them like they thought of him. He had that charm in him, for some reason. For some super annoying reason. God was kind that way, or just unfair.

It’s just that Yuuri was Yuuri and when Phichit saw him dancing a program he’d noticed then as Victor Nikiforov’s, it felt like he could hear beautiful singing. The world shifted, and it’s like that Tumblr meme.

The one about seeing somebody so beautiful you couldn’t help but to want to cry and give money to them. Phichit thought he’d not mind giving anything so that he could see Yuuri’s skate again.

Hearing his admission, Chris seemed like he couldn’t help but to laugh once more.

“Remind me to take you and Yuuri to a club I frequent to when you’re older, Phichit.”

* * *

* * *

Phichit was seventeen when for whatever reason that he’d forgotten (he assumed it was ‘for science’) he and Yuuri ended up taking poledancing class.

Yuuri was a bundle of anxiety all the way, more so than when he’s trying out other dance classes, but the instructors had praised his flexibility and core strength. Hearing that Yuuri just laughed dryly and seemingly contemplating his life choices.

Phichit stared at Yuuri tiptoe-ing around the pole when suddenly Chris’s words from when he was younger made sense. To be fair, it’s not like he remembered much of that time. Still, the line must have made an impression to him that seeing Yuuri in that particular class made him attain enlightment.

The whole room blurred, leaving only Yuuri seemingly solid in Phichit’s world. His movement seemed slow but it’s impossible because Yuuri was jumping, but still everything was in slow motion for some reason. Faintly, he could hear himself chatting with Chris, telling the older man about his frustration about Yuuri babying him and avoiding him and curse Victor Nikiforov and curse their 4 years age difference and-

“… oh my god.”

He took a pic when Yuuri was trying what the instructor said was ‘Superman’ pose or whatever, and sent it to Chris. The answer was immediate.

> **christophe-gc** I know there’s a reason I like you phichit

* * *

* * *

* * *

Waking up, the first thing Phichit realized was that he still had about half an hour before he had to rush to the rink. He was about to hide the phone again under his pillow and close his eyes until the alarm resound again in five minutes, a habit he’d had since when he’s in Detroit, when he realized that he had few new text messages as well as few missed calls from foreign number.

He recognized it as Japanese number, and Yuuri came to mind, but Yuuri always called him through LINE or skype, so it couldn’t be him.

Intrigue erased sleep from his mind, clearing up the fog with every blink he did as he read through the messages.

“… huh.”

Was what came to his mind. Only that, and the urge to scream from the tallest building in Bangkok, ‘WELCOME TO MY LIFE FIVE YEARS AGO ENJOY YOUR STAY FOREVER’.

Still, the whole situation was rather funny, so Phichit texted back and told him that he’s available after dinner, around seven Bangkok time. Also, he LINEd Yuuri, just short message of ‘ _super happy for you, details pls asap’_ , and practically skipped to the bathroom.

When he logged on Skype around nine (to spite him) he found a contact request, which he accepted after a selfie, because seriously, Phichit could feel it in his bones. He needed to document it all. It’d be useful in not so distant future.

Yuuri was Yuuri, so it might take a while, but surely not that long since it’s _him_ who’s after Yuuri now.

“Good evening.”

Phichit made sure to greet him with a wide smile. He seemed tired, and Phichit felt his mood getting better and better. He was after all, one big reason he struggled in the past.

“Hi… good evening. I’m-”

“Victor Nikiforov, I know! How can I help you?”

 


	6. Trust

Chris must have known something.

Surely, because if Yuuri’s so upset being found out of how much of a fan he was until he avoided Phichit, Chris must have done something which made him come back when he surely avoided Chris.

The unfairness of it all was when Chris admitted that it never happened, since it was Yuuri who found out that Chris was a fellow fan. Apparently he’d spotted the Swiss on the locker room watching recordings of Victor’s past performances and couldn’t help but to take a peek over his shoulder. They hit it off from there, comparing favorites moves and style and the way Victor smiled…

He could imagine Yuuri with his sweet sparkly chocolate eyes wide and cheeks flushed red from excitement and smiling happily while clutching some merchandize of Victor Nikiforov. Perfectly. More like, too clearly.

Phichit screamed to his pillow.

He thought he’d be able to do it. Talking about Victor Nikiforov’s godly skill and good looks, his delicate looking ethereal image from his youth and his current more humane look and actually mean it. Phichit was interested in the art of entertainment, in how you put yourself on display was as important as the practicality of the performance. Victor was a master, Phichit supposed.

Though he noticed too late that his delicate look meant he’s not suitable for a lot of style, the choices for his themes limited by sheer awkwardness from seemingly trying too hard.

So, yes. If Yuuri wanted to, Phichit _could_ gush about Victor too.

(Not that he got the urge to do it almost constantly, unlike Yuuri)

And it’s just frustrating when Yuuri bolted out probably assuming that Phichit could only see him as a creepy fanboy. Though yes, the towel thing was a bit too much for Phichit. Still it’s not that weird since back in Bangkok he’d known many girls who said they’d like to be a princess one day and happily use princess printed towels.

It’s silly, it’s stupid, and that was why Phichit jumped Yuuri next time he found him, not letting him escape. Not again.

Let it be made clear.

Phichit found Yuuri in locker room, changing from his polo shirt and jeans to work out outfit. No one else was in there, miraculously. Under the doorknob, the silver key gleaming seductively, and Phichit couldn’t fight the urge to turned it and hid it in his pocket.

Yuuri had stopped moving when he realized it, chocolate eyes comically wide.

“Yuuri…”

The older skater let out a muffled shriek through his hands and backed away.

“Phi-Phichit…”

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

A statement, no accusation. Both of them knew that it’s true. What Yuuri let out next could only be called a squeak and he backed away until the wall trapped him.

If he’s older, Phichit would probably get Yuuri to talk to him. Maybe demand an explanation and maybe Phichit would then give reassurance that he’d seen weirder things in Bangkok, mostly done by young girls aspiring to be princesses but yeah, Yuuri’s not that weird, but alas Phichit just turned sixteen couple months before and everyone had always said he had young soul and so he did what children would do when their good friend decided to ignore them.

He cried.

* * *

Contrary to popular belief,  Phichit and Yuuri didn’t hit it off right off the bat. Yuuri was Yuuri, and he never looked forward to making new connections. He feared it like plague.

Phichit wasn’t an exception.

Yuuri came to America to skate, and he was determined to do just that. Emphasis on _just that_. Skating was the only thing that he ever did, except for when he had to do his homework and when Phichit dragged him somewhere.

Those exceptions he always did obviously half-heartedly.

Weeks had passed, close to two months, before Phichit and Yuuri’s first real conversation. Of Phichit saying that Yuuri skated beautifully and Yuuri saying ‘thank you’ in broken Thai. It’s a miracle, not part of Yuuri’s plan. Making friend was not something Yuuri thought about.

If he ever thought about it at all, even when he’s still in Hasetsu.

Phichit had heard from Yuuko and Takeshi. Those two probably heard from Minako that Phichit was Yuuri’s rinkmate, and had wanted to check up on him since Yuuri would probably just say ‘I’m okay’.

> **phichit+chu** he seems ok to me but
> 
> **phichit+chu** I wouldn’t know how he is at school

Then they let out that it’s okay because in Japan, none of his schoolmates knew much about him either. He was there, and yet he’s never there. No one would notice him there, and no one would notice him missing. He’s not good even in pleasantries despite being a celebrity, hence why he could mostly stay invisible in Hasetsu.

Phichit probably was the closest to him in Detroit, if Yuuri could tell him about Minako at least.

Phichit looked down to his hamtaro pillow and hugged it tight. Him finding hamsters cute was common knowledge among his friends, but only Yuuri was considerate enough to get him hamster related item for his birthday. Or get him anything at all, in fact. It’s just been months since he moved to Detroit. It’s understandable if people don’t think of him that greatly yet, not enough to make them give him birthday present.

He was so happy getting it. Rather, he was so happy that day, period. Yuuri took him to petshop, for once being the one who suggested their outing, just to look around admiring how cute the hamsters were. He slept over, and they spent the night watching ‘The King and Skater’ series, for once Celestino letting them screwing their diet plan and ordering pizza.

A good person. At least he’s considerate.

Maybe? Phichit didn’t know how to take Yuuri at that moment.

He had his secrets, and he probably thought of Phichit only as some kid needed to be taken care of, but Phichit genuinely liked Yuuri. Which was why Yuuri running away brought out all kinds of bad feelings from the depth of Phichit’s heart.

“… I’m sorry.”

Yuuri said.

Phichit was on the floor, sniffling and sobbing. He probably had said a lot, but for some reason he couldn’t remember what he’d said. Or if he’d said anything in English at all. He was sure he’s cursing Victor Nikiforov though, because it’s because Yuuri was embarrassed over him that he avoided Phichit.

“Someone called me creepy. In Japan, I mean. We’re okay now, but… I can’t… get over it… yet…”

Takeshi, Phichit’s mind supplied helpfully. The man had been sorry, had apologized, but still couldn’t quite shake off the guilt from bullying little chubby adorable Yuuri due to petty jealousy over Yuuko.

“You don’t… trust me?”

“… I’m… sorry...”

Yes.

Yuuri being Yuuri, the answer was obvious from the start.

* * *

* * *

Chris was right, Victor was nice. He had almost no sense of propriety and restraint, and maybe a bit lacking in common sense and consideration in people’s feelings, but he’s obviously trying that Phichit could categorize him as ‘nice dumb person’.

Like Yuuri, actually. Maybe even nicer, perhaps. Except Yuuri’s sense of propriety and restraint was just too strong, the opposite of Victor. Phichit might even say that they compliment each other.

Phichit sipped on his iced Thai tea (the best ever, incomparable to the stuffs he’d had in Detroit, because nothing beats the taste of home), savoring the thick flavor and creaminess of it, as he listened to the Russian man. Every once in a while he’d press **_PrtScr_** , because sometimes Victor would make faces that Phichit would want to share to Chris or maybe even Yuuri.

Yuuri once said that Phichit was a good person. Maybe that’s why he ended up never sharing the screenshots though. He just enjoyed the moment, reveling in the fact that Yuuri didn’t avoid him because he’s a nobody.

Nope, he avoided _the_ Victor Nikiforov too.

Phichit was honestly so happy, if they’re face to face he could have kissed the man.

“Okay, so let me get this straight. Someone, who is not Yuuri, posted a video of Yuuri skating to your program. And you decided to come to be his coach immediately? That’s the gist of things which happened like, two days ago?”

“Yes. I couldn’t help it, I booked the earliest flight possible. Oh, and I’ve found who posted it. They’re nice and adorable girls.”

Ah, the cute triplets, Phichit wasn’t even surprised. The Thai nodded and slurped his tea audibly before continued his questioning.

“And now, you’re asking me for advice because Chris said I’m Yuuri’s better friend, closer than Chris, and I’d know what to do in situation where Yuuri simply not want to be with you.”

“Yes.”

Good god, this man was out of his mind. People don’t just decide on a change of career and move out to another country in the span of one day. First of all, it’s literally impossible, what the hell did he do to get the visa? Worlds that year was in Tokyo, but surely it’s expired by then.

Maybe it’s because he’s an ice god. Yes, maybe it’s because of that. Maybe he’s so full of it because of that. Like he’s used to people following his whims and sticking themselves to him like glue that… he simply can’t imagine any other scenario.

Phichit was honestly wondering how to tell Victor that his actions screamed SUSPICIOUS if not also CREEPY.

“Did Yuuri ever ask you to?”

“Yes.”

He answered without hesitation, and Phichit couldn’t help the rose of his eyebrow. That’s new information. He was sure that Yuuri would share that particular news, the only thing he heard about Yuuri and Victor’s only possible time of meeting in Sochi was that the Living Legend didn’t recognize his fellow competitor.

Phichit thought that Yuuri would tell him everything after all they’ve been through together, but apparently not? Not even the good news that his god accepted his wish?

If only Yuuri would just turn his cellphone on. He must be barraged by mails and calls at that moment, and Yuuri was one of practicality. What better way to tune them off than to simply disable his cellphone?

“He did?”

“He did.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, he told me to stay in his family inn… Chris was there, and a lot of others. His coach too! Yuuri was very clear about it. I’d agreed to him then, but… when I got here… well, it’s not what I expected…”

Well, okay, Phichit decided to make sure with Chris later, but if it’s the case then the confusion would be understandable. The suspicious level too, could be brought down. And the matter with the visa. So he’d been preparing for the move since Worlds, if not before… it’s just that the video made him change his flight schedule.

Was that possible? Well, let’s just say it was. Phichit honestly couldn’t find it important for the conversation.

“Define ‘not what you expected’.”

“Oh, his family is so nice and lovely. They accepted me right away. Even laughed and wondered out loud why Yuuri didn’t mention inviting me over. Yuuri however just... not want to talk to me? About himself? He’d always come with me though, like to Hasetsu Castle, and to Ice Castle and other places, but he never seemed like he’s really enjoying it?”

Phichit blinked once, twice, then laughed.

He really, really laughed.

Victor seemed confused, and he seemed so adorable and cute, and Phichit wondered if Chris found him cute too five years ago when he complained about the exact same thing.

_PING_

> **katsuki+yr** victor is here and I think I’m about this close to having heart attack
> 
> **katsuki+yr** constantly
> 
> **katsuki+yr** I don’t know why he’s here or what did I do to deserve it bit scared tbh
> 
> **katsuki+yr** minako told me to use him anyway so I guess I will

Phichit smiled at the newly received texts. The second part was a bit suspicious, but Phichit could guess what happened in Sochi. He’d have to ask Chris or Ciao Ciao for confirmation but only one thing could explain it and Yuuri’s bold request which was totally out of character for him.

Aah, lucky guy. Gods never stopped smiling on him, huh.

“Right, sorry. I got the gist of what happened. Don’t worry, Yuuri is just being Yuuri. He doesn’t actually hate you. He’s actually like that to anyone. Ask around if you don’t believe me.”

Victor actually lit up like a puppy seeing jerky dangled in front of him, and Phichit thought that they might be a match made in heaven.

He pressed **_PrtScr_** once more.


	7. Blame

Celestino banged on the door, and at one point Yuuri asked Phichit for the key.

Reluctantly, he gave it to him, but surprisingly Yuuri didn’t use it to leave Phichit to their coach to soothe. Instead, he tried to ask Celestino to leave them be for a while alone, since it’d be dangerous for Phichit to skate in his current state anyway.

“And me too, actually…”

“I understand, Yuuri, but can’t you go to café with him or something? There are people who want to change and use the bathroom.”

In which in response, Yuuri slammed the door shut and locked it once more. Phichit tried to muffle his gasp with his palm, but maybe he failed.

“Yuuri, open the door!”

“I’m sorry, Coach, but I can’t let Phichit out in this state!”

The whole scene was funny, and Phichit couldn’t help but to laugh at Yuuri’s sheepish face, or maybe at the commotion outside. Yuuri returned his smile as he walked closer, ignoring the banging and orders from outside. After a while, Ciao Ciao maybe decided to give up. Maybe asked the boys to change in the girls’ locker room for the time being, to the horror of both parties.

Their screams could be recorded and people would certainly say it’s from a horror movie.

“You know we’d have to go out sooner or later,” Yuuri said as he slid down the wall, sitting next to Phichit.

“Hmm…”

Phichit agreed, but not yet. Maybe in couple hours. For the time being, he just wanted to enjoy being in the empty locker room with his friend. Or maybe not. Yuuri might not thought of him as a friend. Being ‘friends’ is a mutual thing, right?

But Yuuri stayed silent, only stiffening a bit, when Phichit rested his head on his shoulder.

The acceptance made him want to cry again, from relief this time.

“I’m still mad,” he announced, because he’s a child, and he wouldn’t let the silly situation and simple act improved his mood and make the whole thing go away. For good measure, he puffed his cheeks and narrowed his eyes.

Yuuri let out a chuckle.

“You look silly. Like that fat hamster we saw on your birthday.”

“You mean cute!”

“Do you want to look cute when you’re angry?”

Yuuri made a good point.

It’s hard to stay angry. Or to look angry. Phichit’s not good with that. He smiled too often. Life was good to him in general. Except for Yuuri. Yuuri’s just terrible. And life was better to Yuuri than to Phichit, but Yuuri’s too anxious to notice.

“I’m sorry, Phichit. I’m not good… with people.”

Phichit would prefer to think it’s because he’d been crying that his cheeks seemed darker in the mirror, blush hidden by his darker skin tone. Not because Yuuri for some reason decided to tilt his head and Phichit could feel his cheeks on his hair. He swallowed once before replying.

“Yeah, I noticed. I’m going to rant to Takeshi about this. It’s his fault. I’ll make sure Yuuko ground him for life. Also to Chris, about his terrible new best friend.”

“Victor is not terrible, what are you saying? You don’t even know him.”

“He made you terrible.”

“… I’ve idolized him since I was twelve. Was I already terrible when we met?”

“Yes. You ignored me for months, letting me wallow alone in loneliness. I look pathetic for a while, not having anyone to take selfies with. Check my Instagram. Takeshi would agree with me. He’d probably say Victor made Yuuko take you to dates often. You made HIM the thirdwheel. Victor Nikiforov, through you, made Takeshi Nishigori the thirdwheel in outings with his _girlfriend_. He’s the worst.”

“That’d explain why he didn’t stop bullying me until their marriage, actually… Though to be fair, he started it. Since when have you been close to them, anyway?”

“It’s weird. I feel like I know more about you from them than from you.”

They stayed in the locker room until dark, quite literally so. Phichit would prefer to tell everyone that they made up, and they did even though Phichit didn’t remember saying that he forgave Yuuri. That they walked out of that room feeling content, and maybe hand in hand, and closer than ever.

Nope, it didn’t happen like that.

They’re still talking, discussing the extend of horrible-ness of one Victor Nikiforov when Celestino turned off the power, and the sudden loss of sight made them both panic and ran out screaming. Celestino waited outside, a rolled newspaper in hand. He’d smacked both of their heads, and told them to not do that again.

Not the fight, no. Though Celestino admitted he’d prefer for his pupils to not fight each other. He just asked them to not monopolize an essential part of the building for their fight. Also to remember that the rink closed at nine and Phichit was an underage who still couldn’t be trusted on going home alone without taking three hour detour to see hamsters in petshop.

Just to be sure, he decided to change the lock on the doors, to make the key impossible to replace.

“… Yuuri?”

“Hmm?”

“Talk to you later?”

Not see you again.

It’s twenty first century. There’s LINE, skype, twitter, Touchbook, Instagram and whole other services available, and ‘see you again’ is overrated. Even if they’re not going to be face to face, even if the next day was a break day for skating and Yuuri would probably want to be a hermit in his dorm doing homework, Phichit wanted to talk to Yuuri again.

Not yet, they’re not done yet.

“… yeah. LINE me anytime.”

Yuuri said with a wave of his hand, watching with warm chocolate eyes and reassuring smile as Phichit drove off with their coach.

* * *

It’s abnormal, when Phichit thought about it in the future.

How Yuuri could shift from being like a cornered rodent to someone that calm and mature, listening Phichit and commenting calmly. How he could even talk about Victor that calmly, not once denying things he’d normally be embarrassed about.

 Yuuko said it’s because Yuuri liked him.

Whenever they chat, Yuuri wouldn’t fail to mention Phichit, she said.

Phichit might had hard time believing her, if only she didn’t mention some things that Yuuko couldn’t know about. Things he only remembered telling Yuuri, and the small things only Yuuri could notice.

Like how he missed Thai’s spicy food so much at one time he chewed raw chilli pepper with his food.

How when attempting to recreate Thai tea, he once bought a kilogram worth of Ceylon tea, using a week worth of allowance in one day, and ended up using them all up in one hour.

How he liked ‘ _Shall We Skate_ ’ so much he could sing it in Thai, English and bits of Japanese.

So many moments that Yuuko knew that Phichit never mentioned in his status.

“… is that so…”

“Yup! Yuuri-kun definitely consider you an important person, Phichit- _kun_.”

Phichit wondered if Yuuri felt relieved when he saw him crying. Maybe people’s misery, seeing people even more stressed than he was made him relaxed instead.

What a sadist, he thought with a laugh as he hugged his hamtaro pillow.

* * *

* * *

The way they’re sitting side by side on the bed reminded Phichit of the past. Locked room, leaning on the headboard, his head on Yuuri’s shoulder. The difference was, Yuuri was the one crying, and he wasn’t feeling frustrated towards Phichit.

His frustration mostly was due to one Victor Nikiforov, not surprisingly.

It’s always because of him, somehow.

Phichit had glared at the Russian, couldn’t help the anger over hearing that his bestfriend had been reduced to a broken mess. He knew that Yuuri being Yuuri, it could be a case of miscommunication, or Yuuri having secret mission he didn’t bother telling anyone. Still, Yuuri was his bestfriend, and people tend to want to shift the blame from their bestfriend.

Unfortunately, Victor was an idiot with people skill on par with Yuuri. Phichit was sure if he asked around, maybe the skaters Yuuri were sitting with as he watched the others’ performances, he’d be able to get testimony as proof that, yes, Victor was one big cause of this mess.

“Yuuri, you know you have to talk to him sooner or later.”

It was the night after GPF Short Program in Barcelona. Victor and Yuuri had a fight, and desperate, Victor asked for Phichit’s help. He’d heard the short version, about Yuuri wanting to retire out of the blue. About him telling Victor to return to competitive skating without consulting him first.

“Hm…”

Yuuri agreed with a hum.

“Care to tell me your version of what happened?”

“Victor is just terrible.”

Phichit’s laugh echoed.

Oh god… it’s really like back then. It’ll take a while then. Thankfully, the Men division competition isn’t on consecutive days, and Yuuri wouldn’t have to skate in his current horrible state when morning comes.

No one would see him in the horrible state. Phichit would make sure of that, just as Yuuri made sure that it didn’t happen five years ago.

Hopefully, Phichit too, could skate with peace of mind over his bestfriend in the day after tomorrow.

Phichit squeezed Yuuri’s hand comfortingly, golden band icy to his touch.

“No, he’s not. He’s an idiot, yes, and unreasonable maybe, but you know perfectly of how nice he is. You’ve been telling me that since when we’re still in Detroit, remember?”

“… yeah.”

“Try again. What happened, Yuuri?”

He felt Yuuri’s squeezing his hand back before he heard his breathing became choked sobbing.

It’s going to be a long night.

 


	8. Leap of Faith

“… hi.”

Yuuri smiled and waved an acknowledgement, and for some reason just that was enough to make Phichit’s worries disappear like sunshine erase darkness.

School had ended early, and Phichit had not been expecting Yuuri to be already in the rink since it’s barely noon and training session with Celestino wouldn’t be until four. If it’s weekend, surely it’d be filled with casual skaters (that is, the ones who’s not planning to join any competitions) but since it’s weekday, it’s empty.

“I’m going to practice my choreography. Will you… watch and tell me what you think?”

 “Sure. I’ll go change first. Though I expect to be treated Thai food as payment,” he said it as he turned towards the locker room. He noticed absentmindedly that the lock had been changed. Celestino worked fast, or maybe the request of a school of angry skater helped hasten the process.

“Yes, yes, as you wish, Your Majesty.”

Yuuri said it in hushed voice not unlike the first lines in ‘Shall We Skate’, and when Phichit turned around to stuck his tongue out at his maybe-friend, Yuuri was already bowing, chocolate eyes sparkling with rarely seen mischief and mirth.

Phichit swallowed the lump in his throat before responding with his own definitely not as convincing smile.

“Remember, only the best for Prince Phichit!”

“ _’Golden Palace’_ good?”

“Acceptable.”

Admittedly, it’s awkward.

Phichit praised Yuuri’s mental strength, because it’s hard for Phichit to act normal when their fight hadn’t been properly resolved. It’s so different from other fights Phichit had been in. No ‘forgive me’ and ‘I forgive you’ and a shake on it, but maybe it’s because he’s still a kid and Yuuri probably never had been.

Still, Yuuri was definitely trying. The change from before was obvious. He’s still not saying much, but he’d been showing Phichit more and more of his choreography. For a secretive shy introvert, it’s a lot, in Phichit’s opinion. Not in showing, he’d done it for a while since before the fight, but in actually listening to opinions and discussing on his weaknesses.

Yuuri’s never comfortable with that.

That’s why, despite the awkwardness, Phichit was satisfied.

And he decided to meet Yuuri halfway with his honest opinion, because he owed Yuuri at least that.

“Beautiful, Yuuri…”

Yet, he always started his response with it. Because really, Yuuri’s dance was the most beautiful he’d ever seen. The steps and spins were otherworldly, Yuuri always able to make his obviously difficult steps seemingly so easy to do. So natural, and in turn, the stories behind his dances were always loud and clear.

_‘A snow woman perplexed with how much warmth a lost child could give her in the middle of snowstorm… addicted and desperate, she held the child close until he lost his warmth…_

_The child ended up in the sky, and she danced with the sunlight, happy despite her aching body until her last dying breath...’_

The punchline being, Yuuri made it up himself. He always struggled at the start of a program designed by Ciao Ciao because of the lack of story. A practical being, Yuuri Katsuki was. He needed stories and emotions to dance, and if the choreographer can’t provide it to him, he’d make it himself.

Biggest reason he loved Victor Nikiforov, Phichit reasoned. The man's storytelling was on another level after all.

Most of the time, Phichit would be too entranced to the performance to notice any flaws, but Phichit too had been trying. He’d like to think he wasn’t failing too terribly in paying attention.

“Still shaky on the quad toe loop though. I think you underrotated?”

“I did… I’ll work on it. It’s so weird… I could have sworn…”

He said thoughtfully and indeed continued with jumping practices until Celestino arrived, getting chewed out because he’s not supposed to practice quads without him present.

“What about me? When can I start on practicing quads?”

“Obviously it’s after you master your triples, Phichit. Ask me again when you can do five consecutive triple axel without falling, and don’t you dare try it on your own.”

(Phichit only managed that the next year, much to his frustration)

Yuuri chewed on his lips when he heard that, like he was holding back a confession. Chocolate eyes wandering to anywhere other than Celestino’s face.

Phichit chalked it up to Yuuri refraining himself from giving tips and tricks, at least not right in front of their coaches. When Yuuri’s gaze met Phichit’s though, for some reason Phichit felt as if the older skater was begging him not to tell Celestino his dirty little secret.

Which Phichit had no idea about.

They had dinner together in Thai restaurant after practice, and Yuuri treated him as promised.

“Thank you, Phichit. For earlier.”

Phichit had assumed it’s about commenting his program.

“You exaggerate, Yuuri. Ciao Ciao would say the same thing. And maybe pay more attention and give better advice than me.”

“… hmm… true…”

Yuuri had chuckled into his iced tea.

Phichit only realized what it really meant few days later, when Yuuri stayed over and they watched Victor Nikiforov’s Exhibition for _Trophée de France_ together.

It was one of his old program, the one he danced on his early Senior years.

It had quad toe loop and quad Salchow, and for a newbie who’s only allowed to jump those months prior, it’s beyond impressive. Then again, Victor Nikiforov was a rebel who had repeatedly attempted quads even when he was still in Junior.

Matured more masculine looking body and short hair didn’t diminish his beauty, as Phichit was sure Yuuri would agree.

Blue and red bloomed against white, reminding Phichit of wounds and bruises against dying pale skin, his steps and spins fluid and graceful, jumps done seemingly effortlessly, and the apparent fragility of it was simply otherworldly.

Yuuri stared at the screen with wide eyes.

Phichit did too, for an entirely different reason.

“Uh… Yuuri?”

“Hm?”

“I think I remember seeing you skating this program or is it just… me…?”

“I did. Don’t tell Celestino though.”

Yuuri agreed, fingers idly tapping the mattress in tandem with music from Victor Nikiforov’s gold winning performance from his debut year taken to a whole new level.

“I… Uhm… I’m sorry I didn’t realize but… Yuuri, there are _quads_ in this program.”

“I’m well aware of that. Hence my request.”

It took a moment for Phichit’s brain to connect the dots.

“Holy shit you can already do Salchow too?!”

Phichit spent the night downloading Youtube videos, watching Victor Nikiforov’s performances starting from his last years in Junior. He watched, and gasped when he recognized some of them as the programs Yuuri did for fun often in the past, when he didn’t have to practice for his own program as much.

Toe loop.

Salchow.

Flip.

He turned to Yuuri. He was focusing on his own laptop screen, dark room and bright screen made his glasses seemed opaque and thus Phichit couldn’t read his expression well. Still he could imagine it. Awe and envy filling his veins, his spirit aflame.

His lips forming an excited grin.

Very Yuuri, and yet very NOT Yuuri.

“… yeah, I can do this.”

Phichit peeked Yuuri’s screen. It was showing recording of Victor Nikiforov’s newest Free Program, with quad Lutz as one of it’s component. It’s the newest quad that Victor Nikiforov showed the world he was capable doing.

“I’ll master it before next season start.”

In hindsight, Phichit should had expected it to end badly. At that moment though, he was just so awed and mystified to comment.

* * *

* * *

Phichit was admittedly too used to see Yuuri in frilly costumes, accentuating his femininity, that he couldn’t help but to praise Victor for his good taste. Well, the man had always had good taste. Yuuri’s Free costume, suit with rhinestones over low necked shirt, collarbone exposed, made him seem masculine and erotic for a change and that’s a _very good_ change.

Thumbs up. Yuuri was absolutely stunning, seemingly more natural than ever.

His costume for Exhibition though, in Phichit's honest opinion, simply seemed too good to be true. Yuuri seemed distant and unreachable, blue and silver complimenting his pale skin and jet-black hair and made him seemingly ethereal. Like spirit of a noble from that cartoon movie _Anastasia_ Phichit watched when he was little.

 _'Stammi Vicino'_ played and Yuuri started his dance, more fluid and graceful than in the viral video which had sealed the deal on Victor’s dilemma on becoming his coach or not. His melancholy burst out, affecting hundreds of people in the stadium, breathtaking.

Leo, Guang Hong, and Georgi stared in awe. They’ve seen the video, but seeing Yuuri in the flesh in prince-like costume under the spotlight was just not the same. Phichit took out his phone to take some pictures, maybe of Yuuri jumping.

As always, Phichit could see the story in Yuuri’s dance, as clear as ever.

_‘A man having lost his important thing, sensing another with similar dilemma. Come, let’s be together. Let’s soothe each of our wounds. Let’s…’_

Phichit winced after Yuuri’s first landing. Triple Lutz. The crowds went wild, but to Phichit it’s a mistake. It’s wrong. The song from Yuuri’s body hitting wrong notes, similar to his off-pitch singing. Enough to please, but Phichit knew Yuuri could do better.

He had it in video, proof that Yuuri had done better.

“Triple lutz! That was perfect!”

Guang Hong praised with face red from excitement. Chris whistled in appreciation.

The next jump was triple flip. Phichit looked away.

It’s beautiful, but wrong. There's no other word for it. Somehow off putting. Phichit gave his phone to Celestino, no longer in mood of taking picture of his bestfriend after successful image change.

“Yuuri always sells himself short, isn’t he?”

Phichit heard Victor murmured. He was leaning to the wall, a finger pressed to his lips. Phichit joined him and watched Yuuri together with the Russian, the melody bearable from knowledge that the next jumps would be done perfectly, his whole body and heart put into them.

“How attentive.”

Phichit commented as he leaned back, his hands folded in front of his chest.

“Of course. As a coach, knowing what jump my student is capable of is a given.”

Yuuri could do quad flip and lutz, Phichit knew. He’d been able to since his early years in Detroit. Phichit hadn’t told anyone, not even Celestino, not even when the secret hurt Phichit, leading to an incident in which he nearly broke his feet. 

Though Yuuri decided to stop doing those jumps after that, fearing another incident which could risk Phichit's skating career. The memory still fresh in his mind, of Yuuri breaking down from guilt and confusion over a life crisis which came crushing him down with a sudden unexpected and unwelcome hug, quite literally.

“Silly Yuuri. Always over-worrying things...”

His smile then was fond yet sad. Phichit’s feet ached as reminder of his sin.

Later, Phichit heard from Yuuri that Victor had asked him to just have fun, to not think about anything and enjoy the piece. Victor wouldn’t leave him, no matter what. Not even if he failed his every jump in Victor’s program.

“Ah.”

Phichit knew that paradoxically, it made Yuuri feel burdened. In Yuuri’s mind, Victor might as well said ‘I expect you to fall’. A part of him relaxed, feeling relieved that the idea that Yuuri chose to not do quad Lutz and flip in his Exhibition Program because of trauma due to their past had just been proven wrong.

He was simply too scared of falling to nail them.

“… yeah.”

Yuuri chuckled to his latte. Fondness, sadness, disappointment, and relief intermingle in his expression. They were in the airport, Celestino and Victor were looking at the liquor shop while Yuuri opted to wait with Phichit in Starbucks.

“Victor isn’t the best in peptalk department. He’s trying, but yeah.”

Normal people would feel better and reach their utmost potential, most likely. Not Yuuri though. Victor himself might be blaming himself already from the knowledge. Phichit decided to not chew him out this time. Yuuri's chocolate eyes were sparkling, happiness oozed from them. Yuuri himself knew that it's no one's fault, that Victor tried, and sadly the method didn't work. Simple as that.

That he's willing to try was good enough for a start.

Phichit knew that Yuuri would probably tell Victor about it later. To stop with the sappy niceties and just...

Be his unreasonable self? Phichit was not sure what Yuuri would prefer, despite willing to bet on it. He knew that it's not his business though, it's a private thing meant to be discussed only by Yuuri the athlete and Victor the coach. Even if he's Yuuri's bestfriend, he had no right to have a say in it.

“He better figure it out before Final. I want to see your glorious performance again.”

“So you don’t think my Short and Free are glorious? Rude!”

“My medal proves that they’re inferior, can’t compare to Prince Phichit’s awesomeness.”

Phichit took out his medal and kissed it mockingly, and Yuuri’s laughter filled the café with warmth.

 


	9. Motivation

Yuuri used to copy Victor Nikiforov’s programs with Yuuko.

The girl had said it herself, saying that Yuuri was the most cheerful and spirited when he’s skating Victor’s programs. Still, Yuuko was a girl and soon enough she couldn’t keep up with him. Men were expected to have more strength and thus expected to be able to jump higher, to rotate more, while women were expected to be more flexible.

When Victor started doing quads, it’s all over for Yuuko.

First she was Yuuri’s dance partner, but soon enough she was reduced to mere audience.

Takeshi wondered once, if only Yuuri wasn’t so fixated on Victor Nikiforov, he might had asked Yuuko to be his partner in pair skating. Still, his admiration was too strong for that, and despite being a shy introvert he chose to skate alone professionally in order to one day perform on the same stage as the Russian.

Because Yuuko wanted him to.

No, not really. Maybe she didn’t really want it. Maybe she just saw how Yuuri looked up to Victor, and believed with all of her pure heart that Yuuri was the greatest, and she just said it without much thought.

Yuuri wanted it, but Yuuko was the one who realized it.

Yuuri couldn’t believe that he can, but Yuuko believed him nevertheless.

Her belief spread to everyone else then, and Yuuri was not one to back away from a challenge.

“Phichit, will you watch?”

Phichit wondered how many times in the past he’d said those words to Yuuko, with his shy smile, chocolate eyes sparkling. Yuuri was hard to deny when he’s like that.

And his dance was always been so beautiful, Phichit could never refuse.

At that point he should had realized.

Even though Phichit the Thai boy wanted to be friends with Yuuri the Japanese boy (man?), Phichit the skater had started to develop admiration towards Yuuri the skater. Not as much as Yuuri admired Victor Nikiforov yet, but the feeling grew steadily with every dance he saw.

Every jump.

Every spin.

Every step.

Phichit had heard of sirens, who sang and danced so beautifully, entrancing men to their doom. Their song creeps into people’s heart, and erase all rationality. Sailors jumped from their ships and swam happily towards the rocks, towards the beautiful creatures as sinful as demons itself despite their angelic smile.

It’s in the middle of the season, and the sirens were on the loose.

Unknowing of the despair they breathed out with their song, of the seduction from their dance.

Sinful in their purity.

It’s obvious that for Yuuri Katsuki, Victor Nikiforov was as alluring as a siren. Still, at that moment he managed to endure the temptation. His focus on his own competitions enough to prevent him from practicing Victor’s program that often.

Phichit too, for now.

For now, it’s just faint buzz in his ears.

He still hadn’t realized it yet that he’d been exposed to a siren’s song.

Not enough. The choreography Celestino made for him feeling lackluster. Not enough, it’s the reason why Yuuri couldn’t consider him a friend, Phichit thought. It’s because he’s so young and unskillful and for the love of gods so blind to not even noticed the quads Yuuri had been showing him for months.

He poured himself more to practice, much to Celestino’s delight.

Most of the time, he ended up too tired for anything else afterwards, his legs felt like they’re constantly on fire.

There’s one time when Yuuri slept over, and Phichit grumpily wondered why he seemed like he hadn’t just skated from dawn to dusk. Yuuri hummed to his choreography music and settled on his sleeping bag with a sigh, hair still wet from bath. He then proceeded to take his laptop from his backpack, getting ready to continue working on his paper. Or maybe to stalk some Victor Nikiforov related articles on the side, if so Phichit wouldn’t be surprised.

Phichit groaned.

Skating, school and homework, dance class in the weekend…

Rinse and repeat, no time left for going to arcade or petshop or concerts or enjoying youth in general. It had to be unhealthy. Sometimes Phichit wondered what would happen if he didn’t like skating and Yuuri and admittedly having so much fun with the combination in America. Maybe he’d have gone mad.

He was currently close anyway, to death if not to madness.

“Why… Yuuri why…”

How could you still seem so fresh, he ended up asking in muffled Thai, since he’s trying to bury his face to his pillow. Hearing Yuuri answering him, despite in English made him felt warmer despite the cold autumn air.

“Maybe because you’re still growing. The food is more used for that, and less for energy?”

(Nope, it’s just Yuuri being a lucky bastard he was with the best body function ever known to athletes)

He took a selfie, didn’t care for once that he seemed like a dying man and posted. Captioned with ‘ _I’m in so much pain I better have maxed my exp gauge_ ’. Likes and comments never failed to make him feel better. True to his words Chris had made an account, and he commented almost immediately.

> **christophe-gc** to quote a great man, see you at worlds

Phichit went to his page, followed it and as if on autopilot went through the pictures. One of the most recent ones was a selfie of Chris wearing two medals. One gold and one silver, one from Skate America and the other from _Trophee de France_ , in which Victor won gold.

In fact, the picture before it was…

“Good news, Yuuri,” Phichit croaked with a slight smile, not that Yuuri could see it.

“Tomorrow turns out to be a holiday?”

“No news like that, so keep doing your paper, sir deadline-extensor.”

“Look who’s talking, sir procrastinator.”

Phichit threw one of his pillows at him, though it landed next to a spot within Yuuri’s reach instead with a thud, and he said a cheerful ‘thank you’ and used it to support his elbows. Phichit’s second attempt managed to hit his back, harmless. Yuuri snorted.

Lucky bastard.

“You were saying?”

Yuuri asked when Phichit could finally muster enough energy to reclaim his pillow.

“I finally found a reason for you to stop thinking about whether or not it’s necessary to make an Instagram account.”

Then he shoved his phonescreen to Yuuri’s face. More to his cheek actually.

“Victor now has an Instagram account, thanks to Chris most likely.”

In which afterwards, Yuuri immediately tried to call Chris, screamed (Celestino was out drinking hence why no one barged in holding a broom probably) when he didn’t pick up because Yuuri was too euphoric to remember something called ‘timezones’, and proceeded to make an account and squeal at the whopping three Victor Nikiforov’s casual photos which was currently the entirety of his pictures. Phichit heard in his sleepy haze that Yuuri wished Victor would get used to the awesome site (damn straight, Yuuri) and be as active as Phichit.

Needless to say, Phichit slept warmly and happily at the prospect of more Instagram follower and being thought a bit more highly by Yuuri.

* * *

* * *

It was September when Phichit realized his real worth in the world of his bestfriend, Yuuri Katsuki.

> **katsuki+yr** I won regionals \\(ovo)/
> 
> **katsuki+yr** prep 4 press conference now god I hate this so much
> 
> **katsuki+yr** I’m going to pretend the paps r not there I can’t do this
> 
> **katsuki+yr** I’m going to pretend they’re old men and women at my fams onsen
> 
> **katsuki+yr** ya that’s better than vegetables
> 
> **katsuki+yr** them seeing me stretching with victor never really bothers me while vegetables makes me think of dinner table and my whole family and I don’t want to remember that theyre watching
> 
> **katsuki+yr** without my glasses everything seems steamy and blurry ya it’ll work
> 
> **phichit+chu** yuuri r u ok???

Yuuri didn’t respond until about twelve hours later, in which he responded with an oddly worded response like ‘ _no I’m running for my suits victor wants to set me on fire help_ ’.

To be safe, he texted Yuuko to make sure Yuuri really wouldn’t be burned for god knows what.

Phichit switched his keyboard function in his cellphone and googled in Japanese, keyword Yuuri Katsuki press conference GP, and the results made him unable to do anything but to stare at his phone jaw slacked for about ten minutes.

“Oooh my god, Yuuri…”

Phichit added a new keyword to his search, Victor Nikiforov, and he proceeded to praise the gods for the quick sub provided by a rather scandalized fan of the Legend. Phichit considered himself decent in Japanese, but Yuuri tended to speak quickly and unclearly when he’s nervous, which he clearly was. Subtitle was necessary.

The comment section was a warzone between Yuuri and Victor’s fans, Phichit noted when he’s waiting for the video to load.

And then he watched the video.

And then his blood boiled and his spirit was on fire and his body suddenly brimming with energy and basically Phichit just realized what it meant to be enraged.

Or maybe jealous.

 _Yakimochi,_ Yuuko would say.

 _"... my love, that is not necessarily easy to understand feeling like romantic, more to abstract towards Victor, my family, and hometown...,"_ said Yuuri on his phonescreen.

Well, yeah. Sure, okay. Good for you Yuuri, you found out you're loved and loving people. About time, but good for you!

And then Phichit remembered.

He remembered Yuuri saying once that Yuuko was like his second sister, someone he looked up to and was so very proud of.

He remembered Yuuri joking that since Takeshi married her, it couldn't be helped, he's the big bro Yuuri never wanted.

He remembered Yuuri smiling his sweet cheerful smile, saying that meanwhile Phichit was his bestfriend.

Which apparently wasn't important, since he failed to mention that simple word on press conference.

Phitchit liked to think he kept it in well enough, not even Leo and Otabek commented anything when they met in Skate America, and they’re both had always been perceptive. Guang Hong too, sweet child like a hamster, didn’t flinch away which meant he’s cool, right? The catch being, in the end he landed fourth and then he imagined himself in Cup of China meeting both Leo and Guang Hong again and losing to them again and most likely to Chris too and maybe Georgi and Yuuri with his stupid coach which made him blind to EVERYONE like good god Takeshi at least you’re seen as abstract please shut up I’m fucking invisible to the idiot and it’s that stupid-

When Guang Hong and Leo stepped out from the ice, Phichit’s face was still his trademark cheerful face. Otabek might had realized something was off, but even if he had he didn’t say anything.

(Otabek never really said anything anyway)

After selfie session with Leo and Guang Hong, Phichit walked towards Celestino no longer smiling.

“Victor Nikiforov is going down and you’ll make me win Cup of China or so help me god I’ll post a pic of you in your hippy phase to Instagram.”

Celestino blinked once, twice, then replied with shaky voice, “yes, your highness”.


	10. Safe

Chris agreed to a skype chat the next weekend, the day that the dance studio Phichit and Yuuri came to every weekend close for scheduled maintenance of the heater (or something, Phichit was too excited for the idea of a holiday to care of the reason). He probably wanting to see Yuuri as soon as possible too. His fanatic obsession to Victor Nikiforov was quite endearing, even Phichit had to admit.

Yuuri’s flushed cheeks and easy smile was addictive to anyone, he found out. Probably because he’s normally more guarded, so the satisfaction of seeing him with happy trusting eyes were like being able to pet a skittish cat.

But Phichit would be there too, and Phichit liked Chris and him being a good listener and having this kind of weird comforting big brother vibe, and so he suggested on surprising Chris for his recently announced achievement.

“YOU GOT TO THE FINAL AGAIN CONGRATULATION!!”

“Confetti confetti!!!”

Phichit and Yuuri cheered as soon as the skype call connected, wearing birthday hats and waving around maracas that Phichit found in the house for some reason Celestino still wouldn’t disclose. Chris’s hazel eyes widened for a second before he looked down and chuckled.  When he raised his head again, Phichit swore that his eyes seemed more moist than before, faint blush painting his cheeks. His smile was wide and easy.

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

He meant it, Phichit knew.

It’s weird. Rostelecom Cup just ended, but with a gold and silver, Chris’s entry to Final was certain no matter who won. Surely lots of people have congratulated him. But he seemed truly happy that Phichit felt warm and happy too.

Maybe despite being almost six years older, Chris was the same as Phichit.

Skating took too much of his time that he simply couldn’t maintain an intimate relationship with non skaters. Maybe despite having heard the same words from others, it felt more sincere and heartfelt coming from fellow athletes. People who’d really understand the sacrifices he’d made.

Not many could understand the necessity to forgone life in general for beauty on ice. Phichit had friends in his highschool, but due to having to practice so much he didn’t think he’d find being with them as satisfying as being with Yuuri.

 (Aah, the struggle was real)

 “You don’t have real confetti?”

“Ew, no, they’re hell to clean up, Ciao Ciao will kill me for the mess. But we have fruits and yogurts!”

“Low calorie, nice.”

“Yeah, very much so. We’re eating these in your name! You’re going to GRAND PRIX FINAL! Chris, this is big! I’m so happy for you!”

Perhaps it’s not much, but Yuuri not mentioning Victor Nikiforov at all probably made Chris even happier. Thought about it or no, at least Yuuri made it as if he’s not going to ask for private pics or something.

Like, he’s really happy for Chris’s accomplishment.

At one point, Phichit might have found it so out of character for Yuuri the selfish boy with little to no concern of people’s feelings, but then again, few months ago he’d attended Phichit’s graduation ceremony and smiled and took so many pictures for Phichit and his family in Thailand with undeniable enthusiasm even though he didn’t like photography in general if the model wasn't Victor Nikiforov.

(In exchange, Phichit too in Yuuri’s graduation, and he enjoyed very much Yuuri’s family’s reaction on seeing their most prided in toga)

(Most specifically, the way they praised Phichit as the greatest photographer ever to grace planet Earth)

Yuuri’s an empathetic person in his own right, though he’s pretty selective on who he’s empathizing with.

“Where is it going to be this year, I forgot…”

Chris let out an obviously exaggerated gasp, one hand to his chest and the other to his forehead like he was swooning.

“Yuuri, just because you’re taking the season off doesn’t mean you can be inattentive to these things. How can you not know Victor’s flight schedule? Oh my, Yuuri. And you said you’re a fan.”

Sadly, even Chris knew that the only thing they had in common was their admiration towards the Russian skater. Yuuri turned pink and looked away.

Teasing Yuuri was fun too, that was undeniable for anyone. Even if Yuuri hadn’t said anything, Chris knew what Yuuri was after, most likely.

"I'm a fan, not a stalker... of course I wouldn't know..."

“I’ll gladly take candid pictures for you, Yuuri.”

“I wasn’t going to ask for that…!”

“Hmm? I’m sorry I can’t hear you quite clearly. What was that, Yuuri?”

Yuuri groaned to a pillow, mumbling incoherent Japanese that Phichit guessed could roughly translate to ‘ _god kill me now_ ’.

“… I’ll be happy to receive, nevertheless.”

“Thank you for your purchase.”

That year’s Final would be in Beijing, and despite dietary restriction they ended up talking about the deliciousness of Chinese food. Also Chris’s itinerary, and his planning for European Championship and Worlds. As expected, his days would be filled similarly with Phichit and Yuuri, skate skate skate skate club skate college work skate…

“Club? What club?”

“Oh you know, dance club, you could say.”

Yuuri squeaked and looked away, to a picture on the wall of Ciao Ciao in his glory skater days, seemingly like he wanted to not be part of the conversation. Obviously knew what Chris meant and not liking it one bit, but Phichit was too curious to care about Yuuri’s reaction. Advice from older more experienced and decorated skater was always valuable.

“Oh! I go to dance class too on most weekends with Yuuri. We’re learning breakdance now!”

“Breakdance, huh...”

“Yep, I suggested this one. Yuuri quit three of his classes already, so I want to see if he’ll like my pick. After flamenco, tango, and another try in ballet, I figured a whole different style is necessary.”

“True. It’ll be useful in the future, I’m sure. Remember to be careful though, can't have you breaking anything before you can even debut."

"Don't worry, it's not like we're trying it without professional supervision."

"I guess a load off my chest then. In fact, I have suggestion for you! Just a food for thought in case Yuuri wants to quit again. It’ll do wonder to your PCT too. It did to mine, at least! And it helps with my form too! It’s-”

“STOOOOOP!!!”

And then Yuuri grabbed the laptop and ran away with it out of Phichit’s room.

It took few moments before Phichit realized what had happened, before he screamed his demand as he ran after the taller Japanese with objectively longer legs and faster speed like he’s used to run away all the time, which he probably did.

“WHAT THE HELL YUURI HE’S ABOUT TO GIVE ME TIPS TO BETTER MY PCT GIVE ME BACK MY LAPTOP!”

He checked all rooms in the house and found the laptop on the locked bathroom. To be precise, the laptop was inside, but Yuuri wasn’t. From the tempered glass window it’s obvious.

“Yuuri!!”

Phichit turned to search the whole place upside down, but screamed in surprise instead when he found himself face to face with Yuuri. He pinned the younger smaller and definitely weaker Thai boy, one hand to the door and glasses seemingly opaque from the shadow and he’s leaning forward and Phichit could feel his hair raising and oh god Yuuri was a senior jock how could it be not obvious until -

“I’m borrowing this too. Give me a minute.”

He said, taking Phichit’s cellphone from his pocket, before running away again.

Phichit’s loud hearbeat was audible for three count before he regained his composure and screamed bloody murder again.

Phichit guessed right. Yuuri went back to his room, but kept the door locked. Phichit was about to maybe kick it open with the power of rage (probably not going to work, not gonna lie) when Yuuri’s loud voices from inside stopped him.

“Stop it Chris, Phichit is still sixteen for god sake!”

Chris’s muffled laughter then audible.

“Don’t you think it’s better to start young?”

“ _Chris_!”

A lot of moaning and groaning and finally Yuuri promised Chris a custom made merchandise of Victor Nikiforov in exchange for Chris keeping his mouth shut about the whole club business until Phichit turned twenty-one.

Enraged, Phichit banged on the door.

As expected, the wooden door wouldn’t give into the force of a small boy weighed barely 50 kilos.

About two minutes passed when Yuuri opened it.

And much to Phichit’s surprise, he hugged Phichit.

Tight.

“Wha- Yuu… Yuuri!!!”

“Don’t worry, Phichit. You’re safe now. You’re safe now…”

Phichit was too surprised to stay angry, because Yuuri was holding him and seemingly so relieved and it's weird and it might had made him blush in euphoria because he could raise the bar in his relationship gauge now, probably.

When he finally regained his laptop and cellphone again, Chris already swore to secrecy. Nothing could make him talk. Not even weeks later, after Phichit asked him daily. He grumbled in annoyance for stupid Yuuri and him being unfair and everything and Phichit’s own easiness in forgiving him with just a hug and a treat of banana smoothie but he’s mostly frustrated at Chris with his knowing and teasing smile while he’s hugging that big bolster thingy with Victor Nikiforov’s full body picture drawn on it which Yuuri must had sent him all the way to Switzerland no doubt and…

Phichit pressed **_PrtScr_** once, twice, thrice for good measure, saving pictures of that annoying smile before giving up.

* * *

* * *

Of course, when Phichit turned seventeen, he realized that Chris had wanted to recommend poledancing. That the club he frequented to was strip clubs.

Chris knew it too, that Phichit found out.

And so maybe, he put it at the back of his mind, a funny story to be told in the future.

_"Hey, do you remember that day I almost told you to go to strip club? You were sixteen, right?"_

Admittedly, it's a glorious ice-breaker.

On the banquet in Barcelona though, Phichit decided to use it against Chris.

Phichit had dragged Yuuri to the bathroom, styling his hair with gel and insisting that he kept wearing his glasses this time. Also giving him couple flutes of champagne enough to boost his courage and confidence. At the moment, the silver medalist was slow dancing with Yuri Plisetsky, who was so red either in frustration or embarrassment. Probably both. Yuuri’s strong hands held him by the waist, not letting him escape.

Serene smile, half-lidded eyes… Phichit deduced that Yuuri was already one step away from sobriety.

Chris was chatting with Minako Okukawa, and Phichit almost skipped to where he was and stole him away from the ballet instructor, promising her Chris's photos lest she fly kicked him. According to Yuuri, it wouldn't be out of character for her.

“I need a favor."

“Alright,” Chris easily replied, ever the nice guy. “What do you need?”

Phichit grinned at him, answering him as lightly as commenting that it’s a beautiful night for a party that night.

“You taking picture of Victor Nikiforov about to kiss me.”

Chris paused, blinked, glanced to his half-empty flute of champagne, swirled the liquid once, twice as if in contemplation before gulping them all in one go and answered…

“Okay, sure. For Yuuri, I take it?”

“Yep.”

The _p_ was accentuated with a pop.

Phichit took out his cellphone and searched for the picture he’d saved since he was sixteen and showed it to the Swiss man. A picture of younger him hugging a _dakimakura_ of Victor Nikiforov. Chris’s eyes got a tad bid bigger before he let out a hearty chuckle.

“To save your status as his friend.”

It’s not a secret that Chris was a fan of Victor first before he’s his friend, and a man with his level of comfort in his own sexuality would probably not be harmed much with that picture. A wink to the camera, a comment that anyone would have hots for Victor Nikiforov, and the picture would be rendered worthless, Phichit thought. Besides, Chris had more risque photos and recordings of Yuuri, which would be more damaging to Phichit's important person. He could have threaten back, easy. And yet...

“Ah, I’m being threatened. So scary.”

“Yep. Be very afraid.”

They giggled together as they glanced towards the still unknowing Russian skater slash coach.

Payback time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, related to my other fic. You know which one.


	11. Image

By some miracle, Phichit managed to convince Celestino to take him too to Japan to support Yuuri in Nationals.

“Aftewards, you’re taking me to Hamster Land.”

“Mickey is a mouse, and it’s called Disney Land.”

“Sorry, Hamtaro Land.”

“No, Phichit, there won’t be Hamtaro there. Hamtaro isn’t part of Disney franchise.”

“Whatever! I wanna play. I’m a kid and I’ve never been to a theme park and I’m sad.”

“You’re sixteen,” was the response of someone who recently just denied Phichit from hearing advice on improving his PCT score, whose excuse was ‘BECAUSE YOU’RE TOO YOUNG FOR THAT PHICHIT IT’S PRACTICALLY FELONY’.

“Yes, soon I’ll be a sadder teenager. I probably already am. Time a wasting, Yuuri! Please~?”

Yuuri said yes in the end, along with tired sounding sigh and a smile that clearly conveyed unspoken _‘what am I going to do with you’_.

To tell the truth, Celestino had planned on entrusting Phichit to another coach for a week while he’s supporting Yuuri during Nationals. There’s a coach in Ontario that Celestino knew well, and she said she didn’t mind taking in another skater for a week. Still, American Nationals was in early January, and Phichit felt bad to intrude.

In fact, he told Celestino exactly that.

“I’ve looked her up, and her student is THE Leo de la Iglesia, nice kid and awesome choreography, did you know he made them all himself? Anyway, in case you don’t know, he’s a year younger than me and this is almost certainly his last season in Junior division, are you crazy, Celestino?! The awkwardness will kill me. Let Laura focus on Leo, this is delicate timing for them.”

“You just want to go on vacation.”

“Definitely not what I said.”

“Yuuri just asked me if we can extend our stay because he wants to go to Disney Land. He’s not the one with soft spot for rodents.”

“They’re hamsters, Celestino.”

“Mickey Mouse is literally, a mouse. A talking mouse. With pants.”

“And shoes!”

“… I give up.”

Phichit felt the happiest that day, even more than when he’s celebrating his birthday or when he graduated middle school for the second time due to assimilation class.

(To be fair, highschool is kind of like a chore, so yeah)

”A warning though. It’s holiday season there, and if I have to get in line for more than an hour just to get in…”

“It’ll be just me and Yuuri, understood. Thanks, Celestino!”

So that’s the plan.

Yuuri’s costume came soon, and for Free it was frilly with white and blue coloring, reminiscing of clear sky if not snowy morning. His muscle contour not clearly visible, an image of delicacy and purity.

Phichit chewed on his lips. It didn’t really suit Yuuri. He’s beautiful, yes, but somehow image of ‘delicate’ was very difficult to connect to Yuuri. Someone who chose to go to Detroit by himself, a place where he knows no one with the sole purpose of catching up to god of ice, could never be called delicate.

That’s RPG game premise right there. Protagonists are never delicate. That’s a rule written by history makers.

(“Don’t think I don’t know what this is, Yuuri. For you to even thought of this, you can’t be as pure and innocent as everyone thought you are,” Chris had laughed while showing off his new _dakimakura_ )

The fact that they’re aesthetically pleasing stood though. And even if it didn’t fit Yuuri, it fit the image of snow woman he’s trying to emulate. He seemed to be pleased enough.

The Short program’s costume though, Yuuri was obviously dissatisfied with it. He stared at the mirror with dead-fish eyes and resigned laugh.

Black and glittery, with stripes reminiscent of cheerleader’s skirt. Not very knightly.

“… remind me to never try to design my own costume ever again.”

He said, and Phichit nodded. Yuuri was bothered enough, saying what he thought would only make him melt down.

Because they’ve been so busy with their schools, also because they’re skipping Grand Prix, Yuuri only confirmed his choices for songs and theme on October. It was only in November when he decided that he had clear image of the stories in his songs, and could describe what he wanted to Minako.

Snow woman was one of Japanese most famous demon spirit apparition thingy, and Yuuri figured asking Minako for costume design was better since she’d have similar perception as him on the demon. But Minako was unsure about the imagery for Lohengrin, so Yuuri was forced to design it on his own because Celestino couldn’t understand Yuuri’s idea of story either.

They came on early December.

Let’s just say that due to the timing and pricing, it’s impossible to ask for new costume.

“Oh yeah, Yuuri, I heard Minako usually did your make up, right? How about Nationals? Will she be there too? You’re from Kyushu region, right? Will she come to Tokyo for you?”

“Hmm… she said she will, but…”

“But?”

“I’m not sure of her schedule. She hasn’t said anything. Holiday season means customers, and I feel bad asking her or my family to leave Hasetsu to be honest…”

“So, for your make up, _if_ she’s not going, you’ll…”

Phichit leaned forward and frowned. Already not liking where it’s going. Yuuri shed off his monstrosity of Short program costume and shrugged.

“Maybe I’ll just not use make up. No one will be looking anyway.”

Sometimes, Phichit didn’t know whether to think of Yuuri. He had moments of bravery despite his shy personality, cruelty despite his kindness, and Phichit thought that in that moment, he could finally find a word most suitable to describe him.

Uncaring. He’d avoid things which made him uncomfortable and only hold into things he like. He’d ignore his troubles and always try to find the easiest way out, no matter how terrible the outcome would be.

Sometimes to the point of idiocy.

Phichit took a deep breath, laced his hands, and sighed.

“… please tell me you’re joking.”

He wasn’t.

* * *

* * *

> **katsuki+yr** costume came
> 
> **phichit+chu** pics

What came was a pic of Yuuri giving a peace sign while wearing what seemed to be cross between a suit and kimono. His ears were a bit red, but Phichit wasn’t sure if it’s due to lighting or Yuuri not used to exposed collarbone. Neck and collarbone are considered sexy to Japanese, if Phichit’s not mistaken. How cute.

He sent his selfies in his Free costume.

> **katsuki+yr** sp?
> 
> **phichit+chu** you didn’t send yours
> 
> **katsuki+yr** uh yeah about that
> 
> **katsuki+yr** for sp I decide to just use vic’s costume

Phichit was fairly certain that there’s something wrong in that, but maybe only Chris could describe it with words. He’d seen the videos of course, of Yuuri’s Short program demonstrated in Onsen on Ice. It being produced by the Victor Nikiforov meant major media coverage. Admittedly, it looked good on Yuuri.

Strong and sinful, teasing with the glimpses of skin through mesh. The teasing secret smile and body movement of the dance, Phichit recognized flamenco element in it, didn’t help.

But seriously, even if it’s a good look on Yuuri, it didn’t mean he had to reuse Victor’s old costume.

> **katsuki+yr** well officially I told my sponsors that I bought the costume from victor
> 
> **katsuki+yr** and use their money for refitting(?)
> 
> **katsuki+yr** is that the word? To have it fixed and everything so it’ll fit my body better?
> 
> **phichit+chu** not sure but go on
> 
> **phichit+chu** I don’t care about your specifics, but I am curious
> 
> **phichit+chu** I’d understand if it’s for OoI one week is just too soon
> 
> **phichit+chu** but your next comp is like months away???
> 
> **katsuki+yr** I know and I tried asking but
> 
> **katsuki+yr** victor just smiled???
> 
> **katsuki+yr** not his kind smile, his angry smile
> 
> **katsuki+yr** he’s always smiling but angry smile is obvious and kinda scary and I can’t fight that smile that is smile of a murderer I’m scared

Oh man, he’s whipped. Yuuri’s totally whipped.

Victor Nikiforov was good on him, Phichit thought with a laugh before he replied back.

> **phichit+chu** did he say something
> 
> **katsuki+yr** ya kinda he asked how I can still think I can pick my own image and
> 
> **katsuki+yr** about his choreo his costume or none at all??? And I’m too scared to ask why??
> 
> **katsuki+yr** I think he threatened yurio too? If yuuko is rite I doubt it tho
> 
> **katsuki+yr** maybe he just likes teasing but none of us can be sure
> 
> **katsuki+yr** and I’m too scared to ask Chris

Phichit was definitely going to tell Chris about this. The idea of the Victor Nikiforov thirsting for Yuuri so badly he resorted to threats was just too funny. Also, maybe it’d convince Chris to tell about what happened in Sochi.

(“I can’t tell you that yet, dear Phichit, it’ll make me break my promise to Yuuri, see,” Chris had said, and Phichit instantly knew which promise it was and admittedly he’s a bit frustrated)

Celestino refused to tell the specifics too, only saying that Yuuri got drunk.

That in itself was a very clear explanation, but god damn it, was specific details too much to ask?

Maybe Victor can tell him.

With that idea in mind, Phichit relaxed, bits of his frustration from lack of reliable witness fading slowly. Victor Nikiforov kind of owed him, with the assurance and advices he'd given the impulsive idiot. Surely he wouldn’t dare to say no to his savior.

> **phichit+chu** I can’t wait for china cup
> 
> **katsuki+yr**  i kno I miss you too

He better not.


	12. Trial and Error

If only Final wasn’t so close. Phichit would have called Chris, because the guy surely had some tips and tricks or at least some recommendations. But as it was, Final was days away and Phichit felt bad asking Chris for help.

So he didn’t, and scoured Youtube and magazines (recommended by his friends) himself.

He bought the kit himself too, and mostly practice on himself.

He remembered women around him back in Bangkok said that eyes were the most important, so he focused on that. Window to the soul, some would say. It sounded legit, because people from different cultures agreeing on it.

Conclusion, going to ER near midnight because Phichit had eye irritation because of his attempts in wearing eyeshadow and eyeliner might not be what Celestino signed up to when he decided to be proud coach of two.

The doctor on duty was laughing so hard at his face, colorful blotches against brown, bright red lipstick. Tears flowed continuously from his red left eye, so red that Celestino thought he was bleeding, the one he accidentally nicked with eyeliner. Celestino hid his face with trembling hand in shame.

One of the interns scolded Phichit because apparently his taste in color was horrible. In his defense, Phichit just wanted to learn to apply it properly, and his dark complexion made it hard to see if it’s not close to neon.

“Bronze. Bronze is good for you. Never use blue eyeliner. Unless maybe to a themed party.”

Phichit gave her a thumb up for her opinion, he thought so too, and decided after she doused his eye with water that maybe she’d not mind sharing her thought on what colors would fit a Japanese skintone. In fact, Phichit had photo of Yuuri in his costumes.  

“… wait, it’s still December, right? I thought we have to pass Christmas first to start squealing about Halloween again.”

She wasn’t a skating fan, medical students are generally too busy to have a life according to her, but she had good taste and Phichit mostly agreed with her pointers.

Yuuri was beautiful. Effortlessly beautiful.

The intern clicked her tongue, complaining about the expensive creams she had to use to stay unblemished while this boy at the peak of hormone storm that was puberty having impeccable skin, it’s just simply unfair.

“Nude all the way. Maybe use glittery ones… blue is good on this one.”

All in all, the pain was worth it.

* * *

Final passed, and Chris got silver. As expected, gold went to Victor Nikiforov.

Yuuri and Phichit immediately video called Chris as soon as he went online, practically cheering for the Swiss. He was wearing suit, sans tie and he left his first button opened. The silver medal gleamed as he twirled it around in his hand. Maybe he’s still contemplating on wearing it or not.

How envious.

One day, one day, he told himself.

“Looking good, by the way.”

“Hmhm. Banquet is about to start.”

“Aaah… sorry for bothering you then…! Bad timing?”

“No, don’t worry about it. I’m glad you two called, actually. My date is late. I’m in need of a bit cheering up.”

“Oh no…”

“Yes, boys. I’m starting to fear the possibility of being stood up.”

He sighed dramatically, one eye cracked open and lips forming a teasing smile. Phichit knew that look. That’s the face of someone who just plotted a prank, he’d known it all too well from his experience in Halloween party he was invited to last October.

Phichit had mastered that look.

“That’s horrible.”

Yuuri didn’t get it and he seemed truly worried. Phichit squinted his eyes and tried to convey his questions without words to Chris, who simply winked back. How Yuuri could miss that Chris was plotting something was beyond Phichit.

“I know. Accompany me as I wait? Can I rely on you to chew him out when he gets here?”

“Of course!”

He was considering LINEing Chris when the doorbell resounded, and Chris practically leaped off his chair.

“Excuse me, it might be him.”

And from the camera, even from the blurry video feed, there’s no mistaking that gray hair.

_“Chris, je suis désolé!”_

Yuuri squeaked in surprise and in panic slammed Phichit’s laptop monitor shut with very loud _‘bang’_. Chris being hugged was visible for only a fraction of second, making Phichit questioning himself if it really happened or not.

“…”

“…”

They stared at it for long moments in silence as if the electronic device might suddenly combust, with the way it’s beeping and the light flashing until finally with a whistle-like sound it finally stopped working. The clock was loud in Phichit’s ears.

With a sigh, he pulled the laptop to his lap and turned it on again, relieved to find it still working properly.

“Yuuri, this is my laptop.”

“Yes, I’m sorry.”

“You could have broken it.”

“… I’m sorry. I’m _so_ sorry. That was…”

Yuuri mumbled softly and quickly and suddenly went rambling in Japanese.

“さっきのは間違いなくヴィクトルの声だからつい。。。ごめん本当にごめんうああ恥ずかしかああクリスのデートはあいつええびっくりしたんだよ心はまだ準備してないんだよあああああ-”

Yuuri turned to him, chocolate eyes wide and sparkling and lips trembling, cheeks flushed and when he realized it Yuuri was already screaming into his chest. Despite it being unheard of accented French, there’s no mistaken the owner of that voice.

“… there, there.”

Phichit pat him in the back, fishing his phone out of his pocket with his other hand when he felt it vibrating. Chris just LINEd him, asking why they’re no longer online. There’s sticker of smiling cat.

> **christophe-gc** why are you offline already?
> 
> **christophe-gc** it’s hard to think up reason to get him to my room you know~ 

Phichit stopped patting Yuuri in favor of responding Chris, though the Japanese was still leaning to his chest. He’s not crying per se, just surprised. Phichit circled his arms to Yuuri’s back and put his chin on his shoulder, replying the chat in that position.

> **phichit+chu** Yuuri melt down
> 
> **phichit+chu** abort abort
> 
> **christophe-gc** aww… another time then

A winking sticker next.

> **phichit+chu** one day Chris

One day.

* * *

* * *

> **v-nikiforov** yuuri is avoiding me
> 
> **v-nikiforov** I’ve been in the rink for an hour and yuuri is never this late
> 
> **v-nikiforov** he refused to go shopping with me too yesterday
> 
> **v-nikiforov** also refused to bath together
> 
> **v-nikiforov** I don’t know what to do

Phichit woke up to the sound of LINE notification. He groaned and clicked his tongue when he found it to be Victor Nikiforov. In his haze, his five years knowing Yuuri flashed in his mind, and he typed back his reply with a yawn, not really worried because Yuuri avoiding his worries like plague wasn’t the least bit surprising. It’s just his way to deal with anxiety.

> **phichit+chu** he’ll come around
> 
> **phichit+chu** give him a week or two
> 
> **v-nikiforov** i can’t wait that long we’re running out of time
> 
> **v-nikiforov** i can handle the cold shoulder but yuuri skipping practice is just wont do
> 
> **v-nikiforov** his fs isn’t done yet
> 
> **v-nikiforov** help

Phichit sat up with a growl.

> **phichit+chu** what did u do

Victor took his time before replying.

> **v-nikiforov** I don’t know

Well, he’s dumb, so no surprise on that. Also, nothing new.

> **phichit+chu** think hard and remember ur last convo with him
> 
> **v-nikiforov** about fs??
> 
> **phichit+chu** be specific
> 
> **phichit+chu** what exactly did u tell him?

The reply came five minutes later.

> **v-nikiforov** I forgot

Right, of course. Same as last time. What was he thinking? Chris had warned him about this admittedly annoying trait of Victor Nikiforov, the one which allowed him to let slights pass. He’d mostly ignore jabs as long as he could see that he’s indeed had some blame in it, and thus forgetting it immediately. Admittedly, it helped in maintaining an image, there’s little that could shake him off, but to maintain a relationship is different matter.

> **phichit+chu** can’t help then
> 
> **phichit+chu** my advice

Phichit was halfway from typing ‘ _trap him in a locked room and demand him to say what’s wrong_ ’ when he decided to erase the sentence and typed simple order instead. Phichit was a younger kid of lesser importance to Yuuri (sad but true) so maybe he could handle it. Also, Phichit crying might had helped in calming Yuuri down. Victor was Yuuri's god and he wouldn't cry so, maybe locked room was a terrible idea. Still, they needed to talk, no other way.

> **phichit+chu** confront him
> 
> **phichit+chu** worked for me in the past
> 
> **v-nikiforov** I want to but
> 
> **v-nikiforov** are you sure?
> 
> **v-nikiforov** he doesn’t seem like he wants to talk to me
> 
> **phichit+chu** u r his coach and he is skipping practice
> 
> **phichit+chu** u r allowed 2 b mad
> 
> **phichit+chu** yuuri isn’t going to escape responsibility he doesn’t have it in him
> 
> **phichit+chu** fyi I’m blaming u
> 
> **phichit+chu** find out what ticked him off

Bangkok was two hours behind Japan, and Victor apparently decided that morning practice started at sunrise, if the clock was any indication. Phichit frowned at the scenery outside his window. It was still dark, and the usually crowded street was devoid of traffic.

Demon coach.

Ignoring the responses, Phichit slid the phone under his pillow and went back to sleep.

 


	13. Unknown Land

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, let's just say the story took place when the National is in Saitama

Japan was too beautiful to describe.

It was winter, but it wasn’t cold enough for snow. It was close to Christmas, hence the decoration and sale signs Phichit thought. Red and white, leafless trees with small lights tangled in their branches. People smiling and laughing in their secret conversation.

Only to Phichit, the boy realized with a pang in his chest.

Yuuri knew what they’re all talking about, what they’re exited about. He was born amidst these whispers, and when he lost himself in anxiety and stress, he himself spoke the strange language. He wrapped his scarf around his neck and hid his mouth behind it, earphone on under his beanie. Phichit was reminded of the first time he met Yuuri.

Somehow, he felt a bit better seeing Yuuri like that.

“Phichit, don’t separate from us.”

Yuuri warned, waiting for him with obviously forced smile, and Phichit agreed with his own.

* * *

Celestino ordered two rooms, one for him and one for Yuuri and Phichit.

Yuuri looked outside the window with unreadable eyes.

“… it changes so quickly.”

He murmured, seemingly melancholic. He took a deep shaky breath and exhaled it as a sigh.

“What is?”

“Everything. Tokyo is very different than what I remember, and it’s just been a year ago. I wonder if Hasetsu is different too.”

Bangkok too, Phichit suddenly wanted to say.

He wondered why.

Tokyo was beautiful, and enchanting. Phichit had heard so much of the temples, of the tourism spots. Shibuya was where the Hachiko statue was. Akihabara was where a lot of electronic stores and anime cafes was. Harajuku was the fashion district. Saitama, Ikebukuro, and Aoyama were worth seeing too.

Before, he wanted so badly to just drag Yuuri everywhere. For some reason, after his landing, the excitement disappeared and he could only feel frustration.

“We’ve been away from home for a long time.”

Yuuri murmured an acknowledgement. He turned to Phichit and the Thai boy found himself hating the smile Yuuri put on. He crossed the floor and sat on Phichit’s bed, cold hand bumping Phichit’s feet.

“Last year… we’re not that close yet, and Minako accompanied me instead of Celestino, but I got into Nationals. I got bronze, and… this year, everyone is expecting me to place on the podium again.”

“…”

“Easy breezy, they said,” Yuuri laughed.

Phichit decided he hated that laugh too.

“What do you think, Phichit? Do you think I’ll win easily too?”

Maybe, if Phichit was his usual self, he’d smile. He’d gush about how he loved Yuuri’s skating. How he found his steps and spins to be the most captivating of all, better than even Victor Nikiforov’s, how he always felt like he heard music when he saw his skating, how the stories he weaved had all made him breathless.

 _‘Of course, Yuuri_ ,’ he’d probably say.

He didn’t.

There’s something that he could feel constricting his lungs since he landed in Japan. People’s foreign chatter buzzed in his ears, making his head hurts. The kanji he saw everywhere didn’t help.

So instead, he shrugged.

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen the other competitor skate. I don’t even know how many you’ll go against. I can’t tell.”

Yuuri blinked as if in surprise.

Phichit hugged his knees, pulling his legs in. Yuuri’s cold touch for some reason felt wrong in his skin.

For some reason that he still couldn’t fathom, at that moment, he felt nothing but petty jealousy over Yuuri Katsuki.

“… that’s true.”

Yuuri said as he crawled to sit next to Phichit, sounding oddly pleased with the revelation. The tension that was palpable from him slowly eased.

“Hmm… I’ve never seen you competing either. This will be the first.”

Not counting the recordings from Youtube of course, but Yuuri hummed an acknowledgement nevertheless and leaned to Phichit, his head on Phichit’s back.

“You’ll watch me?”

“Of course. That’s why I’m here.”

"I thought you're here for Disney Land."

"Hmm... that too."

The weight grounded Phichit, and the comfort outweighed the frustration he felt. Phichit took a shaky breath and hid his face behind his thigh.

“I’ll tell you what I think after your score is announced. How about it?”

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

“And then, you’ll take me sightseeing.”

“… Hm. No promise on that. I’m not from Tokyo, so I don’t think I can give recommendations. I’ll definitely take you to Disney Land though. And treat you katsudon if I win.”

“What’s that?”

“Pork cutlet bowl. Bowl of rice with fried breaded pork and egg and sauce. My favorite food.”

“Sounds good.”

Yuuri chuckled. “Yes, it’s the most delicious. Nothing can beat my mother’s but… “

Yuuri’s head slid down, and he stopped talking.

Phichit raised his head to look at him, but Yuuri fell to the bed with _thump_ instead, snoring softly. His mouth was opened, faint smile visible despite it. It’s the shy smile Phichit loved so much. He hadn’t noticed that Yuuri’s pretty jet-lagged, and for some reason Phichit’s cold answer lifted a weight in him, and now he’s dead to the world.

Tentatively, Phichit placed his palm on the Japanese’s forehead, said sleeping beauty groaning and curling on himself.

So cute.

Phichit touched his own face, tracing his lips before turning to the vanity mirror on the corner of the room. He always considered himself a cheerful person, but at that moment…

He carefully removed Yuuri’s glasses, putting it the sidetable. It was cold but he took off his own jacket too. If Yuuri could survive without one, so could he. To be safe though, he rolled the comforter so Yuuri became a skater dorito thingy.

Celestino will kill him if Yuuri ended up catching cold, he thought before trying to sleep himself.

Try was the key word.

* * *

* * *

It’s admittedly racist.

Phichit hated the saying that his expressive footwork was due to his Thailand heritage. Nope, he’d learned from observing the best, and learning from and WITH the best.

Watching Yuuri, taking in Yuuri’s advice, going to classes with Yuuri.

Still, if it’s for his dream, he’d take it.

The dream had started simple, like any other skaters'.

_‘I want to get gold medals.’_

But, along the way, Phichit realized that even if it’s true, what he wanted wasn’t exactly that.

But yes, gold is definitely necessary. He needed the fame that came with the gold.

So, he did the same thing then to win, just as how in the past he observed Yuuri, he watched and rewatched and tried his best to commit the movement to his mind. Victor Nikiforov jumped, rotated, and landed with such fluid movement, seemingly effortless and Phichit knew that he’s the real deal.

The master. He’d gotten the basics down pat. That’s it, that’s the key to anything. Master the basic and originality would follow…

Just as he’d learned Yuuri’s steps, he’d learn Victor’s jumps, and he’d make it his.

The footwork, the jumps, and also the choreography.

Absorbing their essences, gaining their skills… and then create his own moves.

 “Changing both of the programs… are you serious, Phichit?”

“Yep. If not, I won’t be able to beat Leo, much less Chris or Yuuri. I need programs I can relate to even more, also I need quads. ‘ _Shall We Skate’_ and _‘Terra Incognita’_ are those.”

In Skate America, Celestino made Phichit use programs with few number of quads. In Short Program, there wasn’t any at all even. Leo too didn’t use any quads in Short Program and he only used couple quads in Free Program, but Phichit got a dose of reality. He wasn’t as good as Leo in five components. There’s no hope in his current programs. Drastic change was needed, or he’d certainly lose again.

Still, if he’s changing just about everything, he thought it’d be more efficient to just use his still unknown programs, the ones he’d been saving for the future.

Just like that commercial said, the future was already here anyway.

“Still, this late…”

“I’ve used those songs for a long time. You’ve seen me skating them almost everyday since Detroit.”

“Skating to those songs caused you to spend almost a month off.”

Phichit wished he didn’t flinch. The memory wasn’t a good one. He was having fun watching the movies, karaokeing the songs with Yuuri, that when he realized it they were already working on programs together.

Yuuri happily danced on ice, and Phichit followed.

Yuuri opened his eyes, showing Phichit his true desire, the true worth of gold. There’s no gold in ‘ _Terra Incognita’_ , but it’s alright. He didn’t really want the fame and glory, no. He just wanted to stay in that moment forever. Dancing and having fun with Yuuri and Chris and everyone else he loved, showing off the joy that he’d found on the ice.

In return, Phichit wanted to tell him. Tell Yuuri what he wanted the most, his true dream. Maybe to everyone else too, because surely with it his feelings would come across.

‘ _Shall We Skate_ ’ was created by Phichit personally for it.

And Yuuri broke down.

“I’m better now, Coach. I can do it. You know I can. I can prove it.”

And he did. He jumped five consecutive quad toe loops, and had it on camera. Celestino let him because of that.

That’s a relief. Phichit was determined to master quad Salchow before next season started, but for now, quad toe loop was all that he had. He stood in the middle of the ice, and the song played.

He could see it in his mind. Yuuri’s dance, his intricate steps bewitching him, making it impossible to look away. But those steps were too high level for Phichit, and too _Yuuri_. He remembered the street performers from his childhood, and slowly but surely transformed the steps into more comfortable sequence.

He’d let them evolve for so long, at that point no one could say they’re Yuuri’s anymore.

As for the jumps…

Yuuri jumped triple Axel first, followed by quad Lutz, saying that highest scoring jump should excite everyone so putting it at the beginning is definitely the way for Phichit, and also flip and quad double toe loop combination, then after step sequence, another combination triple flip single loop double flip...

Phichit chuckled. He really did love his flips.

Well, it’s high in base score, so no complains on that.

Still…

_‘Quad Lutz… I know better now. Triple, maybe… next, Yuuri did quad flip, and I want it to also be quad… toe loop then, what else… next should be another quad… a combination, quad-double… no change necessary…’_

Jealousy might be part of it (seriously Yuuri, would it kill you to mention your friends too??), but mostly the reason why Phichit decided to change was because he needed to win. Everyone expected him to, since he placed bronze in Four Continents. He was the third best skater in Asia, America, Africa and Oceania. When the European competitors joining the Grand Prix could be counted with one hand, it’s impossible for Phichit to not place.

“You’ll definitely win, Phichit.”

What silly cruel logic was that.

> **phichit+chu** I’m changing my programs
> 
> **katsuki+yr** seriously?? This late??
> 
> **phichit+chu** yep gotta step up my game to beat like
> 
> **phichit+chu** most of everyone in china
> 
> **phichit+chu** prepare to be razzle dazzled (=v=)d

There’s no gold in ‘ _Terra Incognita’_. But it’s alright. Phichit would personally fill it with gold to the brim.

 And then, he'll take everyone there. To his land of dream...

> **phichit+chu** u’ll watch me rite?
> 
> **katsuki+yr** of course! I can’t wait!!!

 


	14. Life

A woman literally danced her way to Yuuri and enveloped him in a hug.

“ミナコ先生。。。！”

Yuuri shrieked, and with the name he let out, Phichit recognized her as Minako Okukawa.

 “勇利！！久しぶり！今年も応援に来ました〜！!”

Minako was a seemingly young woman (when in truth she’s in her forties according to her wiki page) with endless energy and blinding smile. Phichit wondered if she’s related in someway to Yuuri, because if Yuuko and Takeshi was to be believed Yuuri’s endless stamina could only come from her.

(Also youthfulness, but Phichit would only start to wonder years later)

“ちょっと身長伸びたの？うわ、目どうしたのよ？！ちゃんと寝てないでしょう？何度も言ってるのに！!”

She sounded like Phichit’s mother when she’s lecturing Phichit about something, even though Phichit couldn’t quite catch the rapid fire Japanese. There’s only so much few hours a day dedicated to watch Hamtaro for few months could do to your Japanese.

The buzzing in Phichit’s ears was louder than ever.

The headache was so much worse. Maybe it’s because he barely slept. He couldn’t finish his breakfast either, the fish and soup tasted _wrong_ in his tongue.

(How could food be wrong? It’s either delicious, so-so, or yucky. Why _wrong_? What’s the right flavor? How stupid, how frustratingly stupid)

Phichit wondered if he caught something.

But Celestino was busy with dealing with paperwork and media, being the only foreign coach present in the competition grabbing most of the attention, and Yuuri was the star of the day. Phichit asked to be there. The least he could do was to not be a bother.

“Phichit?”

Minako turned to him, and Phichit forced himself to smile as usual.

She offered her hand to Phichit, and Phichit shook it. He tried to say, ‘ _ohayougozaimasu_ , _hajimemashite, Phichit Chulanont desu’_ and her smile widened.

“It _is_ you! Happy to finally able to talk to you face to face, Phichit. Yuuri has told me of your plan on going to Disney Land. Too bad I’d have to miss it. Promise me you’ll take photos of Yuuri? Silly boy never sent anything, we have no idea how he’s been doing in Detroit!”

Thankfully, she’s fluent in English.

“It’s very nice to see you too. Do you have Instagram?”

She didn’t, but the amount of candid photos and reluctant selfies Phichit had taken of Yuuri displayed on his account was enough to convince her to make one.

“Phichit, I’m sure Yuuko-chan has told you, but you’re really the best photographer I’ve ever have the pleasure of knowing. Yuuri actually smiled in your pics! Fabulous!”

“… I smiled in most pictures at home too, you know.”

“Have you seen your graduation pictures? Or your photo in your student ID card? I think Phichit’s pictures are the first pictures we have of you looking happy after graduation, or medal ceremony, and gods know how many of that have happened.”

“ミナコ先生。。。！Don’t exaggerate! I look fine!”

“Yes, yes, keep saying that. Anyway, do you have Instagram too? Let me follow you! Ah, but knowing you, you’d probably not update much, huh…”

Despite knowing that Minako was at least twice Yuuri’s age, Phichit knew that no one would question her if she said she’s Yuuri’s big sister. She and Yuuri gave off ‘ _sibling’_ kind of vibe too. The nosy fun cool big sister combo which was… amazing, to be honest. Like, the right side of annoying. For Yuuri.

Phichit thought he’d like Minako.

Normally.

She had appreciation for art in general. Her liking Phichit’s pictures and Yuuri and being an avid skater fan was just sweet cherry on top.

Nothing can top that.

In Detroit, he’d imagined teasing the hell out of Yuuri if he could meet Minako, to be honest. Or asking her all about small Yuuri, and about Yuuko, Takeshi, their triplets and Vicchan, or maybe about Katsuki family and their onsen.

Maybe, asking her about tips and tricks to Yuuri in general as she put on Yuuri’s make up in their dressing room. Maybe even praising the hell out of Yuuri’s improved good looks after Minako glossed his lips, accentuated his bone structure with shadows until he’s reduced to an embarrassed puddle.

But instead, Phichit just sat and watched.

Silently, out of characteristically.

He himself knew, but his mood was so bad even _acting_ normal was hard. Him knowing it perfectly of how horrible he was feeling, of how he was _being_ , didn’t help.

Yuuri glanced at him from time to time but didn’t say anything.

He finished third after Short Program, which was higher than expected to be honest. With how much he hated his visuals, the score was a pleasant surprise. Celestino’s happiness was palpable until it’s time for Free, two days after.

By that time, Phichit by contrast had become so much worse.

His headache was unbearable, everything made him nauseous, and if he could he’d rather stay in the hotel room being skater burrito. In fact, he spent most of the day after SP being exactly that, only coming out to join Yuuri and others for meal that he couldn’t even finish.

“Phichit…? Are you alright?”

Yuuri ended up asking just before his turn to skate. Phichit handed his water bottle to him and nodded.

“I’m fine, don’t worry.”

“… if you say so.”

Aah, great, of all times for him to be considerate, it had to be now…

“Yeah. I think I caught a cold, but I’m not even coughing or burning up, so…”

“It’s alright if you want to watch in the audience seat, you know?”

“No, I want to be here.”

Phichit dreaded sitting alone. He dreaded leaving Yuuri and Celestino’s side. He didn’t think he’d be able to find Minako too in the crowd. The last thing he needed was worsening his mood by being around people who he couldn’t communicate to in place where he couldn’t navigate himself. If the worse was to happen, Phichit was seriously too old to be a lost child.

“I am here to see you. I’ve said it, right?”

Yuuri’s eyes widened a bit. Celestino had given Yuuri pointers, as usual. Be confident, mostly, because Yuuri’s worst enemy was his own anxiety. What’s so special, Phichit wondered. There he was, feeling the worst ever, unable to even fake a smile, and he just couldn’t understand why not Celestino but him who could bring out a smile out of Yuuri.

Instead, it’s him with his cold words.

Minako didn’t do much, apparently having the same opinion as the intern Phichit met in the hospital few weeks before. She just colored his lips with pale gloss, brushed barely visible silvery eyeshadows on his lids, and Yuuri was even more beautiful when he’s relaxed and smiling.  

“Yeah. Thanks. I’ll be right back.”

* * *

It was said that snow women would steal your soul if you meet them. They’d lead you to the middle of snowstorm, and laugh as they wait for you to freeze over.

Yuuri glanced at him, his smile melancholic before going to spiral and jumping triple flip.

_“But, I met you. You’re so warm, and happy. Even though you know what I am already. I’ll kill you. Maybe I have. But you know that already too, don’t you?”_

_“Are you part of the ice too now? No, you belong with the sun, child. Wait for me.”_

Phichit wondered who Yuuri was thinking about when he danced the program.

Whose soul was she stealing? Was she refused to steal, maybe? Snow woman belonged in the snowstorm, forever trapped in eternal turmoil devoid of warmth. The howling wind was her music, and if she was to go to the light, she’d only die.

Snow woman danced in the cold, gaining life and love from the souls she took from her audience.

Who was it that died watching her that broke her instead? Until she decided to follow into the light?

Maybe, Phichit wasn’t the only one who was left wondering, intrigued with curiosity as to who could have melted her heart. The whole audience did too, and so were the judges. Everyone was struck speechless, only standing and screaming their euphoria after the whole program ended. Celestino was prone to praise in Italian, and yet he too barely said a thing.

Yuuri glided towards the Kiss and Cry, head tilted slightly and his smile was shy and questioning. Phichit buried his face on Yuuri’s chest, finding comfort in his body, warm from exertion.

“You were beautiful, Yuuri. There’s no other word for it.”

“… I see. Thank you.”

Phichit hugged him tighter.

* * *

* * *

Yuuri did quad flip.

Phichit nearly cried from happiness then and there. He’d missed it so much, Yuuri’s quad flip and Lutz. He hadn’t seen it for so long.

(His fault, and no reassurance could convince him otherwise)

No, he had to see Yuuri.

> **katsuki+yr** I’m making victor teaching me all his jumps
> 
> **katsuki+yr** I’ve always been bad at sal and yurio helped but
> 
> **katsuki+yr** flip and lutz
> 
> **katsuki+yr** it’s thanks to vic that I could do them again
> 
> **katsuki+yr** not perfect tho lol I fall all the time
> 
> **katsuki+yr** maybe soon

Phichit ran to the rink and he was just so relieved and happy.

Yuuri could do quad flip he liked so much again.

He could do it again.

Yuuri had finally started to move forward.

Yuuri glided towards Kiss and Cry, hands up and his face was the happiest Phichit had ever seen him in years.

How could anyone ever consider doing something they knew they’re incapable of? That’s just impossible. No one would jump from on top of building in hope to fly. There’s a story of how a cricket which had spent days in matchbox would become unable to jump ever again. Yuuri forgot… Yuuri forgot about his matchbox, and he soared…

He was beautiful. He’s the most beautiful seemingly happy like that.

Phichit stopped in his tracks, and for few long seconds, the stadium was engulfed in silence as Victor Nikiforof jumped Yuuri and very obviously kissed him in the mouth.

“… hahaha! Yuuri…”

Phichit grabbed his phone from his pocket and took pictures.

He was beautiful, there’s no other word for it. So beautiful, so happy, and everyone else thought so too, and for a moment it was as if Yuuri himself believed it too. As if he knew he was beautiful, he knew he’d captivated everyone in the stadium and…

Relief overcame Phichit, and when he realized it he was already sobbing and hiccupping into his jacket.

 

Finally…

* * *

* * *

 

_When a snow woman realized love all around her, would she die as she step into the light?_


	15. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fixed the age and mistake in timeline.  
> So you know, Phichit and Yuuri graduated middle school and highschool respectively on March the year before, age 15 and 18, they moved around August and it's currently December the year after they moved to Detroit.  
> Hence, in this story, Phichit is already 16 and Yuuri is already 20.  
> And I hope I've integrated Phichit's... struggle in America so that this turn of event isn't the least bit surprising.

Minako shoved a bag of clothes to Yuuri after the medal ceremony.

“I know, it might be too soon, but we figured we better remind you now or else you won’t do it at all,” she said in English, which meant she wanted to include Phichit in the conversation even if in the end Phichit barely said anything at all.

“… what is this?”

“Why, your hakama.”

“What for?”

“Your Coming of Age, you idiot! You’re twenty and none of us believe you’ll send back pictures for your Coming of Age ceremony in January! We’re going to Meiji Shrine in the morning and do photoshoot!”

Yuuri groaned. Phichit had no idea what they’re talking about, so he mostly stayed silent by the side. Celestino was being interviewed somewhere, Yuuri getting gold raising his fame in Japan, and Yuuri himself just finished getting interviewed.

“So that’s why you’re here…”

“Of course. This is the main reason number two. Really, Phichit, I’m so glad you managed to convince Yuuri to stay longer! Now he won’t be able to escape with flight schedule as excuse. You don’t mind taking pictures in the morning before going to Disney Land, right?”

Apparently in Japan, women and men celebrate their advancement to adulthood with ceremony in January. Apparently, despite it being busy time, Minako came to Tokyo beside to support Yuuri to make sure he at least pose in a shrine wearing hakama, to give illusion of him attending the ceremony even though there’s no way he could since he’ll be in America.

“Last time we're taking picture of you in a shrine, it was for your _Shichigosan_ wasn't it…,” Minako shuddered visibly, and Phichit made a mental note to google up _Shichigosan_ and ask her or Yuuko to show Yuuri’s supposedly terrible pictures. “Well, at least we’ll have decent picture of you passing your life milestone with Phichit here!”

Yuuri peeked inside the bag and seemed like he’d rather throw the clothes away to the nearest river.

“Can I at least wear suit?”

“Yuuri, we’ve talked about this.”

Minako sighed and shook her head as if in disbelief, making Phichit wonder exactly how many times they’ve discussed the matter of Yuuri being photographed in suits.

She stepped closer to Yuuri and pointed her perfectly manicured fingers at his chest.

“You can embarrass yourself in international television for all we care, but this is family matter and you’re going to look good in them. And no, department store bought suits isn’t at all fashionable!”

“But it’s JSF issued-”

“NOT FASHIONABLE!”

Yuuri bent back as Minako leaned forward and looking very menacing. It was thanks to their ballet training that both of them could maintain the position for about two minutes, Phichit thought. He was very impressed. In the end though, Yuuri gulped and nodded, giving up.

“O… okay.”

“Good.”

She nodded in satisfaction and pat Yuuri’s shoulder. The man just laughed resignedly.

* * *

“Minako and Celestino are at the bar. Yuuri, you’re not joining them?”

Yuuri was on his bed, sprawled out with his eyes covered with one of his hands still wearing his tracksuit. He seemed so tired. He probably was, since he’s not really a people person. More than the Program he just did, getting interviewed for hours probably tired him out more, being the introvert that he was.

He’s weird that way, wanting to win but not wanting the attention, in the sport where visual was one of the most important aspect.

“Hmm… they’re probably drinking, celebrating.”

He mumbled, followed by a yawn.

“Yeah, celebrating your win. You can drink alcohol, right? The legal age is twenty in Japan, isn’t it? Shouldn’t you join them?”

“It’s alright. I don’t really like alcohol.”

“… if you say so.”

“Mm. I’d rather be with you.”

Phichit stopped typing, updating one of his blogs with made up cheerfulness he couldn’t muster then in real life, the words from Yuuri striking a sore point. Phichit took a shaky breath and sigh.

He’s admittedly conflicted. He didn’t know what to feel about the admission.

He didn’t want to be alone, and yet he dreaded to be with anyone. Yuuri specially. He could still feel the warmth of Yuuri’s body in his skin, and his thought since months ago remained. Yuuri was the one person who felt the closest to home to Phichit, and closer still when he’s dancing on ice.

That miracle of him responding in Thai was to blame, Phichit realized.

Few days ago he would had been overjoyed with that, Phichit thought. Maybe, few hours before, after Yuuri’s Free Program, Phichit would have too.

Still, when his awe seeped out, and he remembered where he was, what he was doing, why he was there…

Remembered the last time he felt that way.

Phichit clicked his tongue. He’d realized then why he’d been jealous of Yuuri since before the competition even began, why he’d been feeling terrible since he landed in Japan. Honestly, he brought it on his own, he could have stayed in America and he wouldn’t have to feel all of it, so he really had no right to complain.

He just hoped that in America, he could feel better again.

“Phichit, I’ve told you, haven’t I?”

“…”

“I’m bad with people. If you don’t tell me, I wouldn’t know what’s wrong.”

Few days before, Phichit might have cheered from the confirmation that he’s already part of the small group of people Yuuri was able to empathize with. Instead, because he’s not really in his right mind, what he could feel was only irritation because the irrational part of him was screaming.

What’s wrong was Yuuri. Yuuri and everyone who’s speaking language he couldn’t understand clearly, reading letters he couldn’t read, and he felt deaf and mute all over again. What’s wrong was himself who thought it’d be _fun_.

“I’ve never been so scared of _not_ being asked for selfie together before. Or being teased out of my mind. Usually it’s the opposite.”

But that’s unfair, because Yuuri haven’t done anything, and he’s trying.

“I’m really fine.”

Yuuri sat up with a sigh, despite the gold he just won, his chocolate eyes seemed tired, sad, and confused.

“Didn’t you say you caught cold? Do you want some medicine?”

“No, I don’t think I need it. It’s not like I’m burning up or something.”

The sound of soft breathing and cellphone tapping filled the room, loud loud loud and it’s worsening Phichit’s headache. But, he knew it’s more to exhaustion than to actual illness. Phichit had never liked taking medicines if he could help it, and he knew they wouldn’t help this time.

“… are you mad at me?”

“No… nothing like that. I just…”

I just don’t like it here.

I just want to go home.

I’m just jealous because you _are_ home.

The words stuck on his throat.

“… I’m tired. I’m going ahead.”

He said instead and buried himself under the cover.

He heard Yuuri standing up, and he followed Yuuri’s steps until he could actually feel him standing next to his bed. He felt Yuuri’s cold hand brushing his hair and across his forehead, probably to make sure that Phichit really wasn’t feverish.

Phichit inched away from his touch.

* * *

* * *

“… what are you doing?”

Seung-Gil Lee glared at him, and Phichit just nuzzled to his neck as they watched JJ’s Short Program.

“Recharging.”

The Korean tried to fight his way out of Phichit’s grip, but he’s failing because Phichit had mastered the art of restraining someone with a hug. Yuuri was an adversary and Emil Nikola was a very good teacher.

It was February, and Phichit was in the Four Continents Championship. Seung-Gil was one of the few skaters Phichit were close to due to their same age. Even though Seung-Gil had the apparent emotional capacity of a robot, he’s not that bad.

Rather, he’s great.

So similar to Yuuri. Japanese and Korean really were not that different physically, and Seung-Gil’s specialty besides his quad loop was his steps, just like Yuuri. And he hated being around people in general, so yeah, similar enough. Yuuri was dumb and blind to the love around him, and Seung-Gil just not like being _too_ loved.

Similarly, they’d run.

Though Yuuri had stopped running from Phichit since like, four years ago.

Phichit sighed, he’s not used to the idea of competing without Yuuri in the roster, and he’s so lonely. It didn’t help that his chatroom and notifs were devoid of Yuuri’s messages. He wondered if Yuuri knew. He wondered if Yuuri cared enough to watch. If it’s him, Phichit wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t. If he's distraught because of skating, Yuuri's the type who would avoid skating like plague if he could help it. Ever the practical guy.

It's not the same. 

He missed Yuuri. He missed Yuuri's smile, his joyful laugh as he danced on the ice. 

The last time they talked was around Christmas, and Phichit wasn't even sure if Yuuri would continue skating. The past year had been bad for him, but GPF was the final straw.

Seung-Gil's breath hitched when Phichit maybe tightened his hold, he could hear Celestino's voice in his mind, repeating over and over the fact that when he returned to America, Yuuri wouldn't be there anymore.

Detroit without Yuuri...

"Get off me...!" 

Seung-Gil elbowed him in his stomach, making him tumbling backwards and breaking his line of thought, and Phichit blinked in surprise before his smile returned.

He raised his arms, beckoning the Korean closer. At that moment, he'd decided. 

He's going home.

“… I know what you wear last summer.”

Phichit said sweetly, and Seung-Gil turned even paler than ice.

 


	16. Heart

His alarm rang at around six, and outside was still pitch dark.

Detroit and Tokyo in winter was cold enough to make one’s skin dry, and so it’s discouraged to bathe often. It’d further erase the skin’s moisture, or so Phichit was told. But Phichit was from Thailand, and it’s closer to equator. He’s used to wake up sweating due to never ending heat, and bathe twice a day at the very least.

Even after Celestino lectured him about needing to save water, Phichit bathe when he could.

He’s used to have cold shower, but Phichit wasn’t that distraught and crazy. He knew that cold shower in the winter was just suicide. Still, bathing was more to calming habit to him nowadays, and it’s said often that warm shower had calming influence, which was exactly what he needed.

Yuuri was still asleep, he noticed before going into the bathroom.

He remembered the schedule for the day. At nine, they’d go to Meiji Shrine, and would probably be there until Minako could approve a satisfying photo of Yuuri in hakama before going to Maihama for Disney Land.

Phichit sighed and bumped his head to the wall, warm water washing the soreness away from his shoulders. Droplets trickling down from his dark hair, entering his eyes, and he convinced himself that what he blinked away wasn’t tears.

He wanted so much to throttle his past self. The one from the month ago, who dared to suggest such a thing. Then again, past him didn’t realize that he’s terribly homesick, unconsciously making do with Thai food, movies, and _Yuuri_.

Yuuri who responded to him (THAT ONE TIME) in Thai, who rented Thai themed movies, Thai movies even for him, who never hesitated in offering to treat him to Thai food…

Being reminded that Yuuri wasn’t the least bit connected to Thailand, and realizing that he got to go back to Japan while Phichit wouldn’t be able to return to Bangkok until unforeseeable future was simply too much.

The self-doubt that followed didn’t help.

He ended up showering longer than expected, and he shuddered when he left the bathroom. The drastic temperature difference made his hair stood.

Yuuri was still asleep.

He’s so tired, after all.

But it was almost seven, and they still had to eat breakfast first, so Phichit walked to Yuuri’s bed to wake him up. He didn’t think Yuuri would appreciate having Minako destroying the door with her kick to scream _morning_ through his skull.

“Yuuri… it’s morning.”

He tried saying, but Yuuri stayed unmoving.

Phichit considered screaming _morning_ through Yuuri’s skull.

“Come on, Yuuri…! Wake up.”

 Soft snore and a shift in position later, Phichit decided to throw the towel he’d been using to dry his hair to the floor and climbed up until he’s straddling Yuuri. He remembered how his mother would wake him up back in Bangkok, and for the first time in his life he decided to do the same to this person he currently hated more than anything.

His hair was still wet when he ran his fingers through it, the cold air helped freezing them to numbness.

Phichit remembered some American drama series about doctors, there’re often scenes of them trying to resuscitate dying patients with defibrillator. Phichit counted to three, hands raised like parody of those scenes.

“Clear,” he said before pressing both his hands to Yuuri’s cheeks.

And Yuuri _screamed_.

That felt more satisfying that Phichit thought it would.

“Phi… Phichit…?”

He felt like doing more of this. Simple harmless pranks, just enough to make Yuuri squirm and uncomfortable without doing actual damage.

“It’s late.”

It wasn’t late. It’s just seven in the morning.

Yuuri glanced to the window, his eyes wide from surprise, but when he turned slowly to meet Phichit’s gaze they’re already a bit narrowed. For a moment, he wondered if Yuuri’s mad. He seemed mad, affronted. Then again, he’s not wearing his glasses and he tended to squint without them.

“Breakfast.”

Phichit croaked, fear budding because he’s in Yuuri’s home and if Yuuri’s mad then Phichit would definitely be the one suffering.

They stared at each other for what felt like a very long time. Yuuri’s chocolate eyes baring deep into him and even though they used to feel comforting, they’re currently anything but.

It’s like he could see inside Phichit, even though it’s impossible.

Yuuri raised his hand, like he’s pointing up, his other smoothing out the mattress. Looking up, there’s nothing there. A moment later, Phichit realized that Yuuri wasn’t pointing up, he was asking for a minute while he’s searching for his phone and glasses.

Phichit was still straddling Yuuri, just watching as the Japanese tapping quite furiously on his cellphone. His face lit up when he seemingly found what he was looking for, and he put the phone down and tried to sit up by leaning on his arms with a sigh.

His chocolate eyes were stern, but understanding.

Phichit hated them.

_“Sawatdee krap, Phichit.”_

Phichit’s breathing hitched, air and words stuck in his throat and were almost painful. Yuuri tilted his head slightly, confusion clear in his face. He pulled himself until he sat up straight and searched through his phone again.

_“Sabai dee ru krap?”_

He read, then his eyes returned to Phichit’s gaze.

Phichit nodded.

“… สบายดีคร้บ.”

He repeated again. Yuuri sighed, as if in relief, but it could also be frustration because Phichit had been saying that for days now while he’s obviously not fine.

Yuuri.

It’s Yuuri.

It's weird that it's only when he heard Yuuri speaking Thai that he could remember the other things Yuuri had done for him. Maybe because it made him ask himself the question he dreaded so much to answer. Would he still like Yuuri if he'd never mention anything related to Thailand?

Yuuri who showed him secret dances, who took him to classes, who went to his graduation and happily took photos even though he hated being in a crowd and photography, who went with him to petshops, who gave him hamster pillows…

How could Phichit even forget about those things? Forgot that in Detroit, he also liked Yuuri who went along with Phichit the skater, not the Thai boy.

“ขอโทษ, Yuuri… ผมหลงทาง…”

“… mm.”

He just hummed in acknowledgement and started to rub Phichit’s arm comfortingly, the friction from shirt against skin irritating, and Phichit glared through his bangs.

“Did you even understand me?”

“Not really, no. Not on the phrase list. _Mai kao jai_.”

Yuuri smiled, his truthful answer didn’t hurt one bit and admittedly hilarious and Phichit snorted.

Interesting choice of words. It’s as if he’s saying ‘no hard feelings’.

Rolling his eyes, he answered back, “you can use English, you idiot.”

Yuuri’s laugh for once, sounded like music in his ears.

“ _Kob khun krap_  .”

“… _douitashimashite_. Though, why are you thanking me? That’s my line.”

It might be weird for some, and yet it felt right to answer in kind to Yuuri. Phichit took a shaky breath and exhaled to Yuuri’s shoulder. When he realized it, his hands already locking Yuuri in position, on his back.

“You know, if you’re still feeling bad, we can cancel everything if you want. And we can eat Thai instead of katsudon for lunch.”

“… Minako will kill us. She expects to see us at nine.”

“Celestino can take pictures. Even Minako can. You don’t have to come. We can… watch movies together? After that. I’m sure I have ‘The King and Skater’ movie file saved on my laptop.”

Phichit shook his head, feeling Yuuri shiver from the cold under him. His wet hair had icy droplets trickling down to Yuuri’s shirt, wetting it. After a squeeze, Phichit stepped down and went to get his towel.

“… no. I want… to ride rollercoaster. And see hamsters. I want… it might… screaming might help.”

“There’s no hamsters in Disney Land, Phichit. We’ve talked about this.”

“I can hope.”

“Your screaming or mine?”

“Undetermined. Most likely yours.”

Yuuri laughed as he walked to the bathroom.

“No promises,” he declared, like a challenge.

Phichit could hope.

* * *

* * *

 

Victor Nikiforov lived everywhere and nowhere.

Going through his Instagram pictures, Phichit saw more pictures of him with foreign skaters in foreign cities than of him taking selfies with his dog or family and it was always in his apartment. It’s like seeing someone who lived in the world itself, having no attachment to one particular place. 

But, it changed since he decided to move to Hasetsu.

He took so many selfies with his dog, with Yuuri, with the Katsukis and Nishigoris, and sometimes he uploaded photos of the scenery itself, and Phichit’s mental image of him changed.

Victor Nikiforov had found a place, maybe. His smile did indicate so.

Phichit decided to make sure anyway.

> **phichit+chu** can I ask a question
> 
> **phichit+chu** kinda personal
> 
> **v-nikiforov** ask away

Phichit hugged his hamtaro pillow as he typed the question currently eating him, his hamsters crawling around his bed and back.

> **phichit+chu** do you ever miss home?

The reply was a selfie of Victor lounging in what seemed to be Yuuri’s onsen house dining area. He was wearing traditional Japanese clothes which name escaped Phichit, Makkachin peeking from under the table. Minako was next to him, chugging a sake bottle, and Yuuri was seen like he’s lecturing her, trying to get her to stop drinking.

> **v-nikiforov** sometimes
> 
> **v-nikiforov** but yuuri is here

He sent another selfie. Phichit saw Georgi, Yuri Plisetsky and Mila Babicheva surrounding a low table, apparently playing monopoly. Yuuri seemed so serious, apparently shaking the dice on his hand. Makkachin chewing a toy next to Victor, who was making a peace sign.

> **v-nikiforov** hardly felt the diff

Phichit decided to not chew him out too badly for taking Yuuri further away from Phichit (two hours is a lot okay) , and not just because Yuuri forbid him to. He changed his theory on Victor. It’s not that he’d found a place, he’d found someone.

Yuuri had that effect on people.

No surprise there. It's been obvious since Cup of China last season.

> **phichit+chu** rejoice, lover boy
> 
> **phichit+chu** vic totally wouldnt mind having the wedding in hasetsu
> 
> **phichit+chu** so can I start planning ur parties mari-nee is waiting for confirmation
> 
> **katsuki+yr** PHICHITKUN WTH
> 
> **phichit+chu** perfection takes time yuuri!!

As they say, home is where your heart is, Phichit supposed.


	17. Adult and Child

The thing about All-Japan was, obviously, it’s on live TV. Everyone knew Yuuri Katsuki, the All-Japan Figure Skating champion. Well, to be fair, not everyone. Just those who watch TV and read papers and into cute young men. Basically, enough to cause commotion at the shrine famous for it’s yearly attendance number, and it’s close to New Year.

At first, Yuuri was wearing beanie and mask and also scarf beside his glasses, most of his face covered, but for aesthetic purposes of course the beanie and mask had to go. Minako dragged them to the men toilet, ignoring the screaming of what she said were ‘ _babies’_ and proceeded to order Yuuri to strip.

Yuuri desperately pushed her out of the toilet, in the end managed to convince her that as the son of a proud traditional Japanese family, wearing hakama on his own is perfectly within his capability.

But Phichit stayed, and he was the one who Yuuri first turn to for opinion.

Well, it was Japanese clothing, and Phichit felt that it’s expected that the clothing didn’t really fit his aesthetic. It’s not like Yuuri had any change anyway, so he focused on the top part of Yuuri’s body, namely his head. It’s terrible. Not that Yuuri didn’t look good, he’s beautiful as always, but Phichit knew he could seem better. He just seemed so casual and plain. _Normal_. Dark hair framing pale face, eyes darted downwards in his usual shyness behind opaque glasses…

That’s his usual unimpressive look. Coming of Age is an important event, so Phichit thought he better seemed in the most formal way possible.

“In this kind of occasion, your face should be visible. Glasses… hm… well, they tend to make you break down crying, isn’t it? Sight. _People_. Not that it’d be bad to see, but I really don’t want to stay long so, take it off.”

“… who are you and what have you done to my sweet Phichit?”

Yuuri smiled when Phichit combed his hair back with fingers slick with gel.

“That Phichit is currently in emotional distress and is trying to make do with scathing remark.”

Yuuri just laughed, sighing happily as he leaned to the touch, that Phichit couldn’t help the guilt. He’s lucky Yuuri could focus on his programs and pretty much ignored him until after Free. If he happened to lose, and Celestino and Minako found out it’s because he’s otherwise preoccupied, then there’d be hell to pay.

“But you’re right. As expected of selfie master.”

Adulthood should be faced with bravery.

Looking ahead with raised chin.

Cocky smile.

 _Bring it on_ attitude.

It must had been weird for Yuuri, a legal adult, to take advice from a barely teenaged boy like Phichit, but he seemed to take it in stride. Right is right, wrong is wrong, no matter who the wisdom came from. Yuuri was the kind of person with that belief.

So nice. It managed to even make Phichit feel giddy from praise, even if he’s mostly still in ‘ _I hate everything Japanese and that includes Yuuri Katsuki_ ’ mindset. Enough to make his lips quirked up.

“Save it for the camera, Katsuki.”

“Hm? Save what?”

He genuinely didn’t know. He’s doing it unconsciously. What wouldn’t Phichit give to know what’s on his mind then. Still…

Phichit gave him a sympathetic smile and helped him out of the toilet.

Yuuri froze in surprise.

He’s too used to the anonymity of Detroit and Hasetsu to consider that it’d be different in Tokyo after him winning gold in All-Japan.

Of course he would be recognized.

Of course people would swarm around the lone man in hakama, who happened to be the number one figure skater in Japan as of the day before to take photos.

Yuuri seemed like he’s dying. Of course he was. He’s terrible with people. Just being around a crowd could drain his mental energy. That’s people in general, people who screamed his name along with Minako who demanded him to be good for them because ‘VICTOR NIKIFOROV IS ALWAYS NICE TO HIS FANS’ obviously, made it worse. Celestino already predicted this, and opted to just leave his skaters to Minako to babysit, the bastard.

“Phichit… Get it quick and I’ll treat you to the _best_ Thai restaurant in Tokyo. Five star if necessary.”

Yuuri proposed in desperation.

It’s the combination of photography, which was something he liked, Yuuri in distress, which he just found out that he found cute, and the promise of expensive food for once that made Phichit rolled up his sleeves. He looked around the complex, ignoring the mass, looking for the perfect spot with the perfect lighting and he decided to just take picture by the front _torii_.

Phichit was sixteen and about 150 cm tall. Needless to say, he was petite, often mistaken for younger than he actually was.

One lone small boy against what seemed like hundreds of people.

Phichit took a deep breath and yelled at them to back off.

In Thai.

To be fair, he’d been under a lot of stress, and those people were too noisy and annoying to his liking. They’re not like Minako who saw that he’s obviously non-Japanese and opted to use English with him and kind in her bluntness, or Yuuri who even tried to use Thai with the help of Thai most common phrase list he found online. Some of the girls had pushed him around, using tone that he didn’t think he’d ever hear. Phichit didn’t think ‘mean girl’ was a real thing. He thought it’s just something made up for drama.

So he snapped.

Imagine a boy with exotic skin color speaking strange language, shooing people while waving around a piece of paper reminiscent of _ofuda_.

(It wasn’t _ofuda_. It was a fortune slip, _omikuji_ , which Minako helped him get. Sadly, Minako overestimated Phichit’s Japanese proficiency and Phichit had no idea what it said.)

The rabid fangirls took step backs and quieted down. The whole place quieted down. The man in uniform that were trying to maintain order stared open mouthed at Phichit, clearly didn’t expecting the development.

They’re hilarious, so Phichit took a picture with his cellphone before returning his focus on setting the SLR camera Minako bought for Yuuri. He found out that his initial assumption was right, screaming out his frustration did make him feel better. Breathing felt easier after that, at least.

“Uuuh… Phichit-kun?”

Minako hesitantly called him, probably not expecting the silent boy she’d come to associate with Phichit to explode like he was. Phichit ignored her, not bother deigning with explanation.

“Yes! Sorry for the distraction, haha! Wow, I’ve never used this kind of camera before, it’s amazing! Let’s see, let’s see… Okay, I’m set!”

Yuuri burst out laughing, and Phichit glanced at him questioningly.

_“Phom chorp khun mak mak krap.”_

He said, reading another line from his cellphone, and Phichit rolled his eyes.

“Yes, yes. I know you do. Now, come on! Give me your best, Yuuri.”

Yuuri’s Coming of Age picture was of him standing in front of a shrine gate, and different compared his previous formal photos. His hair was out of his face, and his smile was easy and relaxed, for once.

“I should have let them eat you alive,” Phichit said after waving goodbye to Minako, who was beyond satisfied. People still gave them distance, but obviously reluctant to look away from Yuuri, whom had changed back into jeans and sweaters. Maybe feeling safe in a crowd for once, he’s not wearing his beanie and mask. The hair gel still keeping his hair out of his face, and plus the glasses, he seemed sophisticated and yet casual.

“Maybe you’ll have better luck in Disney Land.”

Yuuri had the audacity to encourage Phichit, and the Thai boy punched Yuuri’s arm in retaliation as they walked towards the train station, smile on both their faces.

Spoil alert, he didn’t have better luck in Disney Land.

* * *

* * *

About a week after his first chat with Victor Nikiforov, the legendary skater meme-d to will only appear once every couple millennium asked Phichit again for another video chat.

“How’s it going?”

“It’s been great. Yuuri is working hard to lose weight. You’re right, he does still want to skate. I’m so relieved! I’d not want to force him to anything, that’s usually counter-productive.”

Victor was an easy person to talk to, Phichit observed. His simple question usually leads to answers to at least five more. Phichit pet his hamster, while his other opened up apps on his cellphone. Yuuri hadn’t said anything else since his report that he’ll use Victor to his advantage.

 _That feeling when you know more of how your bestfriend is doing through his dumb love interest_ , Phichit tweeted. Chris liked and retweeted it immediately.

> **phichit+chu** what you’ve heard from yuuri?
> 
> **christophe-gc** I haven’t yet heard of any news
> 
> **christophe-gc** about a jpn athlete asking for restraining order against a certain russian creep
> 
> **christophe-gc** I assume vic is doing great

Touché.

Looking back to his laptop screen, Phichit just realized that Victor wasn’t in his room in Yuuri’s onsen. Instead, he was sitting in a park bench, the clear starry night visible in the background. Makkachin drooling into his obviously expensive jacket.

“Okay, what’s going on? What are you hiding? Did Yuuri kick you out or something?”

“Aah, no, not really. It’s just…”

“You do know that the word ‘ _just’_ is very rarely followed by trivialities, right? I don’t think you’ll ask me if there’s nothing either.”

Victor chuckled, a puff of white mist coming out of his mouth in a long exhale of breath.

“Last week, you told me to ask around. To prove that Yuuri being all awkward isn’t actually new, and he’s usually like that at first to anyone.”

“I did,” Phichit confirmed.

“I didn’t. I decided to trust you and wait. And yes, he’d somewhat opened up. He even offered to wash my back in the hotspring yesterday.”

As expected, not long needed until Victor’s inhuman charm could affect even _the_ Yuuri Katsuki.

“Okay, that’s great, I guess.”

“Yes. I’m just from Ice Castle, however. Yuuri wasn’t just awkward, he literally ran away today. I got worried and… well, I asked around.”

“Aand…?”

Phichit made an universal ‘ _go on_ ’ motion.

“He’s bothered of something.”

No shit, Sherlock. Yuuri skated to clear his mind, to relieve his stress. It’s weird, how much he liked the devil cycle so much. He skated, and got approached by fan mob he hated so much as an introvert, stressed, skated, and so his life went on.

That guy was a masochist, seriously.

“It’s easy to bother him, yes. What happened?”

“I wonder if it’s Yurio.”

“Yurio?”

“Sorry, Mari gave him that nickname to help differentiate. Yuri Plisetsky. This year’s World Junior gold medalist? Wait, I think it’s a Grand Slam.”

Grand Slam meaning Yuri Plisetsky won gold on National, GPF, European, and World in his last year in Junior. Talk about going out with a bang. Phichit didn’t know much of Yuri Plisetsky, he didn’t quite place tabs on Junior skaters, but the name did sound familiar. Like, he’d heard it when he was still in Detroit.

He closed his eyes, trying to remember where and when and maybe who he heard the name from, and a fellow competitor, who was also in World on March came to mind.

Aah, Yuri Plisetsky. The Russian Fairy.

One of Otabek Altin’s main source of motivation. The other was his country, by the way.

Phichit made a mental note to ask Otabek for any information on Yuri Plisetsky, maybe also Yuuko, since he was in Hasetsu.

For reference.

“So what did this Yurio do to Yuuri?”

“Nothing, to be honest. Yurio is very blunt and intimidating though, like a frightened kitten. Almost all the time. Kind of cute, in my opinion, but I wonder if he’s… too much for Yuuri. I don’t usually tell people off, so I’m asking you if I need to.”

Phichit stopped typing his questions to both Otabek and Yuuko, and frowned at Victor.

“What? Only that? That wouldn’t bother Yuuri, he might even find it _adorable_!”

The Russian blinked in surprise. Phichit then realized the implication.

“Oh my god, he’s bothered and you don’t know the reason.”

For all he knew, it could be because of the Russian currently flabbergasting on his computer screen. Yuuri was easily excitable, yes, and most of the time it's not in the good way, but he's at home. Everything should be within his expectation and he should be in his most stable state. The only wild card there was the Russians, and since the other is said to have done nothing... 

Crap...

And Yuuri’s in his ‘ _I'm safe inside this silent bubble_ ’ phase. What timing. Phichit heard his hamsters scrambling off his bed, probably opting to stay away because they could sense Phichit’s darkening mood.

Victor went wide eyed, and seemingly would like to flee if he could too, like Phichit's hamsters.

And he could.

“… uh… are you sure?”

“I was sixteen once, and believe me, Yuuri is used to dealing with kids in raging hormone storm with mental instability. Give him some credit, he’s an adult and he can handle some brats. That’s beside the issue, _Nikiforov_ , what did _you_ do?”

“I… I don’t know…? I need to go-”

The connection cut off.

Phichit slammed his monitor shut in frustration.


	18. Fairy Tale

Phichit fell in love with a fur trimmed jacket he saw in Shibuya.

Yuuri stared a bit too long at Hachiko statue.

* * *

Phichit didn’t like the food in the restaurant. What he craved was the cheap food from Thai marketplace, not the fancy stuff. Sure, his brain said WHOO EXPENSIVE FOOD, but his tongue and stomach wouldn’t accept them.

Yuuri sighed with relief and suggested katsudon.

* * *

Katsudon wasn’t bad.

Phichit wasn’t going to tell Yuuri that yet though.

* * *

Disney Land was packed, as expected. Still, after one hour getting in line to enter, Phichit didn’t go straight to the attractions. Instead, he went to the giftshop.

“That’s...!! That’s what I’ve only seen in TVs! Hamster hairband!”

“Mickey Mouse hairband, Phichit.”

“THIS ONE HAS RIBBONS!”

“Yep. This one is Minnie’s. You know, his girlfriend. Or maybe… wife? They do share the same last name.”

“I want one. No wait, I want- OH MY GOD THAT’S HAMSTER CAP!! LIKE IN CINDERELLA!!”

“No, Phichit, that’s… Oh what the hell, do you want to get that one too?”

* * *

They got matching hats and bands.

They took a lot of selfies, Yuuri leaning to him and posing properly on his own accord for once.

* * *

Yuuri was apparently the type who clench his jaw and suffer silently.

Riding the thrill rides gave Phichit that knowledge, but he still quite satisfied with taking picture of Yuuri wheezing in a bench, his face paler than usual and chocolate eyes wider than ever. His face seemed moist from cold sweat.

“One more time?”

Phichit asked again with a smile.

Yuuri pouted, and he’s so cute Phichit took another picture.

* * *

“Smile to the camera, Yuuri!”

“PHICHIT WE’RE IN SPINNING CUP HOLD THE WHEEL!!”

“Thank god you’re wearing that band! Say _cheese_ , Yuuri!!”

* * *

Phichit rode the white horse in the carrousel.

Yuuri sat on the carriage behind him.

“You’re not Cinderella type of person, Yuuri.”

He fixed his glasses and raised his eyebrow, with a questioning smile responding with, “oh?”.

“Yep. You’re… I don’t know. Too _lucky_.”

“Hmm.”

“I’m serious! You’re so annoyingly lucky! More like, you have fairies on your beck and call, making everything come true!”

“I have no idea what you’re saying, Phichit. I’m just a dime-a-dozen skater. I’m no princess material.”

Said the one who just won gold on All-Japan. Grumpily, Phichit took a picture of Yuuri looking to the side, looking like he belonged in that carriage.

* * *

“握手をしてください！！”

A girl stammered, red faced, looking down. Her right hand was practically shoved to Yuuri, and Phichit absentmindedly wondered if she’s asking for a handshake. Her friends squealing behind her. Yuuri just stared and seemingly flustered.

What’s the girl thinking? Shake Yuuri’s hand, and then what? Savor ghost sensation of touch and warmth for as long as she could? Not wash her hands until next week maybe?

They’ve interrupted Yuuri and Phichit’s outings, and Yuuri had deigned them with a photo.

How much more do you need?

Maybe remembering Minako’s demands, Yuuri reached out…

Phichit grabbed his wrist.

“… eh?”

“…っな？!”

The impulsive gesture surprised Phichit too. He blinked once, twice, taking in the sight of his tanned hand holding Yuuri’s pale wrist, then his gaze shifted to the outraged girl.

Huh, Phichit thought.

He stuck his tongue out and pulled Yuuri along as he ran away.

* * *

“Are you my fairy, Phichit?”

“Of course not. I’m a prince.”

They laughed together as they looked down to scenery of theme park at night from the top of merry-go-round.

* * *

* * *

“Don’t act all coach-like this late in the game. Take me sightseeing.”

Yuuri demanded with teasing smile.

“Leave it to me.”

Phichit smiled as he gulped his water. In his periphery, he noticed Yuri Plisetsky (nicknamed Yurio by Mari- _nee_ ) eye-ing Yuuri, and on the far corner, Otabek Altin in turn was eye-ing the Fairy.

Fairy, huh.

In stories, the fairies’ duty was to make sure the princess could enjoy happy time with their prince isn’t it?

The question from years ago echoed in Phichit's mind.

'Well, Yuuri... If you want to, I guess I can be a fairy for you,' he thought with a sigh, crushing his plastic water bottle and dumping it to nearby bin.

Speaking of fairy, Yurio might be a bit troublesome.

Phichit tapped his cellphone to his lips in contemplation. In his mind, a story was forming.

Once upon a time, there’s a beautiful Sleeping Beauty. Let’s call him Yuuri.

He had fairies helping him, practically allowing him to breeze through life. He was cursed at birth with anxiety though. Long story short, a lot blessed him with good looks, luck, and love, but his curse made him unable to see it.

So sad!

But then, in his dream, he danced his way to an idiot’s heart.

The idiot Demon King! It's turning into a nightmare! His kiss dispelled part of Yuuri's curse though, and Yuuri was happy, so reluctantly the fairies gave their blessing.

Except for the Russian Fairy. He didn’t think the idiot demon was suitable for Yuuri. So he stalked them on their every date. Like, right now! He rushed out of the rink as soon as his mentor let him, no doubt to follow Yuuri and his idiot date…

Not realizing the hero yearning for him…

Phichit clapped his hand, face lit up as an idea struck him. Celestino eyed him warily.

“… what are you planning?”

“Eeh?? Nothing at all~”

He said, but maybe Celestino knew that it’s not true. He told his protégé that he’s off drinking and Phichit could do whatever as long as he made sure to come in time tomorrow. Phichit gave him a mock salute and waved him away with a cheerful ‘ _have fun_ ~’.

In the locker room though, after changing, he approached his old friend with cheerful humming.

“Otabek, can we talk?”

The Kazakh stared quizzically but nodded in the end.

Otabek Altin once trained in America with Leo, and Phichit had had joint practice with them while Yuuri was on competitions. Otabek was quiet by nature, but he’s nice and supportive. Skate America was fun because of that for Leo, Phichit supposed. Leo was closer to Otabek than Phichit was, though he was certain that the Mexican put Phichit up on the same pedestal as the Kazakh. He hit it off with the debutante from China too. Admittedly, Phichit was too preoccupied to notice, though he hoped he'd made it up in China Cup.

(Then again, maybe the fun atmosphere was what helped Leo won gold even though his number of quads was smaller than even Phichit. Maybe he should had paid attention)

Phichit could sense it since that days he spent training with Leo and Otabek. They're the same, comrades so to speak. Phichit and Otabek both wished to bring glory in the form of gold to their home country.

Also, on the matter of ‘ _Yuri’_.

Unlike Phichit who managed to bond quite well with his idol, Japan’s Yuuri Katsuki, though, Otabek couldn’t quite do it. Unlike Phichit who praised Yuuri since the first time he impressed Phichit with his skating, Otabek opted to just admire from afar.

In Russia five years before, not a word was exchanged between them.

In Worlds on March, when they surely met too, not a word.

“I need help.”

“…”

His eyes were so suspecting. Phichit was reminded of the recording of press conference after Worlds, in which frustration from once again failing to talk to the Junior’s gold medalist Yuri Plisetsky made him grumpy until even the idiotic demon king with no tact was flustered as to how to approach the usually easygoing guy.

“I need someone to distract Yurio while Yuuri and Victor is having their date.”

“… what?”

“Yurio. Ah, uhm, sorry. Yuri Plisetsky. You know, the skater you’ve idolized since you’re thirteen?”

“Explain.”

So Phichit recite the tale he’d spun, in the end adding the explanation with, “basically I don’t want him third-wheeling for once. That’s just sad, isn’t it? Oh, also! It’s about time, dude! You’re on the same level as him now! No more of that ‘ _he’s too good for me_ ’ bullshit! You won bronze at Worlds! You rank higher than him in GP! YOU’RE AMAZING! You should introduce yourself!”

“… he’s Russian.”

Was his response.

Phichit rolled his eyes.

“We’re in twenty-first century. That backward thinking doesn’t matter anymore. Look at Yuuri and Victor! Russia and Japan had Cold War? I think? I forgot. The point is, their countries aren’t in the best ties and they’re practically conjoined at the hips now. Besides, asking won’t hurt, isn’t it?”

“…”

He didn’t seem convinced. Phichit took his cellphone and searched Yurio’s fanpage, smile forming when what he’d expected indeed was happening as they spoke.

“He’s not a damsel, but he IS in distress. He might be able to handle it, but…”

Phichit showed Otabek the page, about the fans wanting to practically kidnap Yurio. Expectedly, he scowled.

“Just ask. If he says yes, take him somewhere to eat or whatever until Yuuri’s date with Victor is done. If he says no, then… then I’ll get Chris and we can go clubbing or something.”

“Fine.”

Phichit clenched his fist and fought back a cheer.

“Great! Now, hurry up before his fans eat him alive. Let’s see… Oho! I found him. Yep. He’s in an alley near Casa Batlló. Go get him! _Davai_!”

Instead of rushing, Otabek narrowed his eyes even more.

“… is he found already?”

“No, he’s still in hiding. No update yet on the page, so I'd say he's still good.”

“Then how do you know where he is?”

Phichit grinned as he put his phone back to his pocket and skipped towards the door. Otabek still stood, most likely not going to move until he got his answers. Probably he thought Phichit had ulterior motive, more than what he said.

How cruel.

Even though he’s one of the few skaters Phichit could call his old friend without hesitation.

Phichit supposed saying the truth to him would be fine. His secret in keeping tab on one of Yuuri’s currently closest people. But still, Phichit was in teasing mood. He opened the door and announced with a wink.

“Don’t you know? Google Earth is always taking pictures.”

 


	19. Secrets

The thing about winning All-Japan was that Yuuri qualified for Four Continent.

They talked about it on the plane back to Detroit.

“This year is in Osaka. Well, next year, to be exact. You know what I mean.”

Yuuri said, looking through the movie choices on the screen in front of him. He sounded almost nonchalant. Phichit felt a pang of guilt and focused on cotton candy-like cloud outside the window.

“Hmm.”

“… you’re not coming, are you?”

“No, sorry. I can’t. It’s too much for me, and it’s unfair for you.”

Yuuri deserved better than a supporter who’s too occupied with cursing him than to actually take care of him. In Nationals, they got lucky, but Phichit feared the possibility of Yuuri’s luck or his own patience running out. Maybe if it’s in another country, he’d begged Celestino again to let him come. But Japan was a bit…

Scary.

To think of it, maybe any country who don’t speak English would be.

 “I’ll watch it through TV. I’ll hack into their security cameras if necessary. I’ll have Ciao Ciao set videochat so I’ll always be able to see, worse come to worst.”

“Okay.”

Yuuri sighed and tugged his eyemask down until it’s completely covering his chocolate eyes.

“… okay.”

He said once more, his head slid down the cushion and he leaned to Phichit’s shoulder. The economy class too narrow and uncomfortable for any position to them.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. Besides, your National is close, isn’t it?”

Phichit gulped and nodded. It’s be his first competition in Senior division. A mixture of dread and excitement grew, erasing his sleepiness and making his muscles tense. Yuuri chuckled.

“Why are you nervous _now_? Your competition won’t be until few months away.”

Yuuri had won several medals in Juniors, getting gold even in International competitions. Though when he graduated to Senior, he got pushed to the background. The more experienced skater shadowed Yuuri in skill and his artistry wasn’t enough to get him to podium. Celestino still wanted him despite that, asked him again and again, and finally he accepted in his second year in Senior division.

In his third year, he finally medaled again, earning bronze at age nineteen.

This year, he got gold at age twenty.

Late-bloomer, Phichit had heard. While no one doubted that Yuuri would dominate future competitions, him only winning gold on his fourth year was still quite unique story. Most people who didn’t get gold on their first years end up fading to the background completely in three years.

The late bloomer from Japan.

That’s a telling of how stubborn Yuuri was, in case others would need more confirmation.

He’s different with Phichit, who’d never won any international competitions. Correction, never _competed_ in one. Thailand had never sent any, the number of skaters in tropical countries could be counted with one’s fingers and none had been deemed qualified for GP series or Four Continents, let alone Worlds. Celestino had scouted him, and of course, after training in America everyone would expect him to qualify, but-

Yuuri squeezed his hand.

“I can’t wait to go against you in Four Continents.”

No assurance, no expectation, no burden. Just a fact, said between friends and rivals who just wanted to dance together on the same ice. Phichit found himself smiling.

“And how do you suppose I qualify with no quads?”

“To quote a great man, ‘ _surprise them’_. Also, I can only do one quad, so... Yeah, not much difference, right?”

Phichit snorted and laughed against the cold plane wall. He turned and found Yuuri smiling his secret smile. Glancing back, Celestino was enjoying an Italian movie, Phichit could faintly hear the foreign conversation even through his earphone.

Bastard.

Yuuri could do more than one quad. He could already do Salchow and flip, and he’s already starting to practice Lutz in secret. He just chose to hide it for some reason from Celestino.

Maybe, for him to do it on critical moment, when without another quad he’d unmistakably miss the podium. In the last moment, with the extra score to boot because his stamina was just monstrous. For him to smile and say, ‘ _surprise_!’ like that insufferable idol of his.

“He’s the worst. How could you quote him of all people, Yuuri? In front of me, no less.”

“He’s not bad. Ask Chris.”

“Are you kidding me? That is biased and you know it. In Victor Nikiforov fanclub, you’re probably the president and Chris is your second in comand. In fact, I’m willing to bet money on it. Show me your fanclub ID card, _now_.”

“Hush, I’m sleeping. Good night, Phichit.”

Phichit grumbled, but leaned to Yuuri, resting his cheeks on Yuuri’s beanie.

Few minutes later, ironically in a turbulence, Phichit remembered. More like, he realized, really. The plane quaked and Yuuri’s grip on his hand tightened. His breathing hitched and he groaned against Phichit’s shoulder.

Somehow, he thought that it’s not because of the turbulence.

Somehow, he was certain that it’s Yuuri’s anxiety.

Because it’s Yuuri’s time.

His competition was closer, he’s under most scrutiny. After his win, so many more encouragement must be said, burdening him with unwanted expectation.

“… Yuuri?”

“Hmm…?”

“If you’re stressed, because of anything, you know you can always tell me right?”

“Hmm…”

“You know you can always count on me, right?”

“Hm…”

Phichit felt him nodding slightly and heaved a sigh. Feeling satisfied without having actually done anything.

About five minutes later, after the turbulence ended, Yuuri murmured sleepily before yawning.

“Say that again when you can actually tell me your woes, stupid.”

* * *

Feeling petty, Phichit took picture of Yuuri sleeping open mouthed against his shoulder. He posted it online, hashtag sassyicequeen and sleepingbeauty.

Three years later, Victor Nikiforov liked it and commented ‘ _so true_!’ with crying emojis.

* * *

* * *

Yuuri stayed silent. His sobbing had receded, but still he opted to just sit on the bed, not uttering another word.

Phichit wasn’t surprised.

He waited until about half an hour before restarting the conversation.

“Hey, Yuuri? Remember after you win your first gold in Nationals? I told you that you can count on me, and tell me anything, but you said I should... say it again, when I can tell you stuffs?”

The clock was loud, and it was twenty strokes before Phichit felt Yuuri nodding.

“I don’t think I’m ready, Yuuri.”

Phichit murmured against Yuuri’s shoulder.

“I have a dream. And, I’ve been wanting to tell you about it. But, no. Not yet.”

“… why?”

“Because, you’re stupid too, moron. Like this… this is you. You’re so stupid. You’ll definitely misunderstand and that will just turn to nightmare, I just know it.”

It’s so painful, and yet Phichit let out a laugh.

Painful painful painful, specially his eyes. His head, his chest, everything hurt and burning.

He could already imagine it.

So vividly.

Him coming to Yuuri saying he’d rather stop skating competitively, and would rather make ice shows, preferably with their good friends.

Yuuri would definitely misunderstand.

He’d probably think back to Phichit’s injured feet.

To the days Phichit spent off the ice. To him having to miss Grand Prix due to it.

He probably wouldn’t remember how much fun they had choreographing to silly songs together.

And, maybe, in this case too, it’s the same.

Phichit could already imagine, even though it's only based by bits and pieces he'd gathered from Victor and past conversations with everyone else.

Yuuri had been in Senior division for seven years, and yet in the many competitions he participated in, not even once he ever skated against Victor Nikiforov.

Their first meeting was in GPF Sochi.

It’s a miracle really. Slim odds. Chance. Fate. It’s weird, that.

That’s why, to Victor Nikiforov, Grand Prix must had been special.

It’s his new beginning, and of course, ever the diva, he wanted to end it with another bang.

It’s also the event which broke Yuuri. Of course Victor would want to overwrite the nightmare from Yuuri’s mind, ever the nice guy. Make it special for Yuuri too. Of course, Yuuri would misunderstand. Of course of course…

Yuuri was _Yuuri_.

Eight months really wasn’t enough. Phichit could barely say anything, and he’d known Yuuri for five years.

Yuuri needed grounding. A certainty. Comfort.

He’s falling and falling and he shouldn’t had to have _glass_ as his landing, the way down would still be hauntingly clear and Yuuri still thought he’s still floating and it _hurts_.

Maybe this wouldn’t have happened if the idiot would just make a goddamn contract about their coaching arrangement.

Spell it word by word, letter by letter in Russian, English and Japanese if necessary. Black against white, certain and clear beyond doubt.

“Remember two years ago? We went to… I forgot. We went to a shrine together. You taught me about your customs. We hung empty _ema_ s together. You said, we shouldn’t tell our wish. They will not come out right if we do. We should just pay our dues and believe.”

Phichit’s hand shook a bit. His head was painful. He wondered if Yuuri noticed. He wondered if Celestino will let him off tomorrow.

“Yuuri, Victor Nikiforov… I’ve told you, right? He’s an insufferable idiot who’ve given me headache since before I could even met him. He’s annoying, he’s tactless, and above all he’s a moron.”

“… you really hate him, do you?”

Phichit could almost hear the amusement in it, and the pain lessened a bit with a huff.

“Of course I hate him, Yuuri. He’s the reason I almost lost you. Multiple times.”

“… I’m not going anywhere.”

“Says someone who ignored me after Sochi for four months.”

Yuuri’s hand trembled in Phichit’s grasp, and he murmured an apology. Phichit squeezed his hand and sighed.

“It’s okay, Yuuri. I understand. I know you. Like it or not, Victor is the reason you’re _you_ , and you're _here_ and I… I can live with that.”

Phichit took a deep breath in attempt to clear his head.

“Yuuri, I’ve been trying to tell you since we’re in Detroit, he’s nothing special, but you know what, for now, I’ll say the exact opposite. He’s a god on ice, Victor Nikiforov. And I’ll… I’ll throw coins at him next time I see him, and I’ll clap and bow and fucking pray while I’m at it.”

He glanced up to Yuuri’s face. Both of them have let bits of frustrations out in tears and snot, and admittedly Yuuri was so cute. Phichit had always liked seeing him in distress, feeling Yuuri’s trust the most during that time.

“… you don’t have to say anything. Rather, don’t. Just… don’t. It won’t come out right, Yuuri. You know, don’t you? That’s how it is with gods. You taught me that. Dance your way to his heart like _kagura_ , have some alcohol. If there’s no _amazake_ , we can drink champagne instead, and pole dancing works the best with him or so I’ve been told but your Free will do just fine as well I think, and just… believe him, Yuuri. You've done it last year, you did it again in China, so do it again and it'll work, promise.”

But Yuuri’s beautiful smile was the one thing Phichit liked the most.

Small smile like the one finally cracked through his despaired face.

Yuuri murmured in agreement few minutes later.

“I’ll… I’ll try. And I’ll wait… For the next… I’ll trust him… you... but, I need… I can’t not see him on ice again, Phichit… I’m not… ready… for that…”

Me too, Phichit wanted to say.

I can’t not see you again.

I’m not ready to lose you too.

Phichit didn’t say any of that, deciding to just closed his eyes and basked in the moment.

"Okay..."


	20. Call

Middle of January, Yuuri went back to Osaka with Celestino.

Phichit was entrusted to another coach to help his preparation for Thailand Nationals.

Not Laura, she’s also going to Osaka with Leo. Miranda was stern and kind and helpful. Phichit felt his triple axels getting cleaner after a week with her.

Not on Yuuri’s level but…

Phichit stopped skating, looked down to his skates and sighed.

Well, that’s one less worry to think about.

* * *

Craving katsudon was one of the worst feelings Phichit had ever had the misfortune of feeling. Second only to realizing that he’s homesick.

It’s very high in calorie, and it’s hard to find. Katsudon isn’t as famous as sushi or ramen. Which means it’s more expensive. Also, he had to ride far away on his own.

Phichit frowned at his bowl.

He didn’t remember it tasting this weird in Japan.

Americans. They couldn’t even copy things right.

* * *

If he came early, there’d be Yuuri dancing.

He’d smile and wave and ask, “ _will you watch me_?”.

And Phichit would nod enthusiastically and suggest where they should eat dinner later on together.

Sometimes they’d stop by petshops or arcades or rental place or movies and just chill.

On the weekends, they’d go together to dance classes.

Close to competitions, on most nights Yuuri would stay over.

Phichit raised his hands and hit his cheeks hard.

“Focus.”

He closed his eyes and saw Yuuri dancing. He could hear Yuuri’s music. Not the background music from the player, but the one his body sung as he moved.

He winced when he remembered who made those programs, and tried to find his mind, body, and heart could accept easier.

_The snow woman who danced under the light to be with the child she came to love…_

_The child who loved the ice too much…_

Phichit bowed to invisible audience.

* * *

“Congratulation for getting silver in Europe and another placement in Worlds.”

Chris blinked. He leaned forward, squinted, then burst out laughing.

“Please don’t say anything.”

“Oh, my poor friend. You have it bad, isn’t it?”

Chris looked like he’d give Phichit a hug if only he wasn’t halfway across the world. He wasn’t in his room, but a hotel room, still wearing bathrobe. Hungary, if Phichit’s not mistaken. No time difference with Switzerland, and Phichit could call him without having to worry about disturbing him much.

Fourteen hours between Detroit and Japan was just too much, however.

“… I drank _green tea_ for once. It’s… weird.”

“Hmm.”

“Not as good as Ceylon, but not _that_ bad. Still, it’s weird.”

“Yes, yes.”

“Katsudon too, tasted weird.”

“Certainly.”

“I miss Yuuri, Chris.”

“I know, Phichit. I see you’ve started nesting there.”

Phichit looked back to his assorted pillows, a jacket Yuuri accidentally left behind draping one of them and the souvenirs he got from Disney Land littering the bed, turned back to Chris and nodded.

On one hand, it’s relieving that his frustration towards Yuuri, the irrational ones, did indeed disappear in America, to the point of him wondering how he could hate Yuuri in the first place. On second hand, experiencing homesickness again because of association he had of Yuuri and home was simply annoying. The immediate swing was frustrating and confusing.

(And no, sadly Phichit still didn’t understand Chris’s joke)

* * *

The day after Europe ended, Four Continents began.

Phichit timed it carefully. He’d checked the schedule and calculated the time difference to know when the competition would start. Fourteen hours was a lot. He said good bye to Chris after a pathetic display of himself screaming to his hamtaro pillow, then made sure that his alarms were all set and working.

> **phichit+chu** good morning!

He was halfway writing the second message when his phone rang. He shrieked, the phone got thrown and bounced few times on the bed before laying screen down. He answered it without thinking, without checking who it was from, with a squeak.

“Ye-yes?! Hello?”

_ “ _ _ ピチットくん？  _ Sawasdee krap _”_

It took a few seconds before Phichit realize that the other person was saying his name. The accent was weird to his ear, but not unwelcome. He was dumbstruck though, realizing the addition.

_ “Ah… sorry. I’m too used to Japan this past week, I swear I’m forgetting English bit by bit. _ _I… uhm…“_

“Thank god.”

_ “… what?” _

“I’m glad I’m not _chan_ kind of person in your mind, Yuuri.”

Japanese use honorifics sometimes, he knew. Phichit offered to call Yuuri with respectable ‘senpai’ but he’d refused. It’s a nice surprise to know though. Apparently Yuuri had used honorific when he’s thinking of Phichit, only not letting it out when he’s speaking English.

 _Chan_ was for children, or girls who you’re very close to. Like Yuuko was Yuu- _chan_ for Yuuri, or Yuuko- _chan_ for Minako. Yuuri’s big sister Mari was Mari- _neechan_.

Suddenly there’s a nagging feeling that he’s forgetting something here, but Phichit decided to ignore it for now.

_ “Well, you’re not… you know, THAT small. Wait, maybe you are… I MEAN… like, young! Yeah, you’re not… I mean, highschool-” _

“Yuuri.”

_ “Shutting up now.” _

Phichit chuckled. He opened a new tab on his browser and googled the competitor list and their numbers, just to estimate when Yuuri’s turn would be. Phichit could imagine Yuuri chewing his lower lip, tugging his jacket in nervousness and anxiousness.

“The livestream seems to be working. Now, let’s see let’s- Ouch… really, Yuuri? Of all number you got to pick number _one_?”

_ “I’m panicking and you’re not helping.” _

Ah, it’s really because of that.

Maybe this time Minako couldn’t make it. Aah, the good feeling of being needed and wanted.

“But this is good! I can sleep earlier than expected.”

_ “That’s the one you- Wait, that’s right, timezones! I forgot! What time is it there, oh my god?! Go to sleep!” _

“Well yeah, I plan to as soon as I watch your SP.”

_ “Sleeeep!!!” _

“Yuuri, I know I need my sleep, but I’m not a baby and I won’t miss your programs for anything.”

_ “… you won’t miss much, you’ve seen me at Nationals.” _

“Well, I forgot all about them already. I need you to show me again, Yuuri.”

Yuuri stayed quiet as Phichit typed some things on his laptop, deciding to upload a particular candid he liked of Yuuri, of him dancing and jumping playfully to _Caramelldansen_ on breaktime during dance class.

Hashtag lifegoal katsukiyuuri 4ccfav.

“I found a good katsudon place, by the way. It can’t compare to the one we ate in Japan, and undoubtedly your mom’s, but yeah. Good enough, I guess.”

_ “Wow.” _

“Yep. We’ll eat there when you get back here, alright?”

Another photo of Yuuri skating to one of Victor Nikiforov’s past programs. He’s always seemed the happiest dancing to it, damn it.

Hashtag katsukiyuuri 4ccfav.

_ “...I only eat katsudon when I get to podium, you know.” _

Phichit let a beat passed in silence. He could feel his lips curling up, and the imagination of Yuuri’s face was heartwarming to say the least. Specially when he heard Yuuri giggling from the other end.

“You were saying?”

_ “Make that reservation.” _

“Okey dokey. Oh by the way, you have more money from your win so, your treat, right?”

* * *

* * *

> **katsuki+yr** phichitkun
> 
> **katsuki+yr** can I call you

Phichit did as soon as he read the SOS message. He thanked the gods for free wifi, even though Thailand’s connection was not as great as Detroit’s. He’d had terrible feelings since before. He’d chalked it up to anxiety from being so close and yet not yet reaching the certainty of qualifying for Finals, but maybe there’s more to it.

Yuuri alone in Victor’s home turf, of course. What did he expect?

“Talk to me.”

_ “… I just finished practice.” _

“Yeah. It’s not on stream though, sorry.”

_ “No, it’s alright. I didn’t expect you to even be watching.” _

“Of course I’m watching. I won’t miss your programs for anything.”

_ “You’ve seen me at China, you won’t miss much.” _

“Well, I forgot already. I need you to show me again.”

A sigh.

“Show me you’re fine, Yuuri.”

Few moments later, Yuuri laughed brokenly. Phichit heard him taking a deep breath and exhaling loudly. Dull thud. He could imagine Yuuri banging his head to a wall, looking up to the ceiling. Biting his lips because that’s what he usually did when frustrated.

_ “… Victor left. Have you heard?” _

“Yeah. It’s all over social media. You made him go because his dog is dying.”

_ “That’s… well, Makkachin is not… I think it’s not that-” _

“Yuuri, if it’s not that important, I’ll book flight to Japan and kick you and your idiot coach’s butt myself.”

_ “… sorry.” _

“Why are you apologizing to me…”

Love could make people strong. But Phichit knew. Love was like drug. Suddenly deprived you of it, and you could die from rebound phenomena, when everything was just worst.

Wonderdrug.

He remembered the medical intern (dermatologist now) Phichit befriended in Detroit telling him about those things, about why it’s bad idea to treat acnes with corticosteroid cream. It’d just be redder and uglier when the cream is stopped.

Yuuri was on his ugliest then, because Victor left.

Addicted, dependent…

God, how Phichit hated that kind of relationship.

(But then again, when had Yuuri not been addicted and dependent on Victor Nikiforov?)

“… Yuuri.”

_ “Yeah.” _

“Have you called him?”

_ “I don’t think it’ll do my anxiety good, so no.” _

“… alright, I’ll trust you on that.”

_ “Hmm.” _

Phichit grinded his teeth in worry. He honestly thought the opposite would do better good, but he’s not Yuuri, and Yuuri would know better of his own mental health.

At least he hoped so.

“Eating Spanish in Spain sounds good, don’t you think?”

Phichit breathed out after few long seconds of silence.

He honestly had no idea what to say, what Yuuri expected to hear from him at such situation.

In the past too, now that he thought about it, Phichit had never had an idea, probably.

God, why did Yuuri think that calling him would help? What had he ever done?

“… Chris recommended a good restaurant near Sagrada Familia. The paella is to die for, he said. Let’s meet up later there, alright?”

_ “…” _

“Yuuri. Let’s. Alright?”

_ “Hmm.” _

“Okay. Go get them, tiger.”

Yuuri laughed a little, painful sounding laugh that Phichit found heartwreching, and he worried.

_ “I’m not Yurio… but thanks. I’ll see… no, I’ll talk to you later, Phichit-kun.” _

Yuuri cut the connection before Phichit could make him promise.


	21. Katsudon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you say anything…
> 
> Tell me when you’ve seen Yuuri stress eat, because what I remember is him not eating at all when he’s stumped on Eros concept, refusing Victor’s invitation when he’s miffed about no lovers comment, just watching Victor eat in China, and only asking for food after Victor accepted his ring in Barcelona.

Bronze.

Yuuri Katsuki got bronze on his first Four Continents Championship.

“YOU’RE AMAZING!!”

“… ehehe, thank you.”

Fire still burned in his eyes. Dissatisfaction? Maybe that was it. Fuel for the next competitions. He’s closer to his goal, his dream. The worst human being on the planet, Victor Nikiforov. Full of determination.

(It’s very easy to cheer for Yuuri to achieve his dream, even when Phichit was being irrational and hated his guts, when imagining Victor getting stared at by Yuuri from higher podium was part of the deal)

That was end of January. When February came, the fire in his eyes were already reduced to dim ember.

Phichit thought that he found food the most delicious when he’s eating with Yuuri.

He realized on February that it’s only true when Yuuri was also eating.

“Yuuri, you can’t do this to yourself.”

“… do what?”

“THIS! Stress starving thing. It’s bad for your skin. My friend Mack told me. She’s a doctor.”

Many would think that Yuuri Katsuki stress eat a lot, but the truth was he’s the opposite. His fattens easily, true, but his self control was good enough for it to never be a problem. Added that he work out on daily basis, he was more to the lean side even.

Phichit didn’t know who made the rule for Yuuri to only eat his comfort food when he gets to podium. He suspected Minako. Maybe the woman had good intention. But it’s just ridiculous. Yuuri tended to ignore food when he’s stressed or busy.

Since Yuuri had anxiety and prone to panic, he missed meals often.

Considering Yuuri was chubby when he was small, maybe he was a happy not anxious child. But well, puberty could be a bitch, Phichit knew.

Or at least, he knew from all he’d read online. Phichit wasn’t sure he’d hit his yet. Or even if he’d hit puberty at all. He’s almost seventeen. There should be certainty to those things, Mack’s words that he’s probably just a latebloomer wasn’t the least bit informative.

It’s February, and Phichit thought he hadn’t seen Yuuri eat for days. In their dinner or lunch together, Phichit seemed to only remember Yuuri drinking tea. That day too, he watched worriedly as the Japanese just smiled with dark chocolate eyes, his pho was untouched.

“I'm not...?”

Phichit couldn’t take it anymore.

“Yuuri, it’s not your fault! You won Nationals! You placed in podium on Four Continents! It’s just JSF being stupid with their decision!”

“… ah, well, not really, I mean… It’s clearly because I’m like, not as experienced, and good enough and… maybe Nationals and Four Continents were flu-“

“THEY’RE STUPID!”

Phichit insisted, slamming down the table. The other customers glanced at them. Yuuri was too depressed to even care.

In case it wasn’t clear, the roster for Worlds was just uploaded, and despite winning bronze in Four Continents Championship, Yuuri wasn’t one of two who were picked by JSF to represent Japan.

In the silence which followed, Phichit heard whispers.

Winning Four Continents meant International media coverage. Yuuri’s face had appeared on the news. Them misunderstanding the situation would be the last thing anybody wanted to happen.

Phichit made Yuuri pay for the bills and practically pulled him away. He didn’t care if Yuuri’s not bringing anything. He’s staying over. Let back to his dorm would mean no guarantee of Yuuri eating anything.

“Not on my watch.”

“… uh… Phichit-kun…?”

“You’re staying over indefinitely. I don’t care! You’re staying until I can trust you to eat properly again!”

Yuuri blinked confusedly.

“I’m… eating… properly? I’m watching my calorie intake, careful not to eat more-“

“Correction, you barely eat. What you need watching is whether you’ve fulfilled your required intake or not!”

Or maybe, at his current state, screw it.

Anything would do, as long as Yuuri could eat it.

He then remembered how happy Yuuri had seemed eating katsudon, both in Japan and in Detroit before Worlds roster was uploaded.

Phichit changed direction to the katsudon restaurant, ‘ _Katsuya’_. Ciao Ciao wouldn’t mind the extra calorie and credit card usage, he thought. It’s for the sake of his star skater after all.

If he did, Phichit was sure he could convince the Italian anyway. He had taken a photo of Celestino using facemask and curlers. Surely he’d not want it uploaded to Instagram or Touchbook.

“Why are we going to ‘ _Katsuya’_? We’ve just eaten…!”

“Change of plan. We’re screwing Ciao Ciao’s diet plan. Desperate times call for desperate measures, Yuuri. We’re not leaving until I see you finish a bowl of katsudon. _Ojii-san!_ _Hitotsu onegaishimasu!_ ”

Phichit ordered before Yuuri could refuse, and in no time at all they’re seated in the corner with one steaming hot katsudon on the table. Phichit made sure to make Yuuri sit against the wall, preventing his escape. He glared at the older man, and pointed at the bowl in front of him.

“Eat.”

Yuuri seemed like he’d just been told to eat dirt.

“… but I…”

“Yuuri, you’re eating this or we’re not going anywhere. I don’t care even if Ciao Ciao called looking for us.”

“I can’t, Phichit-kun…! Minako will-”

“Screw Minako! I… look, Yuuri. I won’t force you to eat it if I am sure that you have eaten. You didn’t finish your pho earlier. This can’t count as your second portion! Not when I’m not even sure you’ve had breakfast! You can hurt yourself later if you insist on practicing!”

“…”

Yuuri stubbornly folded his hands.

Phichit sighed.

“… come on, Yuuri. Work with me here.”

“Minako said… I can only eat this if a goal is met, for celebration only, and… my goals lately are all competition related. I’ve eaten my fill after Four Continents. I can’t now.”

The words repeated itself inside Phichit’s mind. His mind run in three languages, English, Thai and broken Japanese in attempt of finding loophole in that statement. Phichit knew he wasn’t a particularly bright child, and he could be slow at times, but surely…

“I can jump triple Axels five times consecutively now. Ciao Ciao agreed to start teaching me quad toe loop after my Nationals.”

It’s a long shot.

“That’s… that’s great! Phichit-kun, finally! That’s-“

“Yeah. It’s one goal met. Are you happy for me, Yuuri?”

“Of course I am! This is big! Did Miranda help-”

Phichit cut him again.

“Then, will you celebrate for me, Yuuri? For Chris too, he did win silver in Europe. Hell, even for that Victor too. He got gold, right? And maybe for when they won GPF? Will you eat your fill now?”

Yuuri visibly flinched. He looked straight to Phichit’s stern gaze, down at the steaming katsudon, then back at Phichit again.

“Please, Yuuri. For me?”

Yuuri took the chopsticks with trembling hands.

* * *

* * *

When Phichit saw the video of Yuuri skating to ‘ _Stay Close to Me_ ’, he noticed that Yuuri had gotten chubbier. Even though he was glad that there’s a possibility of him not retiring after the shock that happened in GPF Sochi, Phichit’s main joy was that Yuuri seemed healthy.

It’s nice to see that Yuuri could find things to celebrate, if he could eat.

 “If you ever feel sad, so much that you can’t bring yourself to eat… promise me you’ll remember me, Chris, Yuuko, Takeshi, Minako, or anyone. Remember them reaching a goal, and celebrate, if you can.”

He had said it to Yuuri.

Yuuri had promised with a smile.

But, of course, it’s not enough. Not even comfort food could soothe the pain of losing something important. After his loss, Phichit knew he even blamed himself for _eating,_ even though even Celestino said that Yuuri didn’t eat that much on the night before Free Skate in Sochi.

Thank god.

In Tokyo, he could celebrate things and eat properly.

Even though _proper_ was relative, considering that if what Yuuri could only accept into his mouth was katsudon then it’s practically junkfood filled with fat and carbs.

Well, not that Phichit could know for sure what kind of meal he’d been having in Tokyo. He was finishing up his degree. He was stressed for his failure in Sochi. For all Phichit knew, Yuuri could have not go to skating rink or exercise much during the three months in Tokyo, his schedule and trauma preventing him to.

The amount of exercise he did routinely while he’s still competitive would make it impossible for the fat to remain, Phichit thought, so his chubby state was one proof on that theory. Besides, Yuuri had always been remarkable skater. For him to master Victor’s program in three months was, honestly, quite slow by his standard.  

When Victor told Phichit that he’s coaching Yuuri now, the warning he gave Victor was that Yuuri tended to overestimate his calorie intake, so for the love of hamsters, please make sure he eats.

Victor promised. He’d have to stop Yuuri from eating too much katsudon, but he promised that he’d be extra careful on making sure that he eats.

In China, Yuuri barely touched the hotpot. He said it’s because he didn’t dare eating raw food before competition, but for god sake, it was being cooked right in front of their eyes.

Phichit and Victor’s expectant glare thankfully managed to make him cave and ate a bowl.

In Russia…

After Victor left, he was sure that Yuuri had forgo eating. He seemed wobbly during his Free too, unstable. Maybe that’s why he fell in his few jumps.

Lack of energy.

Added to that, his anxiety making him unable to relax.

Simply not a great condition for anything, much less an activity requiring concentration and grace like figure skating.

Phichit was fretting when his phone buzzed, a notification alert had just came it.

Someone just tagged Yuuri.

He’s following Yuuri’s tag, setting his accounts so that he’d get notification from anything related to Yuuri.

Opening up the link, he let go of the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.

It was candid picture uploaded by a Yuri Angels.

Yuuri was seen happily eating what seemed to be bread with Yuri Plisetsky.

 “… thank god.”

He’s laughing.

He’s eating something.

He seemed alright.

Phichit celebrated that first before he remembered to calculate the points after Rostelecom Cup was over, and that the result meant that he qualified for Finals in Barcelona.

> **katsuki+yr** so when and where do you want to meet up? =v=


	22. Starting Line

“I’m not going,” Yuuri had said, eyes glued on his laptop.

“Is this payback?”

“For what?”

He seemed genuinely confused. Phichit shrugged, and Yuuri seemed even more confused. Like he’d forgotten how Phichit acted during All-Japan, or when Phichit refused on supporting him in Osaka.

“I’m just busy with these assignments. Also, I figured you’d prefer to spend time with your family back home rather than showing me around.”

“… that’s… not true.”

He really wanted to mean it. But, as soon as the words left his lips, the faces of his family members and old friends back home appeared in his mind. Yuuri smiled knowingly.

“It’s alright, Phichit-kun. I get it. I’ll be fine. I’ll take pictures of my food if you want. No need to be worried about me. In case you forgot, I’m older than you. I’m supposed to be able to take care of myself. Let me prove it to you.”

“… you’ll still be alive when I get back?”

Yuuri rolled his eyes then stared at him pointedly.

“Promise. I won’t get killed off so easily.”

Life wasn’t that cliché, thankfully. Yuuri mailed him pictures of his meals three times a day. When Phichit called him the day before the competition, Yuuri moaned the lack of livestream available for it.

“Well, what do you expect?”

“Being able to see your debut live? For all I know, next year in Four Continents you’ll be using new programs with quads in it! Don’t forget to make Celestino record everything. You know he always forget to uncover the lens.”

“… right.”

Pressure.

When one of the greatest skaters in the world claimed to be looking forward to seeing your performance, it could lead to that. But then again, it’s hard to be nervous when Yuuri was an anxious fluffball who could calm you by being more worrying than supposedly humanely possible.

It was March, which was the time for Worlds.

Chris asked him to chat, which was weird because usually it’s Phichit who asked for him. Besides, he’d congratulated him on another placement on Worlds. Phichit accepted his call the day before his competition after his call with Yuuri, wondering what it could be for.

To Phichit’s surprise, Chris looked at him in the eye and said with gentle smile, “good luck tomorrow on your first Nationals”.

Most countries held their nationals on December. At least the countries that mattered, favorites in international competitions. It’s surprising that Chris knew that Phichit’s would be on March, right before Worlds. He remembered Yuuri’s words on the flight back to Detroit, on the phonecall before, and Chris’s first comment on his Instagram picture.

Four Continents.

Worlds.

He had people waiting for him. Expecting him even though he hadn’t had a chance in proving himself.

The two skaters he’d had the fortune of meeting were not seeing him as triviality, a no-name skater from no-name country not worth remembering. Chris looked up his schedules. Yuuri had started to look up tourism spots in Taipei, discussing everything with him as if he was certain that he’d be there too.

“… hm.”

He’d said ‘congratulations’ and ‘good luck’ often, both to Chris and Yuuri, but he honestly never expected to be the receiving end of it. It was overwhelming. Phichit was lost for words. He could only nod with tears trickling down his cheeks.

“We need this, you know.”

Chris would explain later.

“Someone on top to say ‘ _see you later_ ’ like it’s natural that we’ll be able to climb. Well, some would say that competitions, rivals, beating each other senseless is good too. ‘ _What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger_ ’ kind of thing, but honestly? That’s just tiring. I prefer this, what we do. The three of us, calling each other before and after competitions. And Victor too, but I don’t think you want to hear details on him.”

Chris seemed like he’d talked from experience.

Maybe there were others unlike Victor Nikiforov, who saw the small boy fresh off countryside and gave him flowers and say ‘see you at Worlds’, who greeted him like an old friend when they did finally meet on Grand Prix series.

Who in record time, could announce proudly and happily in front of cameras, “look here, this Swiss man is my best friend! Look how sexy he is!”.

Maybe there were mean spirited athletes who looked down on Chris and belittled him in the name of initiation, with the excuse of wanting to lit the passion inside him even though of course it’s bright and burning already, no one entered competitive figure skating world for fun and games.

It’s not as beautiful as it looked, figure skating. Man eat man world, where time was against everyone. It’s natural instinct to nub the buds before they could grow, lest yourself wither away.

Still, Phichit had Yuuri who was a good friend in his own right. Even though he’d never met him face to face, Chris was also one of the nicest people he’d had the pleasure of knowing. Celestino had his faults, but he’s great. Mack didn’t know much about figure skating, and too busy to hang out, but she never hesitates in giving health and beauty tips. He didn’t know much about Miranda yet, but she’d been very helpful and supportive too.

Phichit was lucky, perhaps.

That’s why, even though he’s all alone in the ice, he didn’t feel like that.

No, not really.

He’s at the starting point. Yuuri was already halfway there. Chris was further ahead. But, they still looked back and called for him. Celestino and Miranda had his back, and Phichit knew he could count on them to push him forward. Mack was on the side, not knowing anything but still ready with her healing supplies, fashion magazines and make up kit. His family, friends from school and ice rink both from Detroid and Thailand were undoubtedly cheering while holding the brightest biggest banner Phichit could imagine.

He couldn’t let them down.

He needed to show how much he appreciated their support. He needed to excite them and make them proud. He wouldn’t just run, he’d cartwheel and do backflips and who cares if he falls? A bit of bruising wouldn’t kill him. Wouldn’t stop him. Not with all the supports he had.

Next year, he’d go to Four Continents.

Next year, maybe he wouldn’t have reached Yuuri’s spot yet, much less Chris. But maybe, there’d be younger skaters on the starting point, looking at his back. Nervous wrecks looking up to their seniors.

When that time comes, Phichit would smile and hold out his hand for them.

And with that in mind, Phichit Chulanont danced under the spotlight.

* * *

* * *

In China after Short Program, Chris demanded Phichit, Yuuri and Victor to accompany him drinking. In return for not inviting him to hotpot the day before, he said. Yuuri however, excused himself to return to his room early, saying that he needed to return some calls from home.

Phichit agreed to join Chris mostly because he’d been dying to have some alone time with Yuuri’s new ‘ _partner’_. At least, some time when he could talk not in front of Yuuri.

“So, Victor. I heard about what happened in Sochi.”

“… which was?”

The Russian man smiled while tilting his head slightly, like he’s truly oblivious to what Phichit was referring to. To be fair, a lot _did_ happen in Sochi. Him earning gold for the fifth time was one of them. For all this idiot knew, Phichit could be talking about that, or the shenanigans he did with Chris or the Russian team.

For example, Phichit had read one news about Mila Babicheva spotting her then boyfriend flirting with Sara Crispino, in which she then proceeded to almost bash a chair to his head if only Victor and Georgi wasn’t there to hold her back.

Chris who happened to be there was also seen trying to hold back Michele, who could be said to be even more unhappy than Mila.

Jean Jacques Leroy decided that it’s the perfect time to boast about his beautiful girlfriend, and about how loyal and supportive she was, and the result was not pretty either. Cao Bin was rumored to have to retire due to injury which followed.

So yes, a lot happened.

“Yuuri getting drunk off his ass and danced his way to your heart.”

Figure skating living legend spat out his beer. Chris burst out laughing, while Phichit managed to maintain his calm and took a sip of his mocktail. Just as Chris said, alcohol was definitely an acquired taste.

“Interesting choice of words, that. Hahaha, it was amazing. What a party.”

When Victor recovered from his surprise, his usually pale skin was crimson red up till the tip of his ears. He covered his face with one hand and seemed determined to avoid Chris and Phichit’s gaze.

“… it… was…”

Oh god.

Dare Phichit said it, he seemed like a maiden in love.

If Yuuri could boast about being Victor Nikiforov’s number one fan (which he never had, probably never would), then Phichit could (and had) boast about being Yuuri Katsuki’s number one fan. Of course, his collection of merchandise might be pale in comparison to others (like Kenjirou Minami, for example), but Phichit prided himself to be the one who knew the most about the Japanese skater.

However, GPF Sochi had a blindspot that not even him could see.

Scouring the net in English, Japanese, and Russian (with the help of Google translate, because even though he knew nothing about Russian, it did happen in Russia), came back nothing.

To be exact, Phichit found nothing on the banquet.

Every year, there would be at least few photos of the boring banquet and the after party leaked. But banquet after GPF Sochi wasn’t leaked at all. It’s like everyone present was sworn to secrecy, like signing confidentiality agreement or something. The ridiculousness of that notion was borderline suspicious.

What did Yuuri do?

Based on what Phichit had gathered, Yuuri asked Victor to be his coach in Sochi. That was impossible to happen when he’s sober, and Celestino did confirm that Yuuri got drunk. Chris said that what happened was not suitable for Phichit’s ears yet, even though he’s already goddamn twenty and considered adult in most countries.

Since he’d found nothing out of the ordinary (well, despite the problems, they’re still within expectations to be honest with Michele being overprotective of Sara, Mila being prone to violent outbursts, and JJ being as obnoxious as ever), Phichit concluded that Yuuri asked Victor during banquet.

In which he got drunk…

But asking Victor to be his coach was innocent sounding, so there’s got to be a reason why Chris said he’s not age-appropriate yet.

“Interesting… wait, he _literally_ did that?!”

“He did! Now, I know you and Yuuri have been taking dance classes, Phichit, but I never knew he was _that_ good.”

“… yes, Yuuri was the star of the banquet. I’ve never had more fun in my life. He challenged everyone to dance offs! Including me, and, honestly? His vigor was… inspiring.”

Phichit saw how Victor’s hand went to his pocket and apparently palming his cellphone.

Instinctively he wondered if inside his obnoxiously decorated phone was proof of what happened that night, which he almost used to question Yuuri about why he’s being cold to him despite the invitation.

“I’ve admittedly, lost that. The vigor.”

He smiled to his beer before taking another sip.

Chris followed suit.

The mood suddenly turned sour, and Phichit was suddenly reminded of the age gap between him and the other two skaters.

“… uh, guys? You’re still in your twenties, remember?”

“And yet I’m already balding.”

Victor moaned. Chris pat his back in consolation.

“Yuuri isn’t walk in the park, we know.”

It was so dark and heavy and gloomy and depressing that Phichit wanted nothing more than to excuse himself and join Leo and Guang Hong in their youngsters club, with promise of sweets, boardgames, and pillow talk.

It wasn’t until the next day that Phichit realized that he still didn’t know the specifics of what happened and his scream of frustration caused multiple noise complaints from his floor.


	23. Mean Girls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They said they only included winter sports in SEA Games this year but please bear with me

Would you believe when said that after all that, the story was just beginning?

“Good day, folks! Phichit Chulanont here! I’m a skater from Thailand, currently seventeen years old! Eh, past achievements? I won Thailand Nationals, SEA Games, and is currently waiting for Four Continents roster to be uploaded! Please support me!”

The thing was, around Worlds, the sport news tended to focus on figure skating and put tabs on the rising stars of that world. Even though Yuuri Katsuki didn’t get to Worlds, he did get bronze in Four Continents. The reason he didn’t get to Worlds could only be called bad luck too.

If he’d gotten to Worlds, would he had won? At least get to the podium?

Was the main question the sport reporters came to ask. Sadly (or luckily, as Yuuri would say later) the skater in question was not present, supposedly still hibernating after spending weeks finishing up his papers with caffeine replacing his blood, and couldn’t be present for the surprise interview.

As fellow athlete under Celestino Cialdini, Phichit got an interview too, but they didn’t ask much. Phichit wasn’t even sure he’d be featured. Not when most of the questions were about Yuuri.

“Eh, how you’d describe Yuuri Katsuki? That’s hard… He’s great, I guess? I mean, he’s quiet. What can I say… Phichit would know more, seriously. Great skater, heard he got high GPA too, not a dirt on him, really.”

The other skaters gave out trivias like that meme from Mean Girls when Phichit looked back later.

“I heard his feet are insured for one million yen!”

That’s… probably a lie, though with skaters it could be possible. Phichit was pretty sure Victor Nikiforov had been rumored to insure his feet for more. Also his hair. Some said that’s the secret to his success, but that’s obviously bullocks. He cut off his hair last year and he still won.

Correction, he seemed even better. Like weight off his shoulders or something. Which could be true, in a sense that hair could be very heavy indeed.

“I heard he does tourism advertisements in Japan!”

That was true, Minako had requested Yuuri’s pictures for posters to help advertise their city, Hasetsu in Kyushu region. Phichit had taken Yuuri’s pictures, because according to Minako and Yuuko he seemed the best in pictures taken by the Thai boy. Mostly they just fooled around, to be honest.

Everyone’s happy. Phichit was always happy taking pictures of Yuuri, Hasetsu got more visitors, and Yuuri was happy he got Minako off his back.

Add to that, Phichit got a cut. A good deal, that.

“His favorite movie is ‘ _The King and Skater_ ’!”

That’s outright wrong. Yuuri liked ‘ _Hachiko_ ’ the best.

Though it’s alarming that people started to think that Phichit’s favorite movie was Yuuri’s. Phichit wondered if he’d let Yuuri picked often enough on their outings together. The Japanese never complained, and always cheered with him…

Note to self, watch ‘ _Hachiko_ ’ on next movie night.

“One time we found him videocalling Christophe Giacometti. That sexy man found him beautiful.”

Well, it’s Yuuri.

Have you actually seen him, hello? 

How could anyone found him less than beautiful, even, that’s just impossible. Beautiful skin which made aspiring dermatologists like Mack furious, the perfect blend of pale and tan… big sparkling chocolate eyes which could warm your soul… Dark fluffy hair…

The smile which could melt even the ice.

Hopefully those weeks he spent wishing for death to be freed from hell that was deadlines hadn’t marred his beauty. Phichit went to Yuuri’s dorm when he could, ignoring the rules of no outsiders because seriously who cares about that, to make sure that he eats and most importantly BREATHING, and hopefully it’s enough.

“One time, he kissed me! It was awesome.”

The sudden declaration made Phichit dropped his phone to the ice.

* * *

“The hell did you just say?! Is that why he’s being a hermit?! WHAT THE HECK?!”

The girl found it insulting that Phichit found it problematic, it’s just a joke, she said.

The thing was, it’s not at all funny.

She’d added to that statement, ‘ _just kidding~ I wish he would though_!’ and even though it may be enough to stop the damage, it’s still destructive.

Well, to be honest, Chris said it’s not that destructive, and Phichit wanted to believe him. Americans and Europeans idea of innocent could be different with more conservative Asians, Phichit knew. If animes and movies was to be believed, Japanese was closer to their ideas nowadays.

It could be… harmless.

A young adult aged twenty kissing someone, it’s not exactly scandal worthy.

Him not yet having his first kiss was more scandalous even, Chris had laughed.

But, Yuuri Katsuki was not a normal Japanese. Not even a normal young adult, if Phichit was allowed to admit sadly. He’s-

The sound of piano audible from Yuuri’s dorm room, stopping Phichit before he could knock.

A cheerful melody, Phichit could imagine cats chasing after each other.

 _Neko Funjatta_ , he’d learn later.

“Ahaha, you’re playing _that_?”

A woman’s laughter, followed by familiar Yuuri’s own. The woman had strange accent, like English wasn’t her mother tongue but Phichit couldn’t exactly imagine what country she’s from, since he didn’t have visual clues.

“You said a favorite, isn’t it?”

“I did. But I’m not that good to judge from _that_. I expected classic.”

What he heard next was a familiar piece, Pachelbel’s Canon. A lovely piece Phichit had come to associate with weddings. Still, in the melody, there’s clear melancholy, like what one’s expect in graduation or separation, not joining of people in holy matrimony.

Yuuri’s playing. As emotional as always.

Phichit exhaled and turned around.

It’s harmless. It’s not at all weird or damaging. Yuuri is fine and not that bad in bonding with people as he thought he was. He’s fine.

Phichit tried to repeat the idea in his mind.

“Hmm…hmm…mm…”

Instead, he could only hear Canon.

* * *

* * *

“Phichit Chulanont… how do you even begin to describe Phichit-kun?”

Phichit was relatively speaking, a newcomer. He won bronze on Four Continents, but still almost no one expected him to get to final in Grand Prix.

Also, right after Four Continents, he decided to not continue to college in America, opting to take a break year and applying for college in Thailand at behest of his family.

There’s still a ‘ _maybe’_ attached.

But yes, between the moving and everything, no one expected him to participate in Grand Prix at all.

Despite his casual attitude towards his fans, as Phichit was known as one of the most approachable in skating world, and him being active on just about every social media platform known to mankind, no one had deemed it necessary to feature him on articles about figure skaters. Translation, no one reporter ever bothered visiting him in Thailand.

Some would say it’s because Thai skaters had never been favorite, but Phichit definitely entranced everyone on his every performance.

And so, when he got to Final, reporters swarmed to get story of him.

Still, what they managed was making a video compilation of the times he got into the news. Mostly shows in Thai, where people actually acknowledged him as national hero. There’s some shots of him on Detroit too, Yuuri always present and Phichit knew that the photographer had aimed for the Japanese then instead of him. Admittedly the lack of recent shots and interviews could be blamed Phichit himself asking to focus on perfecting his programs, so he didn’t really mind.

Phichit liked watching it, reveling that his home country had one more thing to be proud of.

It’d be remembered as home of one of the best six skaters in the world, and Phichit swore to make it last as long as possible.

He liked the video Leo made after Cup of China admittedly a bit more though. Upon finding out that most of his fans had no idea who Phichit was, despite his past achievements, he took it upon himself to make a mock interview and upload it as _Phiducation_ , as he put it.

The first shot was of Yuuri, tapping his finger to his lips, like he’s trying to think hard. Then the shot moved to the Chinese skater on his left.

“Phichit is flawless,” Guang Hong declared with his sweet smile.

“He is,” Chris agreed easily with hearty laugh. “I heard his phone is connected to the Pentagon. That’s why he knows everything about anyone. Full of secrets, that one.”

He heard muffled laughter before the camera turned to the left once more.

“He’s the face of a cosmetic brand. He linked to their page sometimes. I used it and it’s like I’m wearing nothing.”

Mack called him and said that he got a raise after that. Which was very nice. Thank you, Georgi. Phichit swore he’d introduce him to someone later, maybe in the off season because he probably still needed the frustration for his programs to work better.

“He’s the best at taking selfies! Yuuri looks the best in his photos!”

Victor said while smiling that unique smile of his, the one which made his mouth seemed like a heart.

“How about you, Yuuri? How would you describe Phichit?”

“Oh, there’s too much to say!”

“Say them all! You have ten seconds!”

Leo urged, and Yuuri visibly took a deep breath.

“Tea selfie lover addict who can’t seem to tell hamsters and mice apart short cute scary when mad scary period how come you know everyone in Hasetsu seriously cute caring my mom friend awesome skater cute-“

“You’ve said cute three times, Yuuri,” Victor chided. Everyone else laughed.

“He’s my number one bestest friend.”

Yuuri ended the video, wearing familiar beautiful smile that Phichit loved so much.

Fifty or so replaying and Phichit still got teary eyed watching it.

Four years into his skating career and he still didn’t know how he could be so lucky.


	24. Incomplete

The next time he saw Yuuri was on early morning, the expected scene seemed different somehow.

It took few blinks for Phichit to register that a young woman’s presence, leaning to the fence was the cause. Usually, Yuuri would be alone. It’s unprecedented.

“Ah, Phichit-kun! _Sawatdee krap_!”

Yuuri greeted as he slid backwards, preparing for what Phichit knew from instinct to be quad Lutz.

He landed it perfectly. Show off.

The young woman turned to Phichit and raised a hand in lazy wave.

“Hey. How do you do?”

“How do you do...Uh, you are?”

Katherine was her name, Phichit found out. Though she preferred to be called with her nickname, Kat or Katty. Yuuri was referenced to her in Osaka by Leo de la Iglesia, who was also there for the Junior division competition. Phichit absentmindedly wondered if she was Mexican American too, like Leo.

Yuuri explained that he’s interested too, in that.

In having songs made specifically for his programs.

Like Victor Nikiforov, he didn’t say, but Phichit understood.

“So you make some of Leo’s songs?”

“Yeah. That kid isn’t easily satisfied, see? Most of the time I don’t _make_ , though. Just you know, mixing. Make sure the song ends in allotted time, give some effects so that it fits his theme better and so on so on.”

Fascinating.

Kat asked Yuuri next, questioning the necessity of having her work on music for Yuuri’s programs, “but hey, I thought you’re decent on the keyboard yourself. Why don’t you like, do it your own?”

So she really was the girl Phichit heard in Yuuri’s dorm, Phichit thought dazedly as he slipped on his skates and listened to them chattering about Yuuri’s lack of confidence in his musical skill.

Kat left after that, apparently satisfied after one performance from Yuuri. She said she had her club meeting up soon, and moaned the necessity of leaving. She’s the exact opposite of Yuuri, Phichit realized. Yuuri could make people see stories in his movements, hear them in his music, but he for the love of everything good couldn’t exactly make them himself.

Kat couldn’t make stories, but she could make music. Notes after notes with no meaning nor emotion.

Like Mack, she’s not really into figure skating. Like her too though, she was intrigued.

(Though Mack couldn’t find the time to visit, her shifts in the hospital was brutal)

She’d probably be back soon.

Yuuri danced some more on ice after she left.

_Triple axel… quad Lutz… quad flip… quad double toe loop…triple flip single loop double flip…_

He didn’t play music, as always. Still, Phichit wondered what song played in his mind, which performance from Victor Nikiforov he was playing. Despite having watched all of Victor’s past performance after his realization last year, Phichit honestly couldn’t tell.

More like, the only recognition he had was that Yuuri’s jumps were really from him studying Victor’s almost religiously. The program itself though, could be new for all Phichit knew.

So many flips, was all he could think. Well, Yuuri _was_ a fan.

“What do you think?”

“It’s beautiful, Yuuri.”

“You always say that,” he laughed as he wiped the sweat off his neck.

“But it is.”

Truly was.

Captivating, as always. Perhaps it’s the quad Lutz, which Yuuri just mastered. Maybe it’s the many flips. Yuuri seemed like he’s boasting about a new world he’d found, his hands directing Phichit’s attention to all around them, and his smile was smug and yet welcoming, an odd combination.

Although he seemed uncertain in some parts, like he’s not sure of how it should go. Yuuri forgetting choreography…? That’s odd.

“Right, right. Whatever you say.”

“Non believer… but yes, it’s great. Just, I don’t think you’ve memorized the whole routine yet? It felt off, in certain places.”

“Hmm. Figured. Right, your turn. You said you can do quad toe loop now? Better yet, skate your debut program, I want to see it again.”

It started after Phichit returned from Thailand. Yuuri began asking to see Phichit’s programs on the times they could skate alone without other skaters or Celestino bothering them. Sometimes they even went to other rinks, to escape their prying eyes.

Yuuri’s quads were secret after all.

He suddenly opened up so drastically, Phichit just knew that he's on a mission.

He hadn't realized that it connected to other things though, the thing he took mostly for granted. Like for example, on movie nights, Yuuri had been refusing Phichit’s offer to watch more of his choices, and instead asked about new Thai movies Phichit might had found decent. Even though Phichit felt guilty from having to watch his pick almost everytime now, Yuuri insisted. 

Specially musicals.

They ended up watching mostly Bollywoods though. The Indians were master dancers, seriously.

Yuuri could be so secretive when he's trying out things. Maybe it's fear of failure, of having people _know_ his failure. Phichit could only guess, but Yuuri himself never talked to him heart to heart on that matter.

“You know, Phichit-kun… I think I’m going to try it. Producing my own programs.”

“Obviously.”

Yuuri laughed sheepishly.

“Kat being here is obviously for that, huh?”

“Yep. Honestly, it’s just a matter of time. Though I’m offended you didn’t tell me about it before. The part that you’re bringing her into your room, I mean.”

The Japanese got into coughing fit.

“You were there?!”

“In case you haven’t noticed, Yuuri, I’m the one who’ve been trying to keep you alive this past months. Don’t worry, don’t worry. I won’t judge. Go for it. A little warning though, next time, please. Me catching you while on a date is just, you know, awkward?”

“WAIT ME AND KAT AREN’T- WE’RE STRICTLY PROFESSIONAL!!”

“Professional…? Ah, so you mean you’re paying her?”

“YES! I PAID HER! She came, she listened to my proposition, she agreed to the terms, we tried out things, I paid her, and she left! Nothing else happened!”

“Hmm… Okay.”

Phichit allowed his lips to form a smile before taking sip of his tea.

“Wait, why do I have this bad feeling… Did I stutter or…”

“Oh, I don’t know, Yuuri. Is admitting that you paid a girl to come to your room _bad_?”

Color drained from Yuuri’s pale face and he groaned to his hands.

“Chris is bad influence to you… seriously…,” he said, a bit muffled but audible all the same. Phichit took a candid because Yuuri was cute with his ears crimson red.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Please elaborate?”

“Shut up. And stop taking pictures of me!”

Phichit put his bottle down, stuck out his tongue and slid high speed away from Yuuri. The Japanese gave chase with growl.

It was a start.

When he realized it, he was already playing silly songs on his phone, and he was constantly making silly faces at Yuuri, teasing him, riling him up. Chasing each other. Playing games with rules made up on the spot, until they both couldn’t do anything but laughing while holding to the railing for dear life.

It’s the start of everything, perhaps.

“Give me a month, okay? I promise I’ll finish the program by then. Tell me again what you think then.”

It took a while before Phichit connected the dots.

“GET OUT OF HERE THAT PROGRAM BACK THEN WAS YOUR ORIGINAL??! OH MY GOD YUURI SHOW ME AGAIN OH CRAP WHY MUST YOU COME IN NOW LUCAS GO AWAY!!!!”

“THIS RINK IS NOT YOURS CHULANONT!”

Yuuri skated away with joyful laugh.

* * *

* * *

> **v-nikiforov** question
> 
> **v-nikiforov** is yuuri the type to give up easy
> 
> **v-nikiforov** when others say no?
> 
> **phichit+chu** depend on the situation
> 
> **phichit+chu** why u ask?
> 
> **v-nikiforov** it’s just
> 
> **v-nikiforov** celestino said weird things on the call earlier
> 
> **v-nikiforov** btw he’s ur coach too rite?
> 
> **phichit+chu** sorry can’t check w/ him he’s in usa now
> 
> **phichit+chu** define weird

Weird was the person who could demand things from Victor almost as insistently and stubbornly as Yuri Plisetsky so easily giving up on anything. Admittedly, the song felt… lacking, for lack of better word, but it’s not that bad.

A bit flat, but not a good choreography couldn’t bring to life.

To Victor admittedly, Yuuri giving up on the music he'd kept in his music player for years, titled ‘ _Yuri35_demo_ ’ which meant he’d had it rewritten many times over, was contradicting for anyone, much less Yuuri Katsuki.

Or so he hoped.

Curious and admittedly a bit worried, he asked Phichit.

Phichit was palpitating. The sound of his heart loud in his ears. His hands were clammy as he typed the replies. His lips curling up to a smile.

> **phichit+chu** good
> 
> **phichit+chu** you’ve put it in his head
> 
> **phichit+chu**  just give him time don't worry

Before Yuuri called him, Phichit already asked Leo on Kat’s information. Yuuri’s focus, determination and single mindedness was predictable at best.

In his room, ‘ _Terra Incognita_ ’ filled the silence with memory of three years ago in Detroit.

The first song Kat worked for Yuuri.

Figure skating programs had many rules attached. The number of jumps and required component was one thing, the length of the music was another. In truth, the original song was shorter than the required time, and to make it acceptable based on the rules, Yuuri had asked Kat to mix it.

Kat saw him dancing the incomplete program to see the mood in the story Yuuri was making, and the approximate length Yuuri had in mind.

Yuuri asking to see more Thai movies.

Yuuri asking to see more of Phichit’s programs…

It was to help solidify the story into the beautiful program Yuuri imagined.

The first song she made for Yuuri was…

Lackluster.

No story. No emotion. Of course, Kat wasn’t familiar with figure skating. Yuuri’s request was too abstract. It’s their weakness. One only able to make things objectively, and Yuuri had difficulty in conveying his thoughts in general.

Yuuri was not on his best mindset too.

It was supposed to be his first official produce, and yet after that, Yuuri ended up not contacting her again.

Not producing anything again.

It’s not Yuuri’s fault, nor was it Kat’s.

Kat regretted the piece as much as Yuuri did. Regretted it because she knew that it’s not the best she could do, and Yuuri refusing it made it felt even more real.

She sounded so relieved when Phichit told her that Yuuri was asking for her again to help mix or compose songs for his next season. 

Maybe it’s just because she wanted to be associated with Yuuri Katsuki, one of the best skaters in the world. Either way, it’s fine to Phichit as long as Yuuri could get what he wanted in order to move forward.

“Kat, you know Yuuri better now, right?”

_ “Hmm… you can say so. I’ve been following him. I think I can portray his career better now.” _

“Stalkerish much.”

_ “Not as creepy as how he’s admiring that Russian skater though. I assure you, my wall still only has one poster of him.” _

Phichit laughed with her. He wondered what Victor thought of Yuuri’s room. Hopefully he got to see it before Yuuri most certainly hide the assorted merchandize.

“… that Russian skater is now his coach, you know. I'd say he's quite smitten too.”

_ “Shut up!” _

So she hadn't been following him THAT closely, just go through every videos of his performances maybe? Purely professional, didn't Yuuri say? Her disbelief shriek was certainly cute though, Phichit regretted not video calling her instead. What he'd not give to see her face at that moment...

“It’s true.”

_ “By he you mean Yuuri is near dying in his presence, right?” _

“Well, yeah. It's _Yuuri_. But the Russian not yet leaving him says something, isn't it?”

_ “Okay that’s it, I’m going to scrap the career idea, screw it. I’m making it with piano solo, Yuuri is a keyboardist anyway, and I’m making it mellow as hell like sappy love songs. Just watch me do it.” _

Phichit could only laugh and told her that he look forward to it.

(If only after this Victor didn’t mess up, Phichit _might_ be able to think of him a bit better, but as it turns out, it’s terrible idea to expect much from an inexperienced moron with tendency to annoy people by only existing)

(Seriously, Victor, what would you do without me?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't read the email well, but let me just call her Kat okay? I think I made out Katty...


	25. Big Bad

It was June.

The assignment came, as always.

The thing was, even if Yuuri didn’t get into Worlds, his scores in Four Continents made him one of the best skaters in the world, and he was invited.

Meanwhile, Phichit hadn’t actually participated in any ISU sanctioned event, and his scores had yet to fulfil the requirements. In conclusion, Phichit wasn’t qualified yet. No one even bothered looking up his name.

(Or so he thought, but then Mack, Kat, and his skate dumb family and friends texted him and asked about if it’s a mistake that his name wasn’t on the roster)

“Skate Canada and... NHK Cup! Aah! Chris got them too! Where are they this year?! WE HAVE TO PLAN THINGS! I CAN FINALLY TAKE SELFIES WITH HIM I CAN’T MISS THIS!! CELESTINO, I’M COMING TOO!”

Thankfully, he agreed. Well, mostly.

According to him, since Yuuri obviously only got calmer after the phonecall with Phichit, he might be better off coming than not for everyone. Besides, learning could be from many things, not just practice. Still, reality stood that Phichit Chulanont was a highschool student first and foremost, and taking a month break to do basically nothing was unacceptable.

The school was quite lenient in their attendance, as long as he passed his tests and submit all his assignments, graduation was guaranteed. Still, the school might raise concern if Phichit submit anything other than participating in competitions as competitor as excuse to his long break.

His family in Thai would hunt down and kill him, according to Celestino.

And so, Celestino allowed Phichit to go to Japan, but not to Canada.

“MY BRO!”

He screamed out as soon as the call with Chris came through. The Swiss just laughed and raised his hands, copying his movements. Yuuri seemed like he wanted to be as far away from them as possible, though he was laughing too.

“CHRIS, MY BRO! HAVE YOU HEARD?!”

“Yes, Phichit, my bro. I have heard.”

“Please stop…”

It’s like a miracle. NHK Cup would be in Osaka. It’s like god was giving a chance for Phichit to rewrite their memory or something. Even though Yuuri said he didn’t mind, just as Phichit didn’t mind Yuuri not being there on his first Nationals or SEA Games, somehow he still felt guilty.

“I’ve looked up things. So if we order JR Pass for foreigners, we can use the trains for far cheaper than it should be. We should go to Kyoto after competition! It’s just… one or two stops away from Osaka by _Shinkansen_ I think? We don’t even have to stay overnight!”

“Kyoto, huh…”

“Yes! There’ll be geishas!”

“I’m in.”

Chris’s answer was immediate. Yuuri groaned to his hands before proceeding to explain to Chris that it’s close to impossible to arrange an appointment with geishas in Kyoto. If there’s anything he’d like to recommend it’d be the temples there, for everyone’s purity sake.

“But, Yuuri, you know I’ve promised to take Phichit to-“

“No. Stop. Don’t. Please don’t. Twenty-one, Christophe!”

“I’m right here! Honestly, it’s not like I’ve never been to parties…”

When there were Chris and Yuuri, it’s impossible for the talk to not stray to Victor Nikiforov. Specially when the other party involved was fellow skater, there’d be no hold barred. Chris and Yuuri knew of how much the Russian’s presence pissed Phichit off, his existence too intertwined with Yuuri for his liking, but still he’s a major influence in every figure skater’s life at that point.

It’s impossible to not talk about him, not when Olympic, one of the most prestigious ISU event was looming before them.

Chris would attend as Switzerland’s representative, and as if it’s not obvious, Victor would be Russia’s.

“Not that I’m telling you to drop out or anything, but I’m a bit worried, Chris. It sounds… super packed.”

“Hmm… My coach feared the same thing. I considered not going to European to be honest.”

European Championship would be the closest to Olympics, true. It’s a logical choice, to focus on the more highly thought match. Specially since Chris’s placement in Worlds was almost certain.

“But Victor isn’t dropping out, so…”

Chris shrugged, as if saying ‘ _what can you do_ ’ even though it’s his competitions and health and wellbeing and Phichit honestly couldn’t see what Victor had got to do with it.

If he goes, I go.

Chris was basically saying that.

“… Victor isn’t…”

"Yes. He's so easily fatigued, so everyone on the Russian team is fretting a bit, I think. Well, not that anyone will be able to convince him otherwise."

Yuuri seemed thoughtful.

Victor Nikiforov.

At twenty four he’s practically at the top of the skating world.

He’d never missed podium since he’s in Novice, and he’d achieved Grand Slam for two years in a row now. It’s no wonder he’s picked for Olympics. Rather, Phichit would be surprised if he didn’t.

Achieving Grand Slam itself wasn’t an easy feat, but not unthinkable. There had been skaters who’d achieved Grand Slam repeatedly. Though yes, consecutive Grand Slam was rare.

But, if he could reign once more, even with Olympics in addition, then it’d be unheard off.

Legendary, if you will.

It’s hard to ignore the fire behind Yuuri’s glasses, when the realization sunk in.

“Are you even okay then? To go to Kyoto after NHK Cup, I mean. I don’t want you going down on anything because of us.”

“Sure. It’s perfect, to be honest. A bit vacation would probably do more good than harm, and at most we’re just going on one day trip, right?”

Chris winked, his cat meow-ing as if in agreement.

After he’s gone, Phichit realized one thing.

Chris and Yuuri, both were motivated in their own way because of Victor Nikiforov.

But, despite their admiration and adoration towards the Russian, deep underneath it all, both of them basically wanted the same thing.

To kick the pedestal from under Victor Nikiforov’s feet.

They’re athletes, fighters. The way they showed their love, respect and everything was through their achievements. Even encouragement like, ‘ _see you at Worlds_!’ or _‘I can’t wait to go against you in Four Continents’_ , a show of faith, could be taken as _goading_.

Perhaps, Chris felt goaded. His spirit on fire and he’d love to one day to say to the man, _“I've finally caught up"_.

Yuuri hadn't even been able to stand on the same stage as him though, so the burning competitive spirit might be stronger in Yuuri's core.

“Yuuri, are you alright?”

“Hmm… sure, I guess.”

“You don’t seem fine.”

“I’m just a bit frustrated.”

He said as he took a notepad from his bag. He then started scribbling numbers next to codes for jumps, the sequence Phichit recognized to be of Yuuri’s still incomplete self-produced program.

“I kind of wished that even if I won’t be against him in Olympics, the score for this will be known to be one which beats him. Not now, maybe. Someday we’ll find out, I guess.”

Yuuri tapped the paper with his pen and showed the result to Phichit with sheepish smile.

Phichit knew that Yuuri wouldn’t use that program. He’d use the one made by Celestino, not yet ready to show the world the quads he’s capable of.

“I have the feeling that it won’t be enough though. Right now, maybe, but then? He’d probably use five quads, you know?”

The fire behind Yuuri’s eyes dimmed slightly.

“Next Olympics… four years from now… maybe I can make a new one.”

Doubt, disappointment. Similar to how he seemed after Four Continents. Towards himself and towards the whole world who hindered him from going against Victor Nikiforov as soon as physically possible.

“Even though maybe he won’t be there to be beat, I just realized.”

Suddenly, Chris’s insistence made sense.

* * *

* * *

Phichit debuted three years ago, when he was sixteen. At that time, Four Continents already passed.

At seventeen, he couldn’t participate due to injured feet.

At eighteen, he wasn’t nominated as Thailand’s representatives.

At nineteen, he finally qualified but...

But…

But but but…

Phichit breathed in, and out.

“… I couldn’t wait too, as it turns out.”

> **phichit+chu** yuuri I’ll see you later
> 
> **phichit+chu** in next gp qualifier rite?

Yuuri still hadn’t replied.

It’s Four Continents, and Chris videocalled him as always, before and after the competition, but Yuuri hadn’t said anything. Hadn’t tried to reach out or anything.

Maybe seeing him with bronze could motivate Yuuri too, Phichit thought as he angled his phone for a selfie. He took his medal and bit the edge, trying hard to smile to the camera.

It’s a thing worth celebrating.

Proof that he’d been there. In Four Continents, even though Yuuri wasn’t there. Closer to his dream. He’d helped brightens Thailand’s future, even though not perfect yet.

Yuuri was his friend. He felt like bragging to him.

Look here, Yuuri, I got in finally, and I won!

You’re not there and I got to podium and-

And...

And didn't you say you can't wait to go against me...?

God, it felt hollow.

Phichit fiddled his bronze medal and threw it to the corner of his room. He groaned into a hamster plushie he’d taken off the ice, regretting it with all his heart that he didn’t bring the one from Yuuri.

It felt wrong.

He took some pictures with Leo and Guang Hong, managed to rope Seung Gil and even Otabek in some more. Still, it’s ended with promises like, ‘ _let’s meet up in Tokyo_ ’ or the like.

It’s like saying, I had fun, let’s do it again next time.

Still, bragging his medal to Yuuri with his selfie felt horribly wrong. The message was different, and so was the mindset of the parties involved. Phichit didn’t dare to do it, or to press Yuuri, and ended up just wallowing alone after banquet.

For years Phichit had spent unconsciously setting going against Yuuri in Four Continents as goal that it felt horrible thinking that it might never be fulfilled. Yuuri’s not in podium but his scores from Grand Prix was proof enough. If he’d been fine, and if he was there in Four Continents, Yuuri would beat him, easy.

Even if he could no longer land most of his quads.

Even if he could barely connect with the story.

“… I’ve heard, Phichit.”

“I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again. Victor Nikiforov is the worst.”

Phichit said on their videocall, face buried to his pillow. Chris sighed audibly.

“He didn’t mean it.”

“Oh, okay. He didn’t mean to not recognize Yuuri, one of his competitors. Sure, sure. He has prosopagnosia, maybe? Ha. As if. He’s just the worst human being on the planet.”

“Proso…?”

“The thing Brad Pitt has. Forgot not everyone has a Mack… Go google it yourself, Chris.”

Phichit took his phone and blearily went to his notes, a file made in checklists, half-mindedly hearing Chris’s excuse about Victor being in hard time himself and asking a competitor for selfie is what Phichit do all the time too.

Well, yeah. But Phichit never called it ‘ _commemorative photo_ ’ like it’s just pure luck Yuuri ended up in Final and they had better take pictures since it won’t ever happen again. That’s the worse anyone could say to the ones on losing side.

Also, Yuuri seemed fine in the end? Seriously?! 

Have you seen the news?! Did that skating seems fine to you?!

Phichit practically shoved his phone to his laptop webcam, stopping Chris’s argument and he might had glared at the older man.

“I have a bucket list, Chris. Going against Yuuri in Four Continents is one of the most important. Forgive me, but I’m mad.”

Chris looked frustrated as well, and maybe a bit baffled and confused. Though Phichit wasn't sure why. Nor did he have the capacity to care at that moment.

“I’ll talk to him.”

“I don’t care. Just… Ugh. Sorry, my mood is horrible right now. Can I talk to you later, Chris?”

Chris seemed reluctant, but he nodded anyway maybe because he knew that what Phichit needed at that moment was some alone time. That and news about Yuuri. Preferably a proof that a depressed idiot’s comment hadn’t broken his fighting spirit and crushed Phichit’s dream of skating with and against Yuuri again. He didn't care if the moron was in slump and major depression or some shit, seriously, it's no excuse.

“Alright. Will I see you at Worlds?”

“Not sure. Ciao Ciao will make me, but I don’t think I’ll be able to give my all. It’s like Yuuri’s National all over again. I’m moving back to Thailand after this, so March will be busy for the prep anyway. GP though… Well, if luck is on our side, maybe we’ll meet. I don’t know.”

“I understand.”

Just as always, Phichit didn’t doubt it.


	26. Bets

“Ninja! Pose for me!”

“Why did I let you influence me into this…”

“You love me, that’s why. Come on, Yuuri! Say _shuriken_!”

The story was like this.

There’s a powerful overlord reigning over paradise-like land. A ninja from neighboring country then decided to sneak in and assassinate him.

He’d creep unnoticed, and he’d stab him straight through his heart as soon as the lord let his guard down.

Why would he do that? Well, the glory promised sounded, for the lack of better word, _glorious_. Besides, a challenge was always fun.

Creature of shadow, ninja was. No matter how much he tried, he couldn’t get the recognition he wanted. Only by showing that he could bring someone to their doom…

He would be noticed.

Okay, so admittedly, it’s not Yuuri’s own thought. Phichit and Yuuri skated too often together to not discuss some things. A lot of things even. By then, Yuuri could skate to Phichit’s programs flawlessly and Phichit too would only falter when it’s time to do quads in Yuuri’s programs. There’re traces of each other in their programs, subtle so that their own characteristic still stood, but clear enough to tell people that they’ve been practicing together. It’s inevitable.

(Though no one knew the extent of their private practices, no one knew that Yuuri could do four quads now and that he’d been trying to produce a program with three quads)

Yuuri said since his _restraint_ theme, specially his program about the snow woman was a success, he’d like to think up something Japan related again.

Just as any stereotypical foreigner, when Phichit heard Japan, he remembered ninja.

Just like any young hearted beings everywhere, he imagined a villain to go with it.

So he might have thought that it’d be cool if Yuuri could be the dark horse in GP and maybe make Victor Nikiforov fall on his hands and knees and moaning out Yuuri’s name in despair as the Japanese giggle maniacally on top of the podium with gold medal hanging on his neck, and maybe he’d mentioned it to Yuuri who flat out said ‘ _NOPE THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE NOT HAPPENING’_.

But hey, being stubborn wasn’t exclusively Yuuri’s bad point. Phichit might had mentioned it everytime he could. Brainwashing at its finest, honestly.

Also, it’s not likely that Yuuri couldn’t imagine it. Victor in his hands and knees. After all, Yuuri named a dog after him. Phichit just found out few days before, Yuuri confessed that he just liked _Hachiko_ because it has a dog in it and he’s reminded of his own. Which turns out to be named Victor, his brain in English mode and let that out instead of the more often said version of its name, Vicchan. For all Phichit knew, there’re times when Yuuri found it harder to imagine Victor standing on two feet.

And so, after days of playing around, Yuuri hit his back hard and said that Phichit had won.

The pain in his back was worth it.

For costume, Yuuri once again left it to Minako, while Phichit decided to consult Mack. She might be a doctor first and foremost, but her fashion sense was honestly the most agreeable to Phichit. Although Phichit felt like retracting that statement. Her immediate verdict was, _TOO SPARKLY_ , and also _IS THAT HAMSTERPRINT?! ARE YOU CRAZY?_

First of all, _rude_.

“Listen to her, Phichit. She’s a doctor. Her note and orders are like, the highest order in the land. Even emperors would have to listen!”

“That sounds… fake.”

“They’d have to. Or they’d die.”

“… I don’t want to die.”

> **mackamole** I swear phichit if I see you in hamster suit in official comp
> 
> **mackamole** I’ll make it so u can’t skate ever again
> 
> **mackamole** I have ur files
> 
> **mackamole** I know where u live
> 
> **mackamole** I’m certified to use scalpels

So scary.

Phichit then remade his design, and thankfully, Mack approved. Red with golden accent, majestic like. Like a prince.

He had no story in mind, at least he didn’t plan to think up one. But, seeing Yuuri and his stories certainly influenced him. He couldn’t help the one forming in his mind.

A happy child was invited to the ball in the palace. There, he fell in love with the glamour and kind royals, who played with him, went along with him, took his hands and pulled him to the dancefloor, where surely it’d last forever and-

“You seem so happy. Do you like the programs that much?”

“Well, I guess… I just like skating with you, Yuuri. It’s the most fun.”

The blush on Yuuri’s cheeks was beautiful.

“No one ever said that before.”

“Hm?”

“Like being with me… that’s new… no one ever said that to me before…”

If Phichit had been older, he would probably say things like, ‘ _that’s impossible, Yuuri! You’re so cute! I’ll say it for you all the time then!_ ’ and would probably chase Yuuri around the empty rink screaming ‘ _DAISUKI YUURI_!’, but Phichit was young, and younger still at heart. So he just stared at Yuuri, blinked couple times then announced his conclusion with a clap of his gloved hands.

“Ah. So you _ARE_ a virgin!”

Yuuri tripped on his toe pick and fell facefirst to the ice. Phichit took a picture. Even monkeys could fall from trees, as they say. Even one of the most graceful and talented monkey there was, apparently.

“Chris now owes me ten bucks. Or did he say Euro…? Which has higher value again, I forgot…”

“How did it get to that…?! Also, what have you been talking with him when I’m not there? Seriously…”

“Well, you, mostly.”

“Uh huh, obviously, huh.”

“Yep! Honestly, you’re a tough nut to crack, Yuuri! Full of secrets! You’re so private, so it’s fun making bets and theories about you in general. Or scouring the net and fishing out infos from Yuuko! One theory we have is that you’re secretly not human, but instead an incubus from Okukawa Clan!”

Yuuri groaned to the sky, mumbling Japanese Phichit could roughly translate to, ‘ _why me_ …?’, before turning to Phichit again. He seemed like he’s trying hard to seem mad, but instead he just seemed funny with his cheeks flushed, nose flared, and chocolate eyes narrowed almost exaggeratedly.

Phichit took another picture.

* * *

* * *

Phichit heaved a sigh before jumping into his bed, practically tackling his hamster pillow. One of his hamsters was running in their wheel, filling the room with squeaky sound. After a bit contemplation he decided to go to their cage and took them out, letting them roam freely on his bed. The silver one, Uri, apparently decided that Phichit’s hair was as comfortable as its pile of shavings.

So tiring.

He didn’t realize that talking to Victor Nikiforov would drain him this much.

> **christophe-gc** okay hear me out new theory
> 
> **christophe-gc** leanan sidhe vic

It’s so sudden for Chris to bring up their old game. He hadn’t done that since Phichit hurt his feet. Leanan Sidhe, okay, Phichit admittedly had to Google that. Chris’s knowledge on the sexy mythical beings were way over Phichit’s.

Leanan Sidhe. The Irish fairy, granting inspiration to artists in exchange of their love. If the artists are unwilling, they’d beg for it, if they receive consent… then there’d be no escape from the Muse, not even from death.

Phichit turned to his laptop jaw-slacked, the monitor still showing his screenshots of Victor Nikiforov’s troubled look after Yuuri basically brushing off his advances whole day.

Trust Yuuri to get help from faeries, oh my god.

> **christophe-gc** bet 20 its true
> 
> **christophe-gc** and yuuri will only retire at 40
> 
> **phichit+chu** what the hell I’m in too
> 
> **phichit+chu** wait then whos paying
> 
> **christophe-gc** a toast at their wedding?
> 
> **christophe-gc** 50 says they’re as active as march hare and will marry next year
> 
> **christophe-gc** spring wedding. St Petersburg
> 
> **phichit+chu** we’re making bets on that too?!
> 
> **phichit+chu** it’s yuuri
> 
> **phichit+chu** with vic
> 
> **phichit+chu** they’ll marry before the year ends if vic don’t mess up!
> 
> **christophe-gc** bet set?

When he realized it, Phichit already giggling to his pillow, his hamsters sniffing curiously at his trembling figure. He typed a simple ‘ _yep’_ and screenshot the screen to be put in his betting folder.

The last was about Yuuri, not surprisingly. Most of his bets with Chris was about that.

About how he’d approach Victor.

But, the GPF ended badly for him that not Chris nor Phichit dared to ask and settle the bet.

Speaking of the idiot and Yuuri and how they’d meet…

> **phichit+chu** chris
> 
> **phichit+chu** why didn’t u tell me vic is in yuuri’s place

Mari had twitter, and admittedly he knew that Victor decided to come to Hasetsu before the man himself texted him. Mari mentioned about Yuuri fainting in the onsen, the sight of his idol in his birthday suit too much for him and Phichit wondered if it could count as mess up.

Well, he had enough sense to call for help when in ambiguous situation which had high possibility of sending Yuuri to panic attack, so maybe Phichit could forgive him for that.

The reply from Chris came about fifteen minutes later.

> **christophe-gc** I didnt know
> 
> **christophe-gc** I just checked ig

Huh, Phichit thought.

True, on Victor’s Instagram, the newest photo of him posing in front of Hasetsu Castle was just uploaded few hours before.

Phichit tended to ignore anything related to Victor Nikiforov like plague lest his mood worsened again because _Yuuri_. Even though he’s usually know-it-all in the subject of skaters life, always curious about just about anyone, Phichit could never find it in him to want to know about Victor Nikiforov. Every scandal, every news he heard of him since his debut in Senior had been uninteresting at best. He's so perfect it's just nauseating, creepy. And so after he became the cause of his dream getting crushed, Phichit unfollowed him in just about every platform.

At the turn of event, he reluctantly followed him back again. Mari wouldn't be able to follow him and Yuuri around much with her work in the onsen, and he figured the same could be said about Yuuko and the Nishigoris.

> **phichit+chu** thought this is ur doing
> 
> **phichit+chu** u did say u’ll talk to him
> 
> **christophe-gc** told him that he needs a vacation lest he drives another to early retirement
> 
> **christophe-gc** not by his skating which would have been fine if that’s the case
> 
> **christophe-gc** didn’t think he’d take a whole season off
> 
> **christophe-gc** or keep his word on coaching
> 
> **christophe-gc** gave him ur number coz he said he feels bad and wants to apologize somehow to yuuri
> 
> **christophe-gc** that was at worlds tho sorry if I shouldnt have

So he was telling the truth.

Shocking. Yuuri managing to ask that idiot demon lord was one thing, Phichit knew that Yuuri filled with liquid courage could be considered another person entirely, but Victor Nikiforov keeping his word on something was another. God knows how many complaints and rants Phichit had found online, bemoaning the legend’s inability to remember just about anything.

Then again, his catchphrase was literally, ‘ ** _SURPRISE!!’_** , and no one wasn’t surprised at the moment.

> **christophe-gc** btw
> 
> **christophe-gc** vic just line me
> 
> **christophe-gc** said u r nice and very helpful
> 
> **christophe-gc** you? Being nice to vic? Is it snowing in Bangkok now?
> 
> **phichit+chu** yuuri skates again
> 
> **phichit+chu** he also replied me again finally
> 
> **phichit+chu** vic made him better
> 
> **phichit+chu** I can be patient
> 
> **christophe-gc** thx for ur hard work
> 
> **phichit+chu** ur welcome

How nice it is to be acknowledged.

Kuri the yellow hamster sniffed Phichit’s hand before proceeding to nibble on his finger. It tickled. So cute. Phichit reached out to pet it while Kuri continued nibbling with gusto.


	27. Roles

Starting July was summer vacation.

“Nice to meet you. My name is Leo de la Iglesia.”

It had completely slipped Phichit’s mind. Celestino and Laura had been talking and planning for joint practice for months, and since Skate America on October would be in Detroit it seemed appropriate. Apparently to encourage healthy rivalry and familiarize Leo to Detroit’s rink, since he’d skate in it this year.

A more private and casual version of Yakov Feltsman’s brand of summer program, if you will.

He’d share Phichit’s room for two weeks.

He had Instagram.

Phichit felt like crying from joy.

Two years, and no one ever said that they had Instagram too. It’s like a miracle.

Turns out, Leo chose to stay in Juniors this season. Which was fine, Phichit thought. Still, it felt a bit weird. Leo was only younger than him by a year and was obviously more experienced and yet he was just so humble and nice and…

“I’m looking forward to learn from you.”

“Don’t you mean Yuuri?”

Phichit had to ask. Because Yuuri was the one who’d been skating in international competitions since Juniors and had snatched many spots in podium, including bronze in the most recent Four Continents.

“Hm… well, him too. But Celestino said about how no one can look away from you when you’re skating. Innate flair, he said? Yuuri said you’re amazing that way too. I can’t wait to see it myself.”

Aah, so this is what Celestino meant by healthy rivalry.

Yuuri was Yuuri. He made up stories, purposely tuning his emotion to suit it. Otherwise, he’s just a nervous wreck on ice. It’s very rare for Yuuri to be able to feel confident in himself, in his own skin. He had to play a role. Different with Phichit, who never had to do all that, finding joy in having eyes on him.

But it felt different somehow, his feelings towards the Mexican American. Unlike him who wanted to catch up to Yuuri, to be acknowledged as his equal by Yuuri himself and everyone else, towards Leo he had the urge to step up his game to fulfil his expectation.

The feeling was weird. Seeing Leo unpacking while smiling that smile which apparently stuck in his face, unfamiliar tune filling the room, made Phichit uncomfortable somehow. Not the bad kind of uncomfortable though, his smile was easy despite the growing urge to bury his face to his Hamtaro pillow.

It's like seeing down a cute hamster looking up to you with sparkly eyes and almost smile, like it’s awed, and even though you might be a failure of human being, you’d want to run to the nearest store to get a bag of sunflower seed and dump the content on the cute hamster. To fool it into thinking that you’re god.

He gushed over the feeling to Yuuri through LINE, and the Japanese reaction to it was said to his face the next day when they met on the rink.

“Phichit-kun, you have a problem. Like, serious problem.”

Yuuri said, face blank. He was staring at Phichit’s Instagram pictures, and in one of them was Leo posing while wearing mouse hairband Phichit got with Yuuri in Japan the year before.

He turned to Leo. Yuuri had met Leo before, in Four Continents. In fact, he was the one who introduced Yuuri to Kat. Even though they weren’t competing against each other, Celestino and Laura were old friends and apparently had meals together often during their stay in Osaka. Phichit had almost forgotten about that.

“逃げろ。あいつは危険だ.”

“… I’m sorry, what?”

Phichit puffed his cheeks and crossed his hands. He knew enough Japanese to know what Yuuri meant.

“You’re in danger. Grave danger,” Yuuri repeated, this time in English. Leo blinked confusedly.

Rude much? It's not like Leo was really a hamster, and it's not like Phichit wanted to keep him in cage or anything.

Yuuri’s eyes met him, filled with mirth. A hint of smile forming in his lips. Finally he sighed, head shook.

“Nevermind. Nice to see you again, Leo-kun. Two weeks, is it? Have you made any plans with Phichit-kun?”

Yeah, because two weeks of just skating, was… frankly speaking, would only be fun for Yuuri.

Also, even though admittedly Phichit enjoyed his private sessions with Yuuri a lot, it’s hard to imagine that Yuuri would be willing to show it to Leo, not when it took months before he’s comfortable to show Phichit. Or to mess around in general. So, in conclusion, it’d mostly be boring.

Thank the gods that Yuuri understood that. All the outings Phichit practically dragged him to wasn’t for nothing, at least.

“Well, it’s summer and all. I think it’s about time we see what American beach has to offer, don’t you think?”

* * *

* * *

Phichit leaned to the fence and felt the wave of nostalgia filling the air. Yuuri was standing on the other side, head bowed low, fiddling with his glasses before handing it over to Phichit.

“… thank you. For coming with me, I mean. You don’t have to, and… god, I’m so sorry. It’s delicate time for-“

Phichit pressed his fingers to Yuuri’s mouth, stopping him from worsening his guilt and anxiety.

“I want to, so shut it, Yuuri.”

Yuuri nodded, a sigh escaping his lips in his own effort to calm himself down, the vibration went from Phichit’s fingers to his toes. When the Japanese smiled, Phichit returned it with his own, relieved.

Yuuri trusted him. Still did. Would never not, probably. Both understood the importance of each other, Yuuri was as important to Phichit like Phichit was important to Yuuri. Both knew the calm they both felt when together.

Well, arguably, Yuuri would probably prefer Victor to Phichit in normal circumstances.

It was just after official practice time in GPF. Yuuri had bawled his eyes out, and everyone involved agreed that it wouldn’t be good for publicity and Yuuri’s mental state if he was found with puffy eyes and red nose, obviously trying to have the minimum conversation with his coach as possible.

After practice, Phichit changed quickly and refused the invitation to watch the woman’s Short Program together. He’d fulfilled his duty to Celestino, his physique could be said to be ready to battle. He figured it’s time to soothe his mental for the sake of focus.

It’s impossible to focus on competition when your best friend was in the lowest low.

Phichit knew that skating was the only one thing that could calm Yuuri despite their mutual agreement that he shouldn’t join the official practice. He saw Yuuri on the hotel lobby after practice, and no words needed, he just stared at him for few seconds and Yuuri stood up and joined him. As they walked together under Barcelona cloudy sky, he googled up other available skating rinks. There’s one skating club, but it’s closed due to its employees helping out in GPF. The other was an outdoor rink open only in winter, which was thankfully devoid of visitors.

Probably due to Yuuri fairy blessing effect. He’s so unbelievably lucky that way.

“I want to see you skate, just like old times.”

“… uhm, you have. Like, yesterday, I skated Eros, and tomorrow I’ll… Free Skate.”

“Hmm… not quite. You rarely skated to your own routine in Detroit, remember? Also, I want to see it again. Your quads, your own program… Yuuri’s true ability. Also, you chasing after me to delete a pic I just took.”

Phichit winked, and Yuuri managed a nervous laugh.

“That’s… I just made… once… and now…”

“Yes, it’s thanks to you I’m able to be here, right now. So, really, Yuuri. This is just payback. My gratitude and whatnot. I’ll make you say, ‘ _yes, it’s thanks to my bestest friend Phichit that I can stand upright in the Final_ ’.“

“Yes, it’s thanks to my bestest friend Phichit-kun that I can stand upright in the final.”

Phichit snorted, then spread his arms wide, and Yuuri leaned forward and rested his head on Phichit’s shoulder. He took a shuddering breath, and Phichit patted his back comfortingly.

“One more time to the camera tomorrow, okay?”

“Promise. Always.”

And then, practice started. Yuuri skated to the center of the rink and bowed to his only spectator, and Phichit connected his phone to a wireless speaker then played the music.

Yuri on Ice.

The story of Yuuri’s life.

No role. He’s not playing as a knight, snow woman, ninja, prince or whatever. Just him. Yuuri Katsuki himself, bared to the soul.

His love towards the ice shown in fullforce, colorful and clear to those who could see.

Victor Nikiforov’s signature all over it.

Phichit was not Victor Nikiforov. His eyes couldn’t quite capture the minute details in Yuuri’s movements. He couldn’t tell the mechanics which caused Yuuri to flub anything pass doubles. He didn’t want to comment on those too, it’s probably due to Yuuri’s unstable mental state. But, he knew Yuuri, maybe even better than Victor was. The hesitation, the frustration, the repressed desire to scream, everything was clear as day.

Kat didn’t make the song for this kind of love story, Phichit thought.

“You’re too angry,” he told Yuuri, who barely broke a sweat after all that.

“… I am… huh?”

“Yeah. Yuuri, you’ve never at any point in your career use the power of spite to power through a competition. You’re not Yurio, Yuuri.”

Phichit chided with amused smile. Yuuri blushed and looked away, rubbing the back of his head.

“But, all that anger… I’d say it’s a powerful thing, isn’t it?”

“… yeah.”

Yuuri closed his eyes, exhaled shakily.

Maybe he thought of Sochi. About his anxiousness made him wish for nothing else but for the event to end. Frustrations, sadness, longing filling his veins with power, more than usual. Begging to be released. Yuuri couldn’t help it, the thrum of energy under his skin.

He couldn’t help falling.

At this point, the same would only happen tomorrow. The practice proved it.

The energy, the rage and frustration, all of it had to go somewhere. And the solution would need to be found quickly. Spontaneous adjustment on the time of the performance was just too risky. Cup of China was a one in a million chance that just couldn’t be hoped to happen again. Yuuri’s mindset wasn’t suitable to hope on it. Yuuri needed planning, careful calculation, preparation and deliberate tuning of his emotion to succeed.

Not even Victor Nikiforov was capable of doing things spontaneously, probably.

Yuuri’s too strung up at the moment. If he had a plan though, maybe it’d help him relax. Maybe then during the performance he could fine tune the program on the go. For now though…

All that energy could…

“Powerful enough for four quads, don’t you think?”

The idea would be like this.

Yuuri should had it ingrained in his body, the necessary energy needed for each movement in the program. Yuuri got extra energy from his frustration, but it's just disrupting his balance, like kid skaters in growth spurt. If Yuuri planned another quad though, his body would supposedly hold back on the previous jumps and spins in preparation for the addition jump.

Yuuri’s breathing hitched and he seemed like denying the idea. Phichit just smiled, supporting his chin with his hands and smiled, silently daring Yuuri to say what would be the problem in that. They just stared at each other, until finally, hesitantly, Yuuri nodded.

“Hm… I'm... I've been thinking to... raise the difficulty, to be honest... or else, compared to JJ... but new quads... won't it be like Eros...?”

“I’d recommend quad Lutz, but if you want to play safe, another quad toe loop will do. You never flub your quad toe loop since the start of this season. Your first will be combination, so even if you replace a triple with it, there would be no deduction.”

“Yeah… yeah, okay.”

“I know you love your flips, so… maybe the loop can go? It’s lower in point too.”

“That’s… that sounds… right.”

“Okay. Let’s try it then.”

Phichit hit the play button once more.


	28. Alcohol

If asked why only after two years in Detroit that Phichit asked Celestino to go to the beach, the reason was simple.

First, Yuuri didn’t like outings that much. He preferred skating if he could help it. There’re times when he sung ‘Shall We Skate’ during their outings, and Phichit was sure it’s the Japanese way to guilt him into ending their outing faster.

Now, they mostly skated together, and Yuuri had started to not stick to skating his or Victor’s programs. It’s more fun than going to arcade or movies, not going to lie.

Second, and perhaps the most important reason, Phichit still had no blackmail material to motivate the Italian coach to bring them all to the beach. He was after all, brought to America to skate and study. He felt bad to ask Celestino for outings to places unreachable through subway. Kind as he was, Phichit’s parents pressed the importance of studies to the Italian. Even though he wouldn’t mind per se, he probably would ask Phichit’s family back in Thailand and their answer would most likely be a big ‘NO’.

Phichit smiled as he showed his coach the picture of him wearing mud mask and cucumber covering his face, hair rolled up in pins. Celestino spat out the wine he was drinking and next thing Phichit knew the trip was settled.

They invited Kat too, but she’s busy with her band practice, so that’s too bad. In the end, it’s just five of them, the three skaters and two coaches. Just a one-day trip one Sunday when everyone predicted the rink would be to full of visitors to practice.

“IT’S THE BEACH!! SO SANDY!!”

“Oh god, here we go again.”

“Look, Yuuri! The sea! It's salty!”

“Is he always like this?”

“Only when excited, I assure you. He’s rather harmless.”

“SO MANY CLAMS! AND CRABS! SEAFOOD FOR DINNER!! SASHIMI!”

“PHICHIT-KUN, DROP THAT SEA URCHIN! Where did you even get it?!”

“… relatively speaking.”

Leo just laughed and ran after Phichit.

* * *

Celestino went to the bar while Laura laid in the sand, only wearing bikini and sunglasses, listening to her iPod as she sunbathed.

Though Phichit wondered why. She was tan enough.

She’s so cool, Phichit thought. She had piercings, and undercut. Masculine. A bit manly. But it’s where her charm lies, maybe. She seemed so strong and reliable. Also, her dynamic body and full lips-

Leo pushed him to the water, face red.

Phichit might had said it out loud.

Yuuri wheezed to his hand.

* * *

There’s a beach party by university students and Phichit recognized the logo on some t-shirts there. It’s the logo of Yuuri’s university.

Yuuri just frowned at the stage and partying people, most of them holding half-empty beer bottles.

“Yuuri?”

“… hm. I heard someone mentioning this. Didn’t realize it’s in this beach though”

Then he just shrugged and continued the game by serving the volleyball at Phichit’s direction.

Yuuri never as much as glanced at them again.

* * *

Yuuri turned out, couldn’t avoid the alcohol.

Fate was weird that way.

Laura practically pushed a glass to Yuuri. Said something about forgetting to congratulating him for qualifying in the GP series this year, yelling ‘ _FINALLY, RIGHT CELESTINO_?!’. Leo and Phichit clapped their hands and raised their colas in agreement when the coaches proposed a toast.

(Apparently Celestino’s only charge that got into GP before Yuuri only got into it after he broken off contract with him, opting to train under his ex-ice dancer parents instead. He’s still salty about it.)

It turned out to be Long Island Iced Tea, in which Yuuri spat out immediately.

In which the two supposedly responsible adults then somehow someway managed to convince Yuuri Katsuki that he too, was an adult, and it’s totally fine for him to drink alcohol. Also, somehow the argument included the rule for children to always finish their food and drinks.

It was…

Phichit still had difficulty determining what he actually felt that day. He was just didn’t have the words for it. Leo too, probably.

They realized that day that Yuuri was a _happy_ _drunk_.

One toast turned to two, and when they realized it Yuuri already downed four. He was hiccupping, face flushed. His glasses skewed. He laughed giddily to nothing and Phichit noticed that he’d started muttering things in Japanese. Everyone in the shack started to give them wary glances.

Phichit took a photo.

“This never happened before.”

“To be fair, I don’t think he’d ever drink alcohol before. Much less get drunk.”

“… we’re terrible adults.”

Maybe the realization was why Ciao Ciao let Phichit do so much in the future. Like changing his programs after Skate America for Cup of China in the year when Phichit qualified for GP even though it’s basically only weeks away. Not that Phichit realized it yet at the time.

Laura moved to the seat next to Leo and seemed determined to be her care’s shield if necessary. The Mexican American boy too stunned to actually do or say anything, eyes unnaturaly wide as he took in the swaying Yuuri did while seating, following the beat of The Click Five’s Summertime.

Phichit decided to get medical opinion, just in case.

> **phichit+chu** mack
> 
> **phichit+chu** yuuri is red and slurring and laughing and dancing
> 
> **phichit+chu** is that normal
> 
> **mackamole** what
> 
> **phichit+chu** ya he just finished like four glasses
> 
> **mackamole** four glasses what
> 
> **phichit+chu** long island tea
> 
> **mackamole** WHAT
> 
> **mackamole** THAT’S NOT TEA
> 
> **phichit+chu** I kno
> 
> **phichit+chu** what should I do
> 
> **mackamole** WHY R U WITH UR LEGALLY DRUNKASS FRIEND
> 
> **mackamole** WHY IS HE DRUNK                                           
> 
> **mackamole** I THOUGHT YOURE AT THE BITCH WITH UR COACH

Phichit winced. Mack was obviously so outraged she misspelled ‘ _beach’_.

> **mackamole** PHICHIT CHULANONT U BETTER NOT BE DRINKING
> 
> **phichit+chu** nah I don’t like booze

That is true. It’s scarily easy to get booze in Thailand. One day in the market little Phichit saw so many people bought booze and so he asked for a taste. Crazy seller gave a free cup to him. Little Phichit found the burning taste to be yucky.

The many news broadcasted about people getting alcohol poisoning managed to convince little Phichit that booze is not worth re-trying.

Same case with cigarettes. Grandpa Chulanont was a heavy smoker.

He gave the short version to Mack, alternating between chatting app and camera to capture Yuuri as he started to unzip his parka, his toned torso now for all to see. He raised his hands and swayed, laughing giddily. He whined when Celestino tried to coax him down and stay seated. Leo visibly inched away in his seat before Laura decided that they should pack up and go home, pulling her charge to the general direction of their car.

Sadly, Phichit couldn’t say that he’d seen Yuuri happier than that.

After few exchanged words (Mack’s in all caps) the topic then returned to how in the seven worlds Yuuri Katsuki ended up drunk in the first place.

> **phichit+chu** my coach feed him those tea
> 
> **mackamole** IM GONNA CASTRATE HIM

Phichit made a mental note to keep Celestino away from hospital for a while, at least until Mack’s residency ended.

“ピチットク〜ン! えへへへ...”

Yuuri leaned to the side and latched to Phichit. The Thai boy froze, to stunned to react. His screen showed enlarged view of Yuuri’s bright chocolate eyes, courtesy of his camera. Celestino shrieked and tried to pry him away from Phichit, with difficulties.

“小さい... かわいい... ｱﾊﾊﾊﾊ！"

Small and cute.

Way to rub it in.

“Yes, yes, I know, Yuuri.”

Yuuri held him tighter and rubbed his squishy cheek to Phichit’s. He just noticed that Yuuri was no longer sitting in his chair, already on his feet. Celestino apparently had deemed Yuuri to be quite harmless for now and went to the restaurant entrance, fretting about what could be taking Laura so long.

“ピッちゃん！!!”

He exclaimed before laughing harder for some reason, taking Phichit’s wrist and pulling him to where the jukebox was. It’s so sudden and unexpected that he dropped his phone to the ground and couldn’t even bring himself to care about it. He should. He had no idea what to do when someone’s drunk and the answer was still being typed by the angry intern who thankfully despite her threats had no desire to be a surgeon. Yuuri’s smile was the widest Phichit had ever seen.

 “Dance!”

He ordered, his laughter uncharacteristically loud and clear, and Phichit couldn’t help but to oblige.

* * *

* * *

 

> **katsuki+yr** help

Phichit tapped his sneakers in contemplation as to how to respond. On one hand, it’s Yuuri. On the other, Phichit was still a bit miffed at him.

“Who is it?”

“Yuuri,” he answered the Chinese, eyes still focused on his phone. Seeking something to chew, he took his iced tea and slurped, enjoying the feeling of plastic in-between his teeth.

“Yuuri Katsuki, right?”

“Yeah. Phichit and him go way back.”

Being only debuted this year, Guang Hong didn’t know Yuuri personally. He’s still taking it in, apparently curious about everything. So young, so pure, so cute, Phichit thought. He’s listening to Leo filling in about what kind of guy Yuuri was, also about his scandalous situation with half a mind as he spun his phone in his hand, still contemplating.

“Ah, are you making plans about Cup of China? Like maybe you’ll pick him up in airport or something?”

“Nah, we didn’t make any plan like that.”

“Oh? That’s surprising. You’ve always been so close to Yuuri.”

“Yeah, well, I love Yuuri, but his dumb coach is different matter. Ah, oops, I let that out. Keep it a secret, would you?”

He winked and made a mocking gesture of begging to the duo currently enjoying lunch with him. Leo and Guang Hong glanced at each other, and Phichit could pretty much guess what silent conversation they’re having.

> **phichit+chu** talk to me
> 
> **katsuki+yr** vic suddenly complains about our plane tickets
> 
> **katsuki+yr** said economy is beneath him
> 
> **katsuki+yr** what should I do
> 
> **phichit+chu** l don’t get it whats the prob?
> 
> **katsuki+yr** he suddenly said he’ll upgrade our tickets to 1st
> 
> **katsuki+yr** don’t wanna
> 
> **katsuki+yr** help

What’s wrong with first class? Personally, if Ciao Ciao wished to pamper Phichit, he’d gladly let him. Then again, Ciao Ciao didn’t want to get into his pants, so maybe it’s different.

Yuuri was still playing it safe, avoiding gaining unwanted favors, perhaps?

So he could push Victor away without the risk of being guilt-tripped into accepting him again… maybe?

Just how many bases were already covered there?

Is this Kat love song effect? Last time he checked Victor was all about ‘ _he wants professional I’ll give him professional_!’. Now he’s trying out if _pampering_ would work? The thirst must be getting unbearable, then, huh?

The idea made Phichit spat out his drink with a laugh. Leo and Guang Hong stared quizzically. And worriedly, apparently. It’s pretty clear that Phichit was currently in very high risk of aspiration.

“So-sorry… haha… Yuuri is… HAHA… pfft…”

“Okay, deep breaths, Phichit.”

Still when they both moved to his sides and pat his back. Phichit recognized it as the universal instinct to help babies let out burps. Absentmindedly, Phichit decided that Leo de la Iglesia and Guang Hong Ji would make great parents.

Phichit was a happy baby.

He screenshot the screen and sent it to Chris.

> **phichit+chu** make note
> 
> **phichit+chu** in which vic is tryin 2 b ice daddy
> 
> **phichit+chu** and yuuri is obviously already pass denial
> 
> **phichit+chu** maybe in bargaining
> 
> **phichit+chu**  anyway totally gonna marry before new year prepare ur 50
> 
> **christophe-gc** bargaining? this is the first time I heard 5 grief stages being used for love progress eval
> 
> **christophe-gc** I like it

Phichit was almost brought to another uncontrollable bouts of laughter. Thankfully, he didn’t.

> **phichit+chu** ur wish is my command
> 
> **phichit+chu** prince phichu to the rescue
> 
> **katsuki+yr** all hail prince phichu
> 
> **katsuki+yr** so what do I do
> 
> **phichit+chu** nothin leave it to me
> 
> **phichit+chu** I xpect daifuku for payment
> 
> **phichit+chu** banana flavored ones
> 
> **katsuki+yr** aye aye
> 
> **katsuki+yr** wait what r u going to do?

The correct question was, what had Phichit done. Because Yuuri seriously underestimated his multitasking skill. Phichit could totally search up online for pics meant to be forgotten and chat with multiple people simultaneously. Also, Phichit was the kind of person who properly tagged his photos, and remembered everything with clarity.

“Phichit, what are you up to?”

Phichit glanced up and see Leo frowning slightly. Probably the admission that Phichit didn’t like Victor very much worried him about the possibility of Phichit sabotaging Yuuri through his coach.

“Yuuri asked me to open Victor’s eyes to the joy of flying in economy.”

“… well, I’d say it’s not bad, but… I wouldn’t exactly call it joyful. Victor Nikiforov… I imagined him to be first class frequent flyer or something… right? With all his wins and commercials, he surely has money to burn.”

“He is,” Phichit confirmed. “Yuuri isn’t. Now he’s asking me if there’s a way to stop him from upgrading their tickets because Yuuri doesn’t like owing people very much.”

“… and, you know how?”

“Oh yeah. It’s easy. I’m a miracle worker.”

Leo nodded and tapped Guang Hong’s shoulder.

“There’s nothing impossible for Phichit Chulanont, Guang Hong.”

Maybe awed, excited, and impressed, blush painted Guang Hong’s cheeks pink and his eyes sparkled as he looked down to Phichit’s phonescreen. He seemed more interested to the subject than to other more supposedly important matter, like skating tips.

> **phichit+chu** behold the good point of economy

He linked the rich bastard to the photos he uploaded on his first trips with Yuuri. In which Yuuri leaned to his shoulder and held his hands, sleeping peacefully. Victor’s reply came about ten seconds later, a testament of how the prospect of having Yuuri sleeping on his shoulder was no contest to the comfort of first class seats.

> **v-nikiforov** (O_O)d

Done and done.

“Whoa…! Amazing!”

Guang Hong exclaimed as he clapped his hands. Leo stared at him with surprised smile, like he hadn’t expected it at all. Phichit was reminded of his face couple years before when he first saw Yuuri drunk.

Speaking of which, maybe telling the dumb desperate man how to calm Yuuri's nerve just in case he regretted choosing to fly economy with Victor, in which he'd be trapped in cramped space with that touchy feely crush slash idiot coach of his, was necessary. Just in case. 

> **phichit+chu** also yuuri is happiest after few glasses of booze
> 
> **phichit+chu** in case he run again
> 
> **phichit+chu** don’t expect him to accept unless he’s rly mad tho
> 
> **phichit+chu** him refusing is good news

“Do you think I’ll be able to do that too? Manipulating people?”

Guang Hong asked like a child asking their hero if one day they could fly to the sky too. Leo made a choked sound at his choice of words. Phichit winked to him as he put his cellphone back to his pocket, reaching once again for his tea.

“We shall see, young one.”

“I’ll study hard, master!”

And so, understandably, Leo de la Iglesia started to fear for the future of skating community, unsure if they’re ready for two powerful all-knowing information broker with more power to bend people’s will than everyone realized they could.

Well, at least he’s friends with both.

 


	29. Always

Yuuko once said that Yuuri was more often than not resorted to compulsory figures when he had no choreography to practice. That started not long after Yuuko couldn’t keep up with him and Victor’s jump difficulties, and Yuuri had no one else to dance with.

The birth of Yuuri the skater was around that time, Phichit thought.

Phichit remembered his first few months in Detroit, when he came early and found Yuuri skating alone, forming figures of eight on the ice. His face blank, emotionless.

Skating for the sake of skating.

Alone and devoid of feelings, thriving on the love sucked from those who saw him.

Dragging everyone else to the cold.

A person of snow.

That Yuuri felt like a distant memory now.

Nowadays Yuuri more often than not danced on the ice, musical despite the lack of sound. His own past choreography, Victor Nikiforov’s, Phichit’s… He’d smile, he’d frown and wince, and sometimes he’d even cry. Caught up in myriads of emotions from the stories he’d made. Vivid and beautiful.

When Phichit told her that, Yuuko responded by saying that the old Yuuri, the little Yuuri who was more of a dancer than a skater, was finally back again.

Yuuri Katsuki was a dancer first.

Phichit sometimes forgot. He’d seen Yuuri mostly on the ice after all.

But it’s harder to imagine the person currently dipping him with a skater. Phichit laughed hysterically. Adrenaline filling his veins and Phichit loved every second of it. The thrill, the loud heartbeat in tandem with music, people’s clapping to his steps and jumps.

Oh, wow. This… this’s new.

They’re dancing on public for once. They’re performing. Somehow when Phichit realized it they’d already moved from the restaurant and ended up in the party thrown by Yuuri’s fellow university students. At one point they ended up in the stage even.

They’ve been on so many dance classes, but never stayed long enough to warrant a spot in recitals. They danced for the sake of improving their skating. It’s never for the sake of dancing. Phichit wanted to join Yuuri for the fun, but it’s not first priority either.

It’s fun.

He laughed so hard for so long that he was left a wheezing mess after few rounds.

“大丈夫?”

Even drunk he’s still had the mind to ask if Phichit’s okay.

“Yeah, _daijoubu_. But, man, Yuuri… your stamina is monstrous!”

Yuuri’s smile was so bright it rivaled the sun.

Then again, the sky was already darknening, and-

And…

Oh god.

Oh god oh god…!

Celestino was, obviously, nowhere in sight. Phichit would have called for him if only he had his cellphone, which he just remembered dropping back in restaurant and he hadn’t picked it up. Yuuri was down to his pocketless trunk, his parka nowhere in sight.

They’re doomed. So doomed.

“I wondered who you were, but, Yuuri Katsuki, is that you? It’s you, right?”

Some people called out to the drunken mess that was Yuuri. It’s been hours since he drunk the last glass of Long Island Iced Tea, but beers were abundant in the party. Phichit remembered Yuuri taking few bottles, though it was blurry memory. He’s even more lost in the haze of alcohol than he was back in the restaurant.

Yuuri tilted his head slightly, and Phichit instantly understood that he didn’t recognize those people. Whether it’s due to the alcohol or Yuuri being Yuuri who probably was a well-known wallflower, Phichit couldn’t know though. Maybe he was. It’s Yuuri, so it’s expected anyway, if Yuuko’s stories of his school days in Japan was to be believed.

If before he had adrenaline induced euphoria as excuse to why he didn't regard the mass on the party other than as the source of the clappings he heard during dancing, Phichit was then too panicked in his predicament, ending up with no way to contact his coach with Yuuri drunk off his ass, to even notice that he’s basically surrounded by tens of people who quite possibly knew Yuuri.

And had cellphones.

If only he could remember his number. Curses. Useless then.

Phichit dreaded having to go to a lifeguard and told him that he’s lost. He’s freaking seventeen even though in the land of giants known as America he was oftenly mistaken as gradeschooler. He didn’t need further embarrassment.

“Didn’t know he had it in him… he’s drunk. I can smell the alcohol in him from like, miles away.”

“No, you can’t. Shut up.”

“Who is this kid? Uh… God, he better not have drunk anything. Even Yuuri is barely legal. Hey, kid, you okay? He didn’t like, kidnap you or anything right?”

Case in point.

“I’m seventeen, not a kid.”

He muttered in irritation, hand reflectively moved to his waist. The Japanese had started frowning at the people in front of him, Phichit realized. It could be because Yuuri had lost his glasses somewhere though. He was like that before Phichit asked him to get new glasses.

“Wait, I know you…! You’re that kid who come to Yuuri’s room a lot!”

For some reason that sounded so wrong.

“His rinkmate, right? Quick question, what did it take you to get the hottest nerd in campus to wipe the dancefloor with you? We gotta do it again, Yuuri is like…! Hey, nerd, what did you call him back then? Ta… _tako_?”

“ _Takane no hana_ , you daft.”

Flower on the high cliff. The ultimate wallflower. The one mortals would love to bring down to earth but never could.

Oh, wow, there’s a word that perfectly describe Yuuri in Japanese. Who knew.

Admittedly, the fascinating talk about Yuuri distracted Phichit from his dire need to contact Celestino, at least until Yuuri shifted, probably from hearing the Japanese proverb mentioned.

For some reason then, he grabbed Phichit’s shoulders and pulled him to his bare chest.

“… mine.”

Uh.

Phichit looked down to his arms barely constricting his airway, then to the flabbergasted people in front of them, and lastly up to Yuuri, damn their height differences. Phichit was forced to wonder if Yuuri was possessed because that cocky smirk was definitely new. From the look of it, everyone there was wondering the same thing.

“… your what, Yuuri?”

Someone actually took out his phone and pointed it at Yuuri, obviously not wanting to miss any second of it.

“My best friend!”

Phichit was making a mental note to get his name and mail address, he’s going to get that recording even if it’s the last thing he did, when suddenly they _whooped_ and grabbed one of Phichit’s hands and raised it up high. Every pair of eyes in that party was on them now, and Phichit was honestly lost.

_“WE HAVE A WINNER, FELLAS!!”_

* * *

* * *

“He looked for you.”

Victor Nikiforov mentioned on their way back to hotel in Barcelona. Phichit looked up from his phone, he always liked looking at new comments on his selfies and photos, and quirked an eyebrow.

“Oh?”

“Hmhmm. After beating Yurio and Chris on dance off, he complained that no one could keep up, and demanded to know where you were. Of course, I didn’t realize it until recently.”

“Why is that?”

“He said it in Japanese.”

“Ah.”

He laughed a bit when he said that. Phichit realized instantly that Victor’s _recently_ was when he showed the videos to Otabek, and his newly configured to Japanese brain could translate the slurred accented words from Yuuri. Somehow the thought brought smile to Phichit’s face too.

“Yep. Chris was right. You are the one who knows him best. And you’re the one he’ll always come to when in doubt.”

“Jealous?”

“No, not at all. I’m relieved.”

Victor’s smile was true, Phichit could tell from his easy smile and poise.

Ahead, Yuuri was talking with Mari and Minako, face flushed red. They’re talking about his ring, and the seriousness of Victor’s words before. That now he’s engaged to the living legend, god on ice, Victor Nikiforov. Him, the one who fanboyed hard over Victor Nikiforov since he was twelve.

Phichit wondered if Yuuri could be convinced to have his wedding in Hasetsu. Preferably in summer. Maybe then the bet would be void. Damn Chris. He definitely had inside information on the gold part of the requirement.

Speaking of which, the one who get Yuuri’s best man status was still not decided.

Takeshi would only get the title over Phichit’s dead body, he’d make sure.

“I’m glad he has you. Fighting alone, he said. But, he knows, deep down, always, that he can always go to you, among others. In fact, I’m so lucky you’re willing to help me. Even after I did so many blunders. Wait, maybe because of that you’re still helping me?”

Yes, you idiot.

The time when I couldn’t spare my braincells to give advice you somehow managed to make him cry. THE ice queen Yuuri Katsuki. If he didn’t seem so happy in the end I’d have kicked you with my skates on.

Phichit wanted to say, but didn’t.

“Others?”

“Everyone in Hasetsu loves him too. Chris too, he gave me quite a lecture at Worlds. Yurio came to look up to him too. Otabek… I’m not sure, but Yuuri said he trained with him once? Also, don’t tell Yuuri, but when we approached him and Yurio before dinner they were talking about him. While smiling. It’s Christmas miracle!”

Phichit chuckled. True, Otabek might be too euphoric to finally bond with Yurio to talk to Yuuri, but Phichit knew how he respected the Japanese skater. Specially it was Yuuri who organized the dinner party that summer Otabek trained with Yuuri, Phichit, and Leo. Yuuri was the meticulous one who made sure every food they cooked would be edible to Otabek, making sure to separate the pork and alcoholic ingredients from the Kazakh’s portions.

“True.”

“And yet, he came to you, always. He trusts you more. As expected of the bestfriend.”

Chris whispered something which made Yuuri and Yurio screamed out, while Otabek, Mari, and Minako laughed at their expenses. It's probably something related to the banquet, poledancing, and innuendos about sexy time with Victor. Yuuri glanced back, spotted Phichit and practically tackled him with a hug.

“Phichit-kun, you’re my only ally.”

Victor snorted. Case in point, his eyes and smile said without words.

Phichit couldn’t fight back his grin either.

“Of course I am, Yuuri. I’ll always be.”

Yuuri pulled back and smiled. The kind of smile he only showed when he’s with Phichit, Victor would say later. The one which his eyes would crinkle until he seemed almost like with closed eyes, his smile easy and goofy, and he seemed the most relaxed and happy and cute.

“I’ll find out everything that happened in the banquet and make a video compilation from Victor, Yurio, and Chris’s videos and photos for you, Yuuri. I’ll be sure to have it ready for the wedding!”

Yuuri shrieked, and Victor doubled over from laughter. Everyone else snickered as well. Except for Yurio, who just groaned to the starry night sky.

“In fact,” Phichit said as he took out his phone again, “I’m booking flight to Japan. I want to be the first to congratulate you on your gold and confirmed marriage date.”

“Oh, I’ll race you on that.”

Chris said, ever supportive to Victor as always.

Mari and Minako looked at each other, seemingly a bit confused.

“… gold is determined three days from now, right?”

Four skaters froze at that question, and Yuuri trembled as if the air just dropped in temperature. Again, and this time there’s no JJ to defuse it. Yuri’s glare was blazing fire, while Otabek’s was cold as ice. Chris’s smile was rueful. Victor oozed out excitement, even though it wasn’t him who’s going to be fighting on the ice the next day and three days from then.

Phichit put away his phone.

“Yep~! That’s when Free will be.”

Yuuri squeaked when Phichit tapped on his shoulder.

“We’ll destroy you, Yuuri. Be prepared.”

* * *

“… I want to marry Victor. I’ll give all of my Eros!”

Yuuri exclaimed at the hotel lobby, face red and fists clenched.

Victor glomped him and rubbed his cheek to Yuuri’s, saying that it’s what made him love Yuuri very much.

Yurio stomped away, cursing.

“ёптель мопсель!”

Phichit had it all on video, which he swore to include in his compilation later.


	30. Party

So, Phichit watched in a cartoon once.

A psychic in her group of supers ended up in alien planet, and somehow someway she ended up worshipped like a queen.

Phichit felt like her at the moment. Just, not yet on the acceptance phase. He’s still very much confused.

“Everyone, it’s been months since we saw the articles! Since we saw the face of Yuuri Katsuki on sport magazines and news on TV and we realized what a catch he really is! Lohengrin might be not to everyone’s taste, but we all agree in _Life and Ice_ he’s like an angel! No, an Ice Queen!”

Thank the gods Yuuri was drunk. He’d die from embarrassment if he wasn’t. As it was, Yuuri was just holding onto Phichit, lips puckered and eyes narrowed, breath reeks of alcohol. Phichit still wasn’t sure if it’s due to him not wearing glasses or he’s really bothered with all the ruckus.

“So we made a game out of it! This untouchable loner from Japan! THE PERFECTION! THE BEAUTY! THE BRAIN! THE BRAWN! Look at his muscles, by god! Also, judging from the number of sponsors backing him up, THE MONEY!”

“You’re loaded?”

“ううん。全然。”

Ah, speculation only. Yuuri did say that he sent most of his prize money and income to help his family’s hotspring resort. As for the sponsors, they mostly give items, not money.

“The one managed to be acknowledged by our Ice Queen will rule!”

Oh god, the title stuck.

The MC didn’t elaborate on what the winner will rule, but the mass cheered, raising fists and bottles of beers in toast. It’s so loud and dizzying and Phichit wondered what drugs they must had been on.

Yuuri might as well had started a cult.

And Phichit absentmindedly thought, he’s about to be crowned as the king.

_Wow_

“We thought the great Katherine from music department will be it! She got into his room and made him laugh! We have it on tape!”

“I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!”

Phichit turned to the source of voice, finding Kat with hands covering her mouth, eyes wide. She’d been there, turns out. She glanced around almost frantically before she met Phichit’s gaze and mouthed, “ _I can explain_ ,” but her voice was drowned by the MC on megaphone.

When did he even get the megaphone? No one was holding it earlier.

Also, what could it be that Kat wanted to explain? Her preferring to party with fellow university students over unknown brats was understandable. She lying by using band practice as excuse was acceptable politeness.

About the craziness of these questionably sober university students? Please do.

“But, fellas! We failed to remember that Yuuri Katsuki isn’t just a hot nerdy jock! He has his own world outside campus! And from that world a champion has appeared!”

More cheering.

Phichit was still too awestruck to react to anything, but he saw Kat groaning into her hands before running away, phone pressed to her ear.

Oh yeah, she knew Leo.

He was desperate to rack his brain for a way to contact them, but now he wished that they’d take their time because it’s so damn amusing. So many people warning him about college and university life, about it’s basically constant battle, survival of the fittest that wouldn’t end until retirement, and honestly it’s hard to connect that idea to the people surrounding him.

Maybe it’s because Thai and American universities were different.

“Yuuri, do you think I can skip grades and go to uni with you starting next spring?” Yuuri just hugged him tighter.

Of course not, Phichit. You know yourself how terrible you are in anything related to imaginary numbers.

It’s as if Phichit could hear that, even though Yuuri didn’t say a thing. He let out a sigh and enjoyed the tickling feeling of Yuuri giggling like mad (or drunk, which he was) to his neck.

“小さい。。。かわいい。。。このままでいいよ、ピっちゃん。”

Phichit heaved out a sigh, unconsciously shaking his head a bit.

Ice Queen, Yuuri Katsuki, everyone.

He’d totally exact revenge later, how dare Yuuri to pray for him to stay small and cute. With his luck, it’s bound to come true, and Phichit wanted to at least pass 160 cm mark.

Phichit was given a megaphone after quite a passionate speech about Yuuri being an enigma and stuffs, and was asked to introduce himself. So he did, with Yuuri still holding him, frowning at his university mate who just looked at him in amusement.

Of course, Yuuri Katsuki, according to them wasn’t someone who’d latch on to others. It’s as if they thought that even conversing with him was a miracle. The sight was probably very strange, though not unwelcome. Hopeful even, maybe? If he could be like that with Phichit, then the possibility of him regarding others was not zero.

Though, Phichit wondered. If Yuuri’s problem was like Chris’s, or to any skaters, only amped up to eleven.

The difficulty to connect to the non-athlete.

Yuuri seemed to be able to connect fine with Chris and Leo, and Phichit honestly enjoyed being with Yuuri.

But to Yuuri, if he’s uncomfortable he’d usually wouldn’t bother. He’d run away even.

Like that time Phichit found his enormous Victor Nikiforov merchandise.

“I have Instagram,” he announced, because why the hell not, “Yuuri is in most of the pics.”

They all took out their cellphones as Phichit recite his handle name and cheered again at the many photos there. Candid and not, smiling Yuuri, sleeping Yuuri, skating Yuuri, cute Yuuri…

“ _OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR_!”

To sum up the craziness before Celestino and Laura grabbed them and practically had to fight a horde of questionably sober boys and girls demanding them to release Phichit so they could enjoy more dancing, more selfies (with Yuuri mostly but him too), and in general more partying, Phichit Chulanont before he knew it had become the head of Yuuri Katsuki fanclub.

They even had a website made and everything. Though they promised that he didn’t need to do anything but post more pictures of Yuuri, and maybe give heads up to some events or stuffs.

Someone suddenly screamed that they had laptop and modem (“Uh, why do you bring that to beach party?””In case I want to go fullblown introvert y’know.””Huh”) and not a good half an hour later the site was up and functioning. Phichit demanded to check his Instagram and was pleasantly surprised to see that his follower number had multiplied to the thousands.

“Look, man. We mean it, okay. We have someone from law over here who can make it official…”

“No, we can’t do that without written contract.”

“But you rule, kid. Totally. We’re yours to command.”

“Also signed in blood.”

“Say the word for anything and- wait, what, blood?!”

Best beach day ever.

* * *

Needless to say, Yuuri didn’t come to the rink on Monday, opting to spend the whole day as skater burrito in his dorm room, nursing aching head from his hangover. Not that Phichit found out until Tuesday morning.

As expected from Yuuri, he decided to turn off his phone, prompting Phichit to visit him in his dorm.

“Yo kid! Wild night!”

Phichit stopped before entering Yuuri’s room, and smiled at the men greeting him.

“Call me a kid again and you can stop expecting Yuuri candid from me.”

They laughed but still begged forgiveness nevertheless, giving him a mock salute and calling him ‘ _captain’_. The dorm was mostly empty, it was summer break after all. Still, there were people who chose to stay. Maybe because of summer part-time jobs, or just wanting to enjoy America without the constraint of class schedule.

“… traitor.”

Yuuri croaked after Phichit entered his lair. His room was dark, he’d drawn the curtains close, and he was as expected, a skater burrito. Surely he’d been bombarded with questions about Sunday evening.

“Good morning to you too, Yuuri. Leo was asking for you, you know? He’s so worried.”

Phichit practically skipped towards him and next to Yuuri bundle, legs swinging idly as he took his phone from his pocket. It’s great luck that Celestino found it, and also Yuuri’s glasses and parka. Though Phichit supposed it’s not too demanding to ask for a new one when he’d had his for three years.

“My phone rang nonstop.”

“Hmmhm~ And you turned it off, worrying everyone to death.”

“Not you.”

“Nope, not me. I have people reporting that you’re still alive. I even made someone brought you dinner and water and everything Mack said would be good for hangover. Did you get it?”

“Of course, that’d be you… the _Lord_ they mentioned…”

“Yep~!”

Phichit answered with a _pop._ Yuuri groaned against Phichit’s back, curling to himself, and the vibration made Phichit shiver from the tickling sensation. Phichit hummed as he saw his Instagram photos getting favorites and comments, and the speed and number was still increasing in alarming rate. It’s exhilarating to watch.

_‘Shall we ska~te?’_

He sang, and Yuuri screamed into the mattress. Nothing could lure the Ice Queen out of his cave like the temptation of ice, as expected. Phichit felt himself grinning as he turned to his bestfriend.

“I hate you,” Yuuri said, practically glaring through his blanket, messy hair, panda eyes, and pouty lips. Phichit took a picture of the cuteness that was Yuuri Katsuki, laughing giddily before responding in earnest.

“I love you too, Yuuri.”

* * *

* * *

Within the skating world, it’s entirely normal to be fan of multiple skaters. True fan of skating would appreciate every skaters, while the beauty seekers would find difficulty choosing from the myriads of types.

So, with that in mind, it’s normal for one to be member of many fanclubs. Specially since sometimes only members would be able to get special merchandize.

Also, it’s completely normal for skaters to be fan of a fellow skater, and joining their fanclubs.

Maybe. Phichit wasn’t sure himself.

Phichit was the figure head of Yuuri’s fanclub, appointed by drunken university students couple years before, so it might be normal. He knew of some people saying that they’re his fans, but Phichit was relatively new in skating, and he didn’t know if any specific community had been made in his name. He followed some, though only lurked and followed the presidents and not join the clubs, like Chris’s, Leo’s and Seung Gil’s.

Phichit Chulanont was a skater, and also he was Yuuri Katsuki’s number one fan and friend. Everyone knows that.

Everyone also knew that if one was looking for anything related to Yuuri Katsuki, Phichit was the guy to go to.

And he knew things.

Like, he knew that **yuri-plisetsky** spent few hours after Yuri Plisetsky’s supposed departure from Japan to scourge through Phichit’s Instagram and blogs, favoriting every picture with Yuuri in it. Phichit’s blogs were the main source of pictures of Yuuri, everyone who knew Yuuri knows that.

Otabek was unreachable through most platforms, but he usually answers through LINE almost immediately. When asked about Yuri Plisetsky, Otabek answered that he had no prior conversation with the Russian, and so couldn’t answer Phichit’s question.

Phichit had figured it’d be the case, and so the answer if Yuri Plisetsky would be a danger to Yuuri Katsuki’s admittedly still delicate mental state was left unanswered. Phichit had to resort to ask Yuuko to make sure he wouldn’t say anything stupid like the older Russian tended to do. In the end, apparently nothing really happened, and from the news recordings and reports from Yuuko, he’s as harmless as skittish kitten.

The pictures were cute. Him with Yuuko and the triplets, and him with Victor, Minako and the entirety of Katsuki family. The blonde was obviously fighting back a smile.

He’s happy in Japan, to be with the Katsukis and everyone else.

To be with Yuuri.

Phichit raised an eyebrow at the realization that that handler was indeed Yurio’s (as nicknamed by Mari-nee) and absentmindedly poked Uri on its tummy, eliciting squeaks from the silver colored hamster. Kuri was running in its wheel, a small ball rolling around in the bedroom. The sound of plastic bumping what probably was Phichit’s desk snapped him back to reality.

Yuri Plisetsky was a fan of Yuuri Katsuki.

Well, Yuuri was charming in his own right. Honestly, nobody could resist him when he’s in his best.

And drunk.

Drunk Yuuri was the best Yuuri. Alcohol could make him forget everything usually weighing him down. Ergo, drunk Yuuri was Yuuri in his best mental condition. The most charming. Pheromone unleashed and all that.

Somehow the thought connected to a question about the previous year Junior Grand Prix gold medalist attendance to the banquet. Maybe because Yuuri had been drunk in that.

> **phichit+chu** do you have the goods?
> 
> **yuri-plisetsky** wtf
> 
> **yuri-plisetsky** how did you get my number?
> 
> **phichit+chu** I have my sources

Namely Yuuko Nishigori and her cute triplets.

> **phichit+chu** I have somethings you’d prob like
> 
> **phichit+chu** exclusive pics of yuuri in Detroit
> 
> **phichit+chu** trade for banquet pics?

Yuri Plisetsky never answered.

Few hours later, he realized that Yurio’s number had disappeared from his contact list.

Phichit nearly cracked his phone in realization.


	31. First Time

 “Last Sunday was… wild.”

“Please stop talking about it, I’m begging you.”

“Why did you even drink then?! You belly-danced with Phichit on stage! At one point we saw you eye-ing the volleyball net like you’re planning to poledance on it! That’s bound to make people talk. And record.”

“It’s amazing, and we haven’t even taken any class on that! I have it all on my cloud and hard drive!”

Leo laughed to his juice. He wasn’t actually there to see Yuuri’s fullblown action, but he’d seen the recordings. Yuuri couldn’t remember much of his drunken shenanigan, more like at all, but he’d seen the pictures and videos. His entire fanbase had tagged him.

Which, he just found out, consisted of the entirety of youth in Hasetsu who had access to internet, just about every Japanese ice skating geek, the entire student body of his university, and everyone related to either groups. The number reached the thousand.

“To his credit, it was our coaches who kind of forced him to.”

“… why the hell would they do that?”

“Adults. What can I say?”

Kat frowned in confusion but said nothing.

Summer vacation meant no class in the morning nor afternoon, and Leo being there meant that their practice time had been reallocated to allow joint class in the afternoon. In the mean time, they decided to go have lunch to store up energy and for the heck of it asked Kat to join them. The musician agreed readily. She even promised to treat them, as sorry for lying to them. Though maybe, Phichit would have preferred if she didn’t come.

Three guys on strict diet eyed her and her taco, full of murderous intent, bloodlust palpable. The girl just grinned and stuck out her tongue.

“By the way, Yuuri? I’m almost done with your commission. Expect it done within the week. I’ll mail you the demo and I’ll allow like, two chances for modification before I ask for extra. Deal?”

“Oh, okay. I don’t really understand how this works, but that sounds fair. Thanks again, Kat.”

Leo didn’t say anything about the terms, so Phichit assumed it’s the same with him too. Though he did ask how much Kat charged Yuuri. Apparently, she set the prize to be the same as Leo’s usual tariff, but next time she’d ask for more because Yuuri was a Senior and she’d looked up that the prize money would be more.

Yuuri accepted her terms right away because that’s what he heard Leo was charged with as well, but hearing her reasoning, Phichit thought he didn’t mind the increase. It’s like how he’s used to get less allowance than his sister, maybe. Unfair, but reasonable.

“But, it’s so late, isn’t it? It’s already August.”

“Yeah. I’m not planning to use it for this season.”

“Ah, that’s why I found it weird… You said it’s fine that I finish it so late. Leo usually wants it done before May. Well, thanks to that, I can accept both jobs though.”

Phichit chewed on his salad.

The ‘ _usually’_ said by Kat made his heart throbbed painfully, a reminder that he’s different with the two skaters he’s eating with. The veterans, so to say. Even though Leo was younger and was still in Junior, technically speaking he’s more experienced in that matter.

They’re both had been acknowledged as the world’s best, and their entry to the Grand Prix was proof.

One day, one day.

“How about you, Phichit?”

Phichit blinked, the scenery turning clear again, before raising his head to meet Kat’s gaze.

“Have a song you want me to mix for you?

“… uh?”

“I give discount for first timers, don’t worry.”

Uuh…

Even when he watched Yuuri danced his program few hours later, he couldn’t get the idea out of his head. Phichit leaned back to the barre and let out a puff of white mist, imagining it to contain all his worries and some fairies would somehow descent and help erase it all.

His own music…

Celestino would pick and choreograph if his skaters couldn’t, but he’s open to suggestions. It’s not like there’s rule set about it. Still, commissioning music…

Well, to be honest, Kat didn’t charge that much, considering she’s only offering to mix and rearrange existing songs, not making new song from scratch.  

“You’re thinking too hard.”

“Says someone who never pick a song on his own.”

Yuuri laughed from next to him, eyes never leaving Leo’s figure as Celestino helped him with his Axels.

Leo de la Iglesia lived in the world of music.

He’s like Yuuri, in a way that he needed to be able to connect to the piece to skate properly. For him, it’s better to be let to pick his own music. Laura encouraged him to, always. He got into podium almost always, so Phichit imagined him and Laura having great pride and trust in his choices.

Meanwhile, Yuuri Katsuki had skated to others’ songs and dances all his career. For him to want to experiment, to once more copy his idol was expected. He knew his limits in using others’ idea. He wanted to know where he could bring himself. It’s just logical next step to take.

Phichit though…

He hadn’t even competed in ISU sanctioned events.

Deviating from coach’s direction was only acceptable when one had proven that it’s wrong move to take. Using Celestino’s music and choreography gave him gold in Nationals and SEA Games.

Phichit still had no excuse to start going on his own.

“It’s not like I’m going to use it immediately. I just want to get the feel of it. If it works well, maybe I’ll ask Kat to make an original song for me. But that’s still for later. If you want to join on the fad, it’s cool, if not then more to your tea budget, right?”

Trust your seniors to ease your worries, huh.

Even if that senior was a bundle of anxiety like Yuuri Katsuki. No, maybe it’s because it’s Yuuri. If he could so easily say it’s not that important, then it’s really not important, most likely.

“For your information, Yuuri, it’s not Thai tea if it’s not Ceylon, and it’s not cheap.”

“I believe you.”

“I make good tea. I only use the best tea and dairy. And the sugar to tea ratio is perfected from generations of tea making by the Chulanont family.”

“I’m more to _matcha_ kind of person, but yeah, your tea is great. Don’t forget to make some for Leo while he’s in here.”

“Come over. I’ll make _matcha_ for you.”

“Katsudon in exchange for the tea?”

“That’d be great. A cheat day will be nice. Though maybe we shouldn’t use pork… too fatty. Chicken, maybe?”

“Yeah, that’s usually acceptable substitute. Alright then. For their farewell party? This Saturday?”

“It’s decided then.”

They high-fived on it, and that was it.

The music wouldn’t matter to Phichit until a long while later.

* * *

* * *

Phichit cursed whatever deities decided to side on Yuuri’s side on the glorious occasion that was Cup of China banquet.

Damn him and his glorious luck.

He’d planned on interrogating the least tight lipped person for info on GPF Sochi banquet, and that’d be the idiot coach Victor Nikiforov, but said airhead was almost lost to the world after few bottles of vodka.

Bottles.

No matter how high his tolerance was, after _bottles_ , anyone was bound to get drunk. Just like Yuuri who became loose when drunk, Victor Nikiforov lost all sense of propriety but it’s honestly hard to ask him about things when just about everyone struggling to at least convince him to keep his pants on.

Except for Chris, who seemed to want to let his supposedly best friend strip for the lulz.

Curses.

Well, they did make a very touching video. It’s hard to stay angry when he’s still in cloud nine over it. And it did give Phichit enough leeway to record enough of what’s happening instead of stuck chatting with patrons as the gold medalist.

Guang Hong was trembling, but he seemed to be determined. He had his phone out, couple extra batteries in stock on his pockets, and he’s muttering mantra to stay strong and record Living Legend Victor Nikiforov fighting Yuuri over the matter of temperature in the hall and the necessity to shed their clothes.

Victor was however aided by Chris, so he’s winning. Leo and some coaches tried to help Yuuri, but there’s so much two small chaste guys could do when facing sex gods. Meanwhile, Georgi was moping in the corner, murmuring something about his love being not strong enough.

Phichit took a picture, tagged it with _cupofchina_ _banquet_ _thebest_ , and knew that by morning it’d be memed. Kat had sent some keysmashing through LINE, obviously her reaction to _The Kiss_ , and Phichit couldn’t help replying, ‘ _yes its partly thx to u_ ’.

Kat’s response was more keysmashing.

And that’s when Victor Nikiforov draped over him, hugging him like touch-starved octopus, somehow managing to escape everyone. Miraculously, the only thing he lost was his belt and jacket.

“Phichit!! Phichit…!”

Somehow it felt so familiar.

“Hehehe… Nice… person…”

He managed to slur before Yuuri pulled him away from Phichit, face equally red and voice hoarse from screaming. Realizing the silver medalist’s presence, Victor cheered loudly, obviously making a lot of people nervous, before latching on to Yuuri instead. The sight managed to bring laughter out of Phichit.

“I’m _SO_ sorry…!”

“Don’t worry, don’t worry. I’m having a blast. This is so much better compared to Four Continents. So much better. It was such a bore, you see.”

You’re not there, so it’s boring.

Phichit almost said, and ended up laughing instead.

He wasn’t there on Yuuri’s previous banquets, but from what he’d gathered GPF Sochi was bound to be a blast. Remembering the time Yuuri got drunk and danced on the beach party few years before, it couldn’t be anything but.

It’s a very factful truth, wasn’t it?

Something that even Chris could attest to.

Phichit stopped that train of thought as he looked at the Japanese from head to toe, disheveled and flushing in happiness, silver medal hanging from his neck and boyfriend hanging on to him for dear life.

“… Victor, you’re a mess. Let’s just go back to our room, alright?”

“NoooOO! Yuuri wins… stay… моя золотце…! Need to single…!”

Phichit thought he probably meant ‘ _mingle’_. Turns out like student like coach. Victor Nikiforov while drunk was almost hopeless in English. Also, was prone to stripping. Almost cute, to be honest. He decided to help his bestfriend deposited his drunk boyfriend back to their room. Victor was after all, bigger than Yuuri.

“… was he like this as well, in Sochi I mean?”

 “I’m not sure. You’d have to ask Chris for that.”

“How can you not be sure?”

“I... left early. Because I wasn’t well. I woke up with splitting headache too.”

Phichit hummed pressing the elevator door open, pretending that his wince was due to the ache in his shoulder. It's gone. It's all gone. GPF Sochi was practically nonexistent in the Japanese mind. Yuuri was too distressed to keep the memory of the banquet intact.

Or maybe it’s just because he’s drunk.

It could be both.

As expected, Celestino’s drunken rambling was the only thing he could rely on.

Phichit wondered if his photo collection of Seung Gil would be enough as bribe to enlist help from the Italian skater.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phichit : So. Do you have the goods?  
> Sara : The question is, do you?  
> Phichit : (take out Seung Gil's picture in hideous casual clothes walking the street of Seoul been made poster)  
> Sara : (take out translated transcript of Celestino drunken rambling)  
> Phichit & Sara : Nice doing business with you (shakes hands)
> 
> I imagined that happening in Barcelona tbh lol


	32. Then and Now

Yuuri pulled him towards an empty rink few days after Leo had left. It was early morning when most of the shopkeepers hadn’t come, and the mall was eerie from the silence and emptiness. Their steps echoed as they walked, and it felt surreal.

Apparently some of his fans had approached him, and miraculously they managed to convey that they’re working part time in an ice rink on one of the malls there, and that in truth they’d seen him skate there often with Phichit.

If you want some extra time even when the mall is closed, just tell us, they’d said.

Phichit felt proud. He’d announced in his HOW TO CHARM YOUR YUURI KATSUKI post that anything related to figure skating would be sure fire way to connect with Yuuri, and thankfully most people used that fact in the correct way.

Despite Yuuri being a celebrity, whose face was plastered in posters in the rink, no one was actually on the ice but Yuuri and Phichit. The part timers who let them in were in the music booth with Kat, helping her with the operation of sound system, giving Phichit and Yuuri the illusion of privacy.

“Watch me, Phichit-kun.”

Yuuri said as he handed Phichit his glasses. He seemed uncharacteristically mischievous.

Phichit gulped down from excitement.

“Yeah.”

“I’m not going to show you a repeat, you know.”

“O… okay!”                                                                     

Curses.

He should had set up cameras to record the routine then. It’s Yuuri’s precious first produce. It’s something that might change everything. His future depended on the success of this routine. Phichit might as well be witnessing history being made.

Phichit snapped up when he heard Yuuri laughing.

“Joke. I’d show it to you again anytime you want.”

“… really?”

Yuuri nodded before skating to the center of the rink.

“Really. This is for you after all. I’d show it to you no matter how many times you want. I give you the right to ask, and I’ll skate for you for as long as I’m able.”

Uh…

“Wait, what…? Yuuri, did you say-“

“Alright, I’m ready. Kat, you know your timing!”

The girl in the music booth gave a thumb up.

And… really…

There’s no words for it.

Yuuri was amazing. ‘ _Terra Incognita_ ’ played in the background, and Phichit was reminded of his home country. He remembered the year before, when Celestino came back to Thailand with him, and he took him sightseeing. He remembered proudly showing off everything his country had to offer.

Yuuri was like that.

He made gestures as if wanting to direct his audience’s attention to everywhere but himself, his smile relaxed and wide even though he planned for so many quads and triples and…

The story was vivid and loud.

A dancer and a child managed to reach the promised golden land.

But, it’s a lonely place.

Both were confused and afraid.

Still, the dancer felt like fighting, because the child was clutching his hand so tightly and wouldn’t let go.

He was blind to the wonders of the land, because he only had eyes on the dancer.

The child who soon became even more precious than all the gold in the world.

The dancer danced, and only when he did that the child could see the wonders around them.

And with that, the dancer too, felt like he belonged.

Aah… Phichit was the only one who’ve seen it.

Everything. The wonders of skating as shown by Yuuri Katsuki.

Kat and everyone else, they wouldn’t understand the stunts Yuuri just did. The dance’s meaning, the power behind every jump.

If he did it in a competition, Yuuri was bound to spot in podium for sure.

“Phichit-kun…?”

Phichit furiously wiped his moist eyes. Joy and envy overwhelmed him until it hurt.

“… it’s beautiful. As always… god, Yuuri!! You’re amazing!”

 “Hehe, glad you like it.”

“You’re not…?”

Phichit stopped, but it seemed like Yuuri understood anyway. He shook his head.

“No, my form on the jumps is still terrible. Celestino won’t teach me new quads before I perfect my Salchow. I’m shaky on most landings, as you’ve surely noticed. Well, next up, I’ll make sure to perfect Flip as fast as I could. Also, I’m serious, you know. This routine is for you.”

“… why?”

Maybe it’s Phichit’s dumbfounded expression. Maybe it’s the silence. Kat and the part timers were on the other side of the rink, peeking and whispering and clearly fought to not yet go to them. Yuuri blushed and looked down as he rubbed the back of his head, his mischievous smile replaced by shy one.

“Well…! Like, call it… as thanks, or something. I mean… yeah. You’ve supported me and so on. My number one mental support. So… not that you HAVE to, but… I’ll be happy if someday I see you… skating this, I guess? WAIT WHY ARE YOU CRYING?!”

He’s not crying. He’s just too happy, he couldn’t help it. It’s happy tears. Also, as expected, flustered Yuuri was the cutest Yuuri. He ended up laughing harder as Yuuri got even more flustered.

“So you bully your junior on your free time, huh, Yuuri?”

Yuuri flinched visibly and slid backwards, hands flailed wildly in denial. Phichit felt his lips forming a wide grin. The Japanese heaved a sigh in relief, probably realizing that Phichit was joking around after seeing that teasing curve of Phichit’s lips, and smiled so brilliantly, openly and happily.

“Only you.”

“I gotta tell Chris. Yuuri Katsuki taunt his junior with a private show. Asked them to perform routine they can’t do just yet. Quad Lutz and Flips! How cruel!”

“It’s because you have great potential.”

Phichit laughed again. Who knew the bundle of anxiety Yuuri Katsuki could so easily said something like that.

He laughed, laughed, and cried again.

“Sorry, Phichit-kun.”

“Why are you sorry… I’m so happy right now. I’m laughing, and if Mack sees she’d definitely call me manic.”

Yuuri chuckled, the sadistic bastard had always been able to find comfort in seeing other’s tears for some odd reason, weaving their fingers together.

“Four Continents… promise. I’ll master it before Four Continents and… I’ll ask Ciao Ciao… to use it then, I mean.”

“I can’t wait.”

In hindsight, Phichit should had realized what a terrible idea that was.

Still, just like the first time he saw Yuuri danced a routine, he was just too awestruck to think clearly.

* * *

* * *

“Yuuri? Can you show me ‘ _Terra Incognita’_?”

He asked, and Yuuri just nodded and got ready, just as he promised back in Detroit.

“I don’t… really remember, to be honest. The sequence, specially. I’ve been focusing on my routines, and well, I’m sorry if it’s wrong.”

To be honest, at first Phichit felt angry.

It’s understandable, isn’t it? ‘ _Terra Incognita’_ was supposed to be Yuuri’s first produce, the one he promised to always dance for Phichit if he asked. To suddenly be said that he might forget, it’s like rubbing salt on Phichit’s wound from self-doubt.

But then, he just felt sad and terrible for doubting his best friend.

Triple Axel, triple Lutz, quad toe-loop…

The step and spin sequence though, was a mixture of Yuuri’s design and Phichit’s. Of course, jumps are easier to adjust. Steps was more complicated, and the fact that Yuuri even managed what he did proved that at some point between Cup of China and Finals he’d practiced the routine again.

Even though he had his own routines to practice.

Yuuri had been watching him.

 Phichit felt his eye stinging, the relief was painful but nice.

“It’s your routine now.”

He’d said in China in regards to ‘ _Shall We Skate_ ’ and ‘ _Terra Incognita’_ , and he meant it. In his mind, the routine too had changed and adjusted to meet Phichit’s modifications. When Yuuri finished, Phichit welcomed him with a hug at the exit, and helped him to take a breather on the nearby bench.

“I thought you didn’t watch me.”

“Not in China, but… I looked up the videos. You changed the sequences and jumps.”

“… sorry I butchered your first produce.”

“You didn’t. It’s better than ever. And, I’m sorry I didn’t watch your performance.”

Yuuri didn’t see him. Not always.

Not in his first competitions in Thailand.

Not in Four Continents. Not in Skate America.

Maybe the first time Yuuri seen him performing live was on Short Program in China.

But, the reverse was true.

Yuuri let him see everything. Even when he’s broken and messy. There’s nothing he even thought to hide, at least not to Phichit.

And somehow, that’s enough.

“It’s nothing to worry about, we all know our own performance is the most important. And you did watch mine through Youtube.”

“I still feel so bad. Also, about two years ago… I don’t think I want to see you with casted foot again.”

“I’m fine now, Yuuri.”

“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have-”

“Don’t. It’s thanks to you I can be here. Just think of that, Yuuri. Forget everything else.”

“… okay.”

There’s a silent agreement between them.

They wouldn’t mention again about that incident in the past, but it’s still impossible to not think about it everytime they think of each other. Phichit felt terribly guilty of the fall in Yuuri’s career due to the shock and unnecessary guilt to ever ignore Yuuri, and Yuuri himself must knew how much Phichit needed the acceptance, the assurance that Yuuri not going to really leave him again due to the unfortunate accident.

(Despite everything, it really was an accident)

“You’re right. I think I can manage four quads tomorrow.”

“That’s great.”

Still, Yuuri’s jumps lacked his usual precision, most of the landings were shaky at best. It’s not enough, he’s still too strung up to reach his past level of fluidity in dancing. At least he managed to land most of them though. It’s not as bad as before, but Phichit seriously considered spiking Yuuri’s drink at that point. He’s that desperate.

(Everyone knew Yuuri at his best was ironically, when he’s at his worst)

As expected, he needed more than a change of routine.

A change of mindset.

A solution to his fight with Victor.

Should he just cry again or something…?

It’s hard. Phichit couldn’t support Yuuri, not correctly like a proper coach could. Not like Victor Nikiforov. Despite the many setbacks he had, he was the real deal. The genuinely good coach, perhaps the best in the moment.

Phichit had known that since he first saw Victor coaching Yuri Plisetsky during Junior Grand Prix couple years prior, maybe.

As if strengthening that knowledge, making it impossible for Phichit to doubt Victor despite his ire towards the Russian, beside the fact that he’s the acknowledged genius in skating technicalities, he’s clearly gaining understanding of Yuuri’s psyche in record time.

And, Phichit knew, to unlock Yuuri Katsuki’s closed off heart was not easy feat.

Even though yes, he’s also the cause of Yuuri’s downfall these past few months.

Fifty-fifty.

Phichit took out his cellphone.

“I’ll give it another go.”

Yuuri crushed his water bottle before returning to the ice exactly fifteen minutes later.

“After this, want to go get dinner together?”

“Yeah… yeah, that sound nice. Thai? Japanese? Or maybe Spanish?”

“Anything is fine. But, let’s ask Victor and Chris to join us too.”

Yuuri halted to a stop, his eyes pleading, lips trembling.

“You know you need him, Yuuri. Let’s try it out tonight. If you can’t… if you can’t, you still have time to ask Minako to replace him.”

Reluctantly, he nodded. Phichit exhaled the breath he didn’t know he was holding.

> **v-nikiforov** I’ve reserved a table near that rink
> 
> **v-nikiforov** meet u there in 1 hr
> 
> **phichit+chu** great thx
> 
> **v-nikiforov** no
> 
> **v-nikiforov** it’s me who should thank you

“Seduce him again, Yuuri. You can do it.”

It managed to crack a smile from Yuuri’s face.

“That’s the _kagura_ is for?”

“Yeah. Champagne would do, as I said, but _kuchikamizake_ would probably work the best on him. Being it very kinky and all. I’ll help you make it after all this. For your wedding.”

“Oh my god, please don’t. That’s disgusting!”

Yuuri’s laughter echoed in the small rink, and Phichit was sure that Yuuri’s next try would be better than the previous one already.


	33. Growth

When September came, Phichit was forced to return to school.

He nearly squealed from happiness. Not that he was happy to return to school, to be honest it’s a chore. He’d always thought so. Still, seeing his pants about five centimeters above his ankles and his cuffs not quite reaching his wrists was definitely a treat.

“CELESTINO I’M GROWING! I told you more bath is what I need!”

“Phichit, you’re not a plant. Those baths certainly DID NOT help!”

“I don’t care! Come on, measure me! How tall am I now?”

During summer, Phichit grew two inches, turns out. That’s about five centimeters for the non-Americans.

> **phichit+chu** MY SPURT IS HERE
> 
> **christophe-gc** oooh how rare
> 
> **christophe-gc** usually skaters in growth spurt will be a bit less happy
> 
> **phichit+chu** what why
> 
> **christophe-gc** sudden change can mess with ur balance, mon ami

Phichit stopped on his tracks.

Yuuri never said anything, but now that he thought about it, he’d been missing lots of jumps lately. He tripped on his steps a lot too…

The pain on his feet was constant, but he’d always thought of it as normal from falling and tripping so much.

> **mackamole** told you puberty is a bitch

“Did you went through it too?”

“Hmm… I did. Everyone did. Does? Well, you know what I mean.”

Apparently that’s true. Even Chris did. He’s lucky he didn’t get to meet Victor Nikiforov in his worst instead of his first successful entry to Grand Prix Final or else maybe the frustration would not enable the current lovable him to exist. Maybe he’d be like Yuuri. Shame turning him into a self-doubting monster who’s blind to other’s admiration.

Well, thank god it didn’t come to that.

“How did you get over it?”

“Compulsory figures. Lots of it.”

“Ah.”

“Yep.”

“Did Chris do it too?”

“As a matter of fact, I think he did.”

“I see.”

Apparently there’s no going around that.

And realizing it made it even worse. Placebo effect, Mack said. Not knowing could be a bliss. Celestino made him stick to single jumps for now, avoiding triples and quads until he’s more stable.

To say it’s frustrating would be an understatement.

The worst part was that Phichit couldn’t help the joy from growing up. If he’s going to suffer it better be because he’s going to grow tall enough to make him not seem like a kid in the land of giants. His target had changed to 165cm. Mack said the prognosis was good.

So he danced with Yuuri, skated with Yuuri, played with Yuuri, studied with Yuuri, everything as usual. Only that during his session with Celestino he’s forbidden from doing anything more than doubles.

It continued like that until October, when Skate America was being held.

Phichit was determined to be supportive.

During Yuuri’s first competition that he watched, he was unable to do so due to mental instability attributed to homesickness, and in fear of a repeat he refused Yuuri’s invitation to see him in Four Continents in Osaka.

Phichit wouldn’t be able to support Yuuri until NHK Cup in Osaka, in November.

But, it’s alright. There’s Skype, LINE, and whole other platform in which Phichit’s cheers for Yuuri and Chris to be heard. Technology was awesome that way. Speaking of Chris, with him there, surely Yuuri could relax a bit. Chris’s big brother-ish aura was always calming for Phichit.

Until then, there was Skate America, where Leo would compete in.

Being student of Celestino Cialdini had its plus. Well, lots of pluses, to be honest, despite the excruciating pain of homesickness. For example, he could enter the rink for Skate America even though he wasn't competing. He was determined to record everything to his phone and mind for future reference and supporting purposes, but still, admittedly there’re a lot that could distract him.

> **phichit+chu**  mayday mayday
> 
> **christophe-gc** what happened
> 
> **christophe-gc** are you alright should I call yuuri?
> 
> **phichit+chu** I’m in no danger of bodily harm but
> 
> **phichit+chu** chris
> 
> **phichit+chu** where did you say victors assignments are again?

Phichit hadn’t remembered wrong.

Victor Nikiforov was assigned to Cup of China and _Trophee du France_. For the first time he’s not assigned to the same competition as Chris. Usually they’d meet at least once before Finals.

And yet and yet and yet…!

“Remember, our bet is void if you use triples, Mila~”

“Understood, coach!”

Phichit didn’t know how to react.

 “Good, good. I see your balance is getting better. You’re getting used to your growth, I see. How quick! Good job!”

“Thank you, coach! Why are we speaking in English, though?”

“For your practice, of course! This is the first time you’ll compete without Yakov present, but don’t expect me to translate for you in interviews. No Russian until banquet!”

“Understood!”

Victor Nikiforov was there, in Detroit, in person. Leaning on the fence with easy smile adorning his handsome face, gray hair framing sparkling blue eyes as clear as summer sky. His body sans for his head covered with expensive designer clothing.

Holy shit.

* * *

Yuuri Katsuki was the luckiest person Phichit knew.

But, with Victor Nikiforov laughing and chatting with the Russian skater, Mila Babicheva, Phichit felt the need to rectify.

Yuuri left early for Canada just the day before, and apparently not few hours after his plane took off, the Russian team which among others consisted of Mila Babicheva and Victor Nikiforov landed.

As for the reason why Victor was there even though he’s not competing, their coach Yakov Feltman couldn’t be in Detroit due to overlapped schedule, most of his students were assigned to Skate Canada. Apparently, he felt that since Victor had the gall to give advice to the Junior skater, he could handle being Yakov’s substitute for a week.

For some reason, he seemed to had found it a challenge. Yakov obviously meant for it as some sort of punishment for him being irresponsible, and for Mila to see his true nature. But to everyone’s surprise, because when the hell that man had ever been predictable, Victor Nikiforov just said ‘okay’ and lo and behold turns out he already had a coaching license.

Some people use the off season to chill (for the lack of better word), Victor Nikiforov use it to find ways to somehow coach himself for the next season.

“Don’t worry, Yakov! I’ll make sure our Mila gets to the podium!”

He’d declared in front of reporters before they board their plane from Russia, the article showing picture of him smiling his unique heart shaped smile, while Mila was grinning as wide as Victor did with peace sign shoved to the camera. Looking at the date, it’s just uploaded few hours before, so it’s more likely than not that Yuuri hadn’t known about it yet.

Yuuri, your luck… admittedly it’s terrible in the case of Victor Nikiforov.

Unconsciously, Phichit took a picture, and sent it immediately to Chris, along with the links to some articles about it.

He knew that the Swiss man was eating with Yuuri and their coaches.

Phichit felt like he could hear their (mostly Yuuri’s) surprised cries all the way from Detroit.

* * *

* * *

Yuuri Katsuki’s luck in the matter of Victor Nikiforov might had been abysmal, but so was Phichit’s luck in the matter of Yuuri.

How could it be that it was only after five years of him knowing Yuuri, of him wishing to skate on the same event as his best friend, that he’s finally able to?

Phichit understood then the frustration. Yuuri was unable to give his best in GPF Sochi, to meet his idol at his best. Despite the happiness, he felt frustration too.

Even though his true dream was to hold ice shows and share the joy of skating with everyone, being at the bottom of the list still hurt.

He always said that he could understand how Yuuri felt, but he supposed he could only truly mean it then. Just meeting Victor wasn’t enough, of course, he’d have to want to kick his butt too. Phichit too, just reaching Finals just wasn’t enough.

Rooftop pool was place for the broken hearted, maybe. Like Victor who was beckoned there to wallow alone on uncertainty about his future, about his career and Yuuri, though Phichit wasn’t suicidal. He’s a delicate tropical flower and he’s not going to go swim in winter despite the need to cool his head.

He’s grown, as a skater, surely.

Then again so was everyone.

Memories flashed in Phichit’s mind. Of young Mila being coached by subtitute-coach Victor Nikiforov. Now it’s Yuuri who’s in her place, and Victor was no longer a substitute.

Leo and Otabek, last time he saw them in person, they’re still in Juniors.

Unknown in each of their specialties.

Now, no one had any doubt on their abilities, only their scores against each other.

Meanwhile, Phichit…

“Have I done enough…?”

He muttered to no one. Down below, the lights of Barcelone twinkling like stars.

In everything. For everything and everyone.

For Yuuri, who’d helped him reach the peak.

For Celestino, who’d always supported him.

For Thailand, the land he called home.

For everyone else, who’d make his life wonderful.

“ _お疲れ_. You did great, Phichit-kun.”

Yuuri’s voice broke his melancholic line of thought. Phichit tried to school his lips into a smile before turning to the Japanese. He was already in suit, under his thick coat, and he was holding two glasses of what apparently were mocktail.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

There’s an awkward silence, until finally Yuuri walked closer and handed a glass to him.

“I bought some drinks, if you want? It’s… strawberry banana thing, I forgot. It’s in Spanish.”

“Nice. Thanks.”

Yuuri offered his trademark cute shy smile, whoever said that that smile was reserved only for Victor Nikiforov was a liar, then walked closer until he leaned on the fence with Phichit. The lights reflecting on his eyes, sparkling, and Phichit knew that Yuuri wasn’t exactly looking at anything.

“What are you thinking?”

“… you.”

“Hmm?”

Phichit just hummed as he slid forward, resting his chin on his arms, eyes back to the star ocean. His drink had already been downed in one big gulp.

“You’ve grown so much. I thought… I thought I should let you know.”

“Unfortunately, I’m stuck at 165 cm tall, Yuuri. Been like this since before you return to Hasetsu.”

“Not about that…! I mean… as a skater. You seem the most radiant, and everyone loves you…! Me too, really, and I’m just so happy to be able to finally skate against you.”

“…”

“Again. Really, but… you know… Cup of China, I was a bit… preoccupied. Now too, actually, and you’ve helped a lot. But yeah. I’m so sorry. So sorry… I watched like, only halfway, but I’ve Youtubed it! And you’re amazing. Really amazing. I’m… I’m so glad, and… sorry…”

Phichit felt something constricting his lungs. He took a shaky breath and exhaled.

“… Yuuri?”

“Uhm… yeah?”

“I’m glad too.”

Yuuri heaved a sigh, and his smile turned wider and seemingly more relaxed.

“Four Continents. I’ll definitely watch you carefully then. I don’t care if my turn would be next. I’ll perfect ‘ _Terra Incognita_ ’.”

“I’ll step up my game then. Maybe put in Salchow or even flips.”

“I can’t wait.”

Memory of years ago flashed, and Phichit let out a hiss as tears threatened to break through.

He fell.

He _fell_.

It’s his important competition with his beloved friends who’d been there for him since his debut and yet he _fell_.

He fucking slipped and fell on his first jump and it’s not his best what the hell how embarrassing it’s his important day and yet-

And yet everyone’s been supportive.

Everyone just congratulated him, said they couldn’t wait to see more from him, even though he’s dead last.

He’s not fulfilling anyone’s expectation and yet everyone’s been praising him.

It’s just… horrible.

“In case you’re being stupid, Yuuri,” he said between his sobs, “it’s not because of you. It’s… it’s me, okay. I was seriously calmer than I was back in Cup of China. Because I knew… that my best friend is fine. Helping you… helps me too. So don’t think of saying you’ll… stop relying on me. Or I’ll get mad. Okay?”

“… Okay. Sorry. And thank you, I guess.”

“Kicking Victor will make me feel a lot better, so you better say if anything happens.”

“Okay.”

He felt Yuuri’s hand on his shoulder, and Phichit leaned to the touch with a sigh.

Instead of Victor, on that day’s banquet, Yuuri arrived to the banquet hand in hand with Phichit Chulanont. Like giddy school boy, laughing with flushed cheeks and not a hint of tears in their faces. Cellphone at the ready, Phichit’s first picture of the night was of Chris and Victor waving enthusiastically at them to come over.

Despite his aching chest, the cheers didn’t sound so bad anymore.


	34. Save Points

Victor Nikiforov shivered visibly, before looking around, seemingly confused. It’s likely that he had weak sixth sense and could feel the sharp glare full of animosity directed his way and Mila.

The _whatthefuckness_ was surreal.

No one in the premise expected Victor Nikiforov. He who was granted good fortune by the gods tend to suck out fortunes from others. Somehow, it’s what came to be believed by just about everyone, though unconsciously.

Mila Babicheva was no Victor Nikiforov, and yet everyone else saw her as if she was Victor, god on ice. At least, prophet? Phichit wasn’t that good on imagery, unlike Yuuri.

Eyes were on her and her coach.

“Wow, it’s freezing in here. I’m getting some tea then, котенка. Want some?”

“No thanks, Coach. Thanks anyway! And remember, no Russian! Your words, Coach!”

The chill from wanting to prove themselves, that defeating the gods and their prophets weren’t impossible, was enough to freeze even hell itself, it seems.

To the ladies, it’s the once in the lifetime opportunity. With barrier called gender, it’s literally impossible to defeat the god called Victor Nikiforov.

But, to them then, in Detroit at that moment, there’s Mila.

And all the Junior girls there were becoming one with the ice.

Becoming ice women dead set on sucking life out of him and his protégé, so to speak.

Defeating Mila would mean defeating Victor Nikiforov, in a way.

Phichit was particularly sensitive to these kind of thing. The anomaly, the unexpected, the juicy gossip. The scheduled time for Leo’s practice would be way later, but he felt necessary to come anyway. His sixth sense was tingling, so to speak.

Well, maybe not.

To tell the truth, he’s just been trying to take over the net to further spread the wonder of ice skating through it. Mack had connections, with her being aspiring dermatologists in family of fashion stars and all and brainwashing her about the beauty of skaters never sounded like a bad idea. Good publicity and all. So he came mostly just to take some good pics to be make some collage and uploaded with hashtag _ShallWeSkateForTheWorld_ (tentative).

Turns out, he found even more awestriking thing, even for himself.

Now, Phichit Chulanont wasn’t exactly a saint. He might be the helpful side character in the story of Yuuri Katsuki, but he’s the protagonist of his own story. He had his own struggles and goals. He’s the hero destined to defeat adversaries such as Demon Lord Victor Nikiforov and his minions.

Just the same as any heroes, he had his own demon.

Anyway, at that time, as Phichit recorded Victor giving instructions to Mila, he realized the sickening feeling from inside him.

Jealousy.

The familiar feeling that burned him when he was in Japan was back again.

Phichit was jealous of the girls who’d had the chance while his wouldn’t until a long time.

Or as Yuuri said, maybe would never at all.

Even though he, as he found out, wanted to defeat Victor Nikiforov too.

No one didn’t want to.

Even Yuuri Katsuki, and certainly even Christophe Giacometti. Friends or not, idol or not, it didn’t matter.

“Ah, found it. The one cursing my coach!”

Phichit blinked as a Cheshire grin filling his vision. Mila Babicheva was leaning on the fence and leaned forward, their faces close enough that Phichit could feel her breath on his skin.

He smiled back.

“You got me.”

As if it was possible, her smile turned a tad bit wider.

“Mila Babicheva,” she said as she offered Phichit her hand. Phichit took it and shook it once. To his surprise, her gloved hand was as cold as expected.

So human.

“Phichit Chulanont. Shouldn’t you like, back to practice?”

“On break. I’ll continue when Victor gets back. Are you competing too? I thought I know everyone on the roster.”

“Nah, I’m here for a friend.”

“But you skate, right? I swear I’ve seen you somewhere before.”

“I do. Senior. Do you have Instagram?”

And that’s how Phichit Chulanont became friends with Mila Babicheva. When Victor came back with two cups of steaming tea, announcing the weirdness of them not having jam as condiment with that admittedly endearing heart shaped smile of his, Phichit waved her goodbye after saying that he’d see her soon on Worlds or GP.

“Dude! You didn’t take pictures with him?!”

Admittedly, he didn’t want to even talk to the god on ice.

“Nah, I took a pic but it’s just to show Yuuri and Chris.”

No one even bothered to take picture with him anyway, not even the coaches. Phichit figured everyone in Junior ladies wouldn’t want to, unless they’ve managed to somehow rank above Mila during competition days the week after.

Phichit didn’t think he wanted to ask for selfies with Victor unless it’s on competition days either.

“What why?! He’d do wonders to your Insta. I thought you’d like that.”

He wouldn’t, but Phichit only deigned Leo with a shrug.

He did upload a picture on his Instagram though, captioned it with ‘ _Guess who I saw in Skate America’_ , and Yuuri was the first who respond with crying emojis. Kat commented that he seemed similar to the guy on Yuuri’s posters. Yuuri’s fans then proceeded to ask if more poster of Victor Nikiforov would be suitable as birthday present the month after.

Yes. The answer was a big fat circle mark of **_YES_**.

Sadly so.

Really, the simplicity of it was saddening.

“Anyway, enough about him. You have your own competition to worry about, Leo. I’ll find him for you later if you want a selfie. Go wreck havoc!”

It’s the last chance he had anyway. Not that they knew it yet, but starting next year, a fairy would rule the Junior’s court. Collecting gold left and right, Oberon that was unforgiving.

Or as a certain Canadian would exclaim with glee couple years later, The Almighty Queen Titania.

Leo landed a triple Salchow, and a Chinese skater gasped in admiration.

Kat hummed her own song as Leo skated, seemingly pleased with herself.

“I regret never could see him before. Thank god this year the event is in Detroit,” the university student said with awe. Phichit smiled as he steadied his hand, making sure that Leo’s program was perfectly recorded properly for reviewing purposes.

“It’s beautiful.”

“It is.”

“Discount for you, Phichit. That offer still stands.”

“For free show?”

“Hmm. I’d offer treats to Thai once a week, but sure.”

Phichit huffed a laugh. Something stirred inside him when he saw Leo landing triple Axel.

“I’ll think about it.”

Somehow, the drive for it was still nonexistent.

* * *

* * *

“Phichit! How are you?”

“Mila!”

They hugged in the hotel lobby, a gagging Yuri Plisetsky at the back. Phichit paid him no mind. The tiger had never been people person, though Phichit vowed to find a suitable person to be his (probably one and only) friend as thanks for what he did for Yuuri in Rostelecom Cup.

“It’s been so long! Not since your Junior, I think? In Detroit?”

“I think it was. I was so worried when you took a break!”

“Hehe, as you can see-“

Phichit demonstrated by doing tap dance, right in the lobby, ignoring the slow background music. Mila gasped in glee and took out her phone, giggling when Phichit ended it with a dab. Everyone clapped and cheered.

“Totally fine now!”

“Nice! I’ll cheer for you later! Finally I can see you in person! Excitement!”

“Me too!”

They cheered and hugged again, before promising to go clubbing after the competition ended.

It’s like English textbook conversation for young Asian.

In the end, Phichit couldn’t cheer for her, not in her Short Program. He was otherwise occupied then. As much as he’d like to thank her for introducing Sara Crispino to him, it’d be just rude if he couldn’t focus on the performances because _Yuuri_.

She said it’s fine, rather she’s thankful that her rinkmate (still rinkmate, would never stop being that to her probably) was still pretty much sane in restrospect, but in return she’d like some exclusive picture of Otabek Altin. Preferably when he’s DJ-ing, as the rumors said he liked to do.

That could be arranged.

Otabek lowered his head in greeting, and Phichit waved back as he walked towards the Kazakh.

“Someone has a crush on you and I’d like a picture.”

His smile was more relaxed than what usually would be expected of him. Finally being acknowledged by one’s idol could do so much to a person, Phichit noticed. Yuuri becoming more erotic and Otabek becoming more friendly seeming. Russians and their miracle personality changing ability.

Phichit felt like advertising it.

“Do you owe them something?”

“Kind of. So, can I? A candid would be best, but whatever fine with you is cool. So just heads up.”

“It’s fine. No NSFW though, I get to veto it. And I get the name of this person you’re repaying.”

“Deal.”

They shook on it. Otabek was a reasonable person, someone who preferred to see the world in their black and white glory. As long as told clearly, he’s quite easy to ask for cooperation.

“Wait, what is NSFW for you again? Above bellybutton and below knee…?”

“Just make sure I’m fully clothed.”

“Gotcha. By the way, what about you? I expected you to take selfies too, with the other Yuri. Then again, you’re not really into selfies huh… go take some and update your Insta, man. Immortalize the important things and all that.”

“I think the candids you took are enough for my memory.”

He said just after Phichit took a picture, and he decided not to correct the Kazakh on the term. It’s not candid when the subjects are aware. Phichit couldn’t help smiling though.

“Hmm, you never knew.”

Memories flashed in Phichit’s mind. Of young Mila being coached by subtitute-coach Victor Nikiforov. Of how Phichit didn’t feel like asking him for a selfie.

Or of how Yuuri didn’t feel like taking a selfie with him on last year Final in Sochi.

The proof of their meetings, personal connection that started on that time, would never be.

Not enough, never enough.

“Did you remember Yuuri?”

“Of course.”

Victor had answered, seemingly confused that Phichit even had to ask.

“He had the best footwork in the Final. Yurio looked up to him since then. I thought a photo of three of us would be nice, but Yuuri just left.”

It’s an unfortunate event.

Yuuri’s despair and Victor’s unfortunate choice of words were to blame. Phichit thought at first that Victor didn’t recognize Yuuri, but he thought again and couldn’t quite agree with that notion. It’s so ridiculous, borderline insane idea.

Yuuri was unforgettable.

Because he walked away, and even if he hadn’t, he would be unforgettable.

Still, Phichit wondered.

If it’d change things.

Probably not.

They’d still end up together, Phichit figured.

Still, the lost chances, save points if game lingo was to be used, were lost to their imaginations.


	35. Best Friends

As per tradition, just before competition, Phichit video called Chris. That time, Leo was also with them, at one point so was Kat, and for the first time Yuuri was on the other side of the screen.

“So, did you talk to Victor?”

“No, but I did talk to Mila. Nice girl.”

“I still can’t believe he didn’t ask him for selfie.”

“I still can’t believe that either.”

Chris just smiled knowingly.

That’s the most important part of their few calls, to be honest.

Leo won gold, as expected, exclaimed Chris and Yuuri, and Phichit agreed. He’s sure to end his Junior season in high note. Chris had little doubt that it’d be a Grand Slam. Leo seemed so happy to hear that. His next assignment in China would certainly end well too.

There’s magic in a senior’s acknowledgement. That’s a fact.

Guang Hong probably would place too, in his home country.

Leo took off soon after, and again, homesickness hit like tons of bricks.

Phichit poured his everything on practice, wanting nothing more than to not be left behind again. Specially not by Yuuri.

God, specially not by Yuuri.

He danced to ‘ _Terra Incognita’_ as best as he could in his free time, ignoring the aching pain in his feet and his numerous falls. Feeling his heart ached whenever he’s forced to replace the quads into doubles. Feeling closer and yet further, letting the frustration and happiness grew inside him, fueling him.

Idols were people beyond reach.

Friends belong with you.

That’s what Phichit believed.

Yuuri was his friend. His best friend. By that time, it could already be said that they’ve been together for years. Phichit knew Yuuri as much as Yuuri knew him, even the dirty little secrets between them.

Knew his moves.

His dance and jumps.

They’ve studied under Celestino for the same amount of time, and yet, why was it that only Yuuri get to go international? Was it because he’s unlike the others, had never competed in Junior circuit? Was it that?

The unfairness of it was frustrating.

Phichit figured he wouldn’t mind that much being defeated by Victor Nikiforov, even if he wanted to beat him in the gut. That guy was god on ice, idol to many. It’s expected for almost anyone to lose to him. But Yuuri was his friend. Yuuri was supposed to stand at the same level as him.

No, he’s supposed to stand on the same level as Yuuri.

It’s been years.

Soon, it’d be too late. Soon, Yuuri would be forever beyond his reach.

Perhaps, his conversation with Yuuri months before, when Yuuri moaned about the low chance of ever defeating Victor Nikiforov while he’s still active as competitive skater was what gave that idea to Phichit.

Just like Yuuri who yearned for Victor Nikiforov, Phichit too yearned to skate on the same ice with his friends, specially his best, Yuuri Katsuki.

No need to defeat, perhaps. Yuuri was still his senior despite everything. Defeating a senior was not something that could easily be done, perhaps. To be smarter than one’s tutors was near impossible anyway. Phichit wasn’t that smart, and he, maybe, not that skillful in skating, not like Leo or Yuuri or even Chris, but at least he wanted to stand just one step below Yuuri after skating together in the same ice.

It’s normal and expected, wasn’t it?

After everything. After years.

His heart ached with longing, lungs burning as he struggled to breathe. Muscles and bones aching more and more as he practiced.

“Let’s surprise Yuuri.”

Somehow, the thought came to Phichit.

Maybe it’s because Yuuri had made a routine, so he thought that if he wanted to be on the same level as Yuuri, the least he could do was to make a routine himself. One up Yuuri for when they return to Detroit later after Grand Prix.

Kat gave him a thumb up.

“Thai food for five weeks?”

“Even I’ll get bored with that.”

He laughed together with the musician, her hand slung over his shoulder, before starting to discuss on the feel he wanted his song to have as they walked together to ‘Golden Palace’. Maybe not another Free Skate. He’d wanted it to be a pair to Yuuri’s ‘ _Terra Incognita’_. Yeah, that sounded like a good idea.

Phichit remembered the songs Yuuri hummed the most, the song Phichit liked the most in ‘ _King and Skater_ ’ series. He remembered Yuuri mockingly bowing and calling him ‘your highness’ after their first major fight.

It felt right.

With a smile, Phichit thought, finally. He’d been waiting for this.

The drive.

‘ _Shall We Skate’_ , Yuuri?

* * *

* * *

 

Victor Nikiforov was a social person.

Slowly but surely, mask formed to existence and covering his true feelings from the world, but the fact that he was kind and social never changed. Phichit started to think that soon after he meet him again in person in China.

In Barcelona, when Victor’s mask had mostly crumbled down revealing his still childish heart, thanks to Yuuri, Phichit wondered if he’d thought wrong.

If he’s too caught up with his own frustration and anger to see the real situation.

In Sochi, did they meet?

Before banquet, did they?

Surely they did, didn’t they?

Chris was with them. Surely he pushed them together, regardless of Yuuri’s desire to run away like a maiden in love.

At that time, what happened?

Before that fateful event, what happened?

“They met.”

Chris said, hazel eyes fogged up by melancholy and faint fondness by his two friends. Stupid friends, but still his friends nevertheless.

Maybe three.

Phichit was sure that he counted in Chris’s list of troublesome yet lovable friends.

“I practically pulled Yuuri to see Victor. Heh, in Beijing I joked to Yuuri that it’s sinful for him to get Victor off the ice before I could defeat him, but seriously? Victor seemed so happy now.”

He said with his usual kind and honest smile.

Phichit made a mental note to buy him a bottle of a fine wine after Final was over. The Swiss man deserved it so much. After all the shits his terrible friends caused, he’s left alone to salvage just about everyone’s mental health. He’s bound to heaven where all beautiful angels bow down before him, seriously.

“Of course, to say that anything happened was a major overstatement. They met, but that’s it. Victor had no interest in Yuuri then, and Yuuri was even more anxious than usual.”

Yeah.

That’s probably it, wasn’t it?

Not much could happen when two depressed introverts meet, when both were too afraid to reach out.

“I thought they’ve passed the stage of not speaking clearly to each other. I thought they can understand without words now.”

He let out a sigh.

Phichit was sure that he was close to tears even though his smile was so wide, from how it’s clear how he gritted his teeth and how hard his eyes were.

“What the hell… Troublesome couple, those two are.”

If only there’s no practice tomorrow, Phichit would pull Chris to the nearest bar and treat him to some beer because he seriously seemed like he needs it.

After they parted with Yuuri and Victor, Phichit and Chris traded stories about what their respective best friend said. Or didn’t say, in the case with Yuuri.

It’s all started by a stupid meatbun, as it turns out.

So, long story short, a meatbun dedicated for Vicchan almost sent Makkachin to afterlife, and it kicked started a very stressful qualifying round that was Rostelecom Cup in which those lovebirds still high from love had to be separated from each other in what seemed to be important and delicate timing for both.

Phichit felt like crying from the absurdity of it.

He also made a mental note to stop anyone wanting to name their children or pets ‘Victor’ or the variation of it, every single ‘Victor’ that he knew only caused chronic pain in his heart, seriously.

Anyway, as it turns out, time apart gave them chance to rethink where they wanted to go from there on.

Surprisingly, both thought it’s best to end what they had.         

“Idiots. Both of them.”

Victor felt guilty leaving Yuuri alone and somehow he thought if it’d be better if he quit as Yuuri’s coach after Grand Prix. Because clearly he’s incompetent. Clearly he couldn’t keep his priority straight.

He was about to tell him, first thing after they meet again in the airport, and he really would if only in what probably the first time ever (in like, couple months, but who’s counting, right?) Yuuri _didn’t_ actually took initiative and said what he wanted first with his adorable clear sparkling eyes and blushing face and who for the love of god could refuse him when he’s like that, it’s impossible.

Oh how happy Victor was after that.

Even though he’d messed up, even though he’d abandoned Yuuri in his time of need. Selfless Yuuri, who told him to go and never even asked to stay even though it’s his important time.

Yuuri still wanted him.

Still accepted him.

Even if he had to mourn for his career, and it’s not such a big loss. He’d had his fun. He’d stopped having fun for years. With Yuuri, it’s becoming even more fun anyway.

It’s okay.

Victor’s okay.

At that time he was more than okay.

And then tonight happened and he was not okay.

“… I’ll try to talk to Yuuri again about this. This…,” Phichit sighed when words failed him, but Chris nodded anyway.

“Thank you, _mon ami_.”

Yuuri was at fault in this. There’s no denying that.

Still.

“I’m Yuuri’s bestfriend, Chris. I’ll try, because I too don’t want Yuuri to retire just yet. I haven’t had my fun yet. But still, I’ll always be on his side.”

“I know.”

Chris’s smile was pained and yet kind, as always. Then Phichit remembered how miffed Chris had seemed in China, and he wondered if Chris had had the same thought then. As Victor’s bestfriend, he’d try to convince Victor to not retire, but in the end he’d always be Victor’s number one ally. No matter what, even if it's retirement, Chris would support Victor wholeheartedly if it's something that make him happy.

And he’d be the first beside Yuuri to call him ‘Coach’.

He _was_ the first, wasn’t he?

The question now though for Phichit would be... would Yuuri be happy in retirement?

Could he say that for certain without having his stubborn friend announce it first?

Like Chris.

“That’s all I ask for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I've been so busy lately... this came out shorter than usual too...  
> You couldn't fool me into thinking Victor DIDN'T want to quit after Grand Prix out of guilt before Yuuri said that he wanted Victor to coach him until he's retired.


	36. After Lost

Chris won silver, even though he wasn’t at his best. There’s no way the number one rival of Viktor Nikiforov would use anything less than triples. Yuuri got fifth place in his debut Grand Prix event and honestly it’s not _that_ bad in Phichit’s opinion.

Even so, _hopeless_ was the word Yuuri would use, Phichit figured.

“Make sure he eats.”

He asked Chris and Ciao Ciao as soon as he found out, both telling him that he need not to worry.

Chris’s smile was teasing, like he silently asked Phichit if he’d taken up the role of Yuuri’s second mother.

Phichit wondered why he thought so instead of ‘ _little brother_ ’ because with how much time they spent together, they’re pretty much closer at that moment that Yuuri was with Mari-nee. He knew. Yuuko had laughed as she said that over Skype just few weeks before.

“Is it bad? Fifth?”         

Kat asked over lunch. Miranda shrugged.

“Depends on who you ask. Honestly? Almost every athlete I know would say ‘ _yes’_ though.”

Phichit chewed his salad carefully as he pondered it over.

(Not yet. He still hadn’t become a true athlete, Phichit would realize later. He only become one on Skate America two years later.)

Leo won Cup of China, and apparently became friends with one of the Junior skaters. A Chinese by the name of Ji Guang Hong. He came to Phichit in America and felt encouraged after days of stalking Leo’s social network pages, as Phichit pointed out to him.

Phichit wondered if he’d inadvertently became the advisor to Leo de la Iglesia fanclub president.

Speaking of which, because Phichit was a fanclub president himself, Yuuri went straight to Japan after Skate Canada. NHK Cup wouldn’t be until few weeks from then, but Ciao-Ciao thought it’d be good to spend more time in his home turf. Maybe it’ll help with his mentality, he said.

It wouldn’t.

It didn’t.

Mila Babicheva, who happened to be in Japan for round two of her qualifying GP competition said so herself. Yuuri Katsuki, as impressive as he was in skill, seemed like a soulless robot or expressionless doll while skating.

She took videos and sent it to Phichit, and even Phichit winced from the sight of it. Mila’s description was spot on, and it’s wrong. Yuuri was someone who shone the brightest when he’s showing off his emotions, his stories. Holding himself back from showing them ruined everything, even his technical aspects.

Even though he’s one of the most graceful skaters Phichit ever had the fortune of knowing.

> **milababi97** so what’s his deal?
> 
> **phichit+chu** he got 5th in Canada
> 
> **milababi97** ouch

Yeah, _ouch_.

Honestly there’s nothing else to be said about it. Fourth maybe would still be possible, but fifth was an overstretch. Yuuri could be said to have kissed the Final spot goodbye already. Though, fifth in his debut GP series ever against more experienced skater wasn’t _THAT_ bad in Phichit’s opinion.

> **milababi97** he needs a boost of courage and ive seen him refusing drinking invites
> 
> **milababi97** no liquid courage for this one why
> 
> **phichit+chu** hes traumatized
> 
> **phichit+chu** also u r like 15
> 
> **phichit+chu** aren’t u too young for booze??
> 
> **milababi97** I’m Russian

She said it like it’s an explanation in itself, which might be. Phichit learnt that to the Russians, anything related to alcohol could be explained with their nationality. What’s with that, Phichit wasn’t sure he’d get it even after years. And so, he decided to shrug it off.

He hoped the young girl hadn’t been drinking though. Phichit had nothing against drinkers but imagining someone who could still be called a kid drinking alcohol like there’s no tomorrow even if they said they’re Russians felt very wrong and weird.

> **phichit+chu** brb bf on duty
> 
> **milababi97** I sense a story
> 
> **milababi97** o ok don’t forget to spill it man
> 
> **milababi97** I need the juice

Phichit checked the time. He’d mentally calculated the time the best for conversation with the Japanese. Honestly, he could theoretically wait until he get to Japan, but still Mila was right. Yuuri needed emergency rejuvenation treatment.

Minako would be there, Phichit figured and sometimes her good intentions do more harm than good.

 _“Moshi moshi~ Yuujin_ service _dayo!”_

_ “… Phichit-kun?” _

“Yes, it is I, Phichit Chulanont! Where are you now, Yuuri?”

_ “I’m at the ri- wait, why are you calling me at this time? Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” _

“How rude, Yuuri. I’m seventeen, not seven. I can handle some all-nighters.”

Yuuri breathed a laughter, making Phichit smile too.

“Hey, Yuuri? Do you believe If I said I have eyes and ears everywhere?”

_ “Honestly? Yes.” _

Phichit didn’t know whether to take it as an insult or compliment. He decided to let it slide.

“Well, said eyes and ears just told me that you’ve been skating horribly. So, here I am.”

_ “Here you are.” _

“Yep. Aren’t I the best?”

The laughter was louder that time, though Yuuri’s hitched breathing wasn’t missed.

It’s a start before Phichit could fly to Japan at least.

* * *

No offense to Ciao Ciao, but he didn’t know Yuuri well enough to say the right things whenever he’s on his low moments.

Two years later, he’d realize that few months wasn’t enough, Victor Nikiforov couldn’t be relied on just yet.

* * *

“Okay, so maybe it’s hopeless.”

It’s alright.

You did your best.

Ha.

Those are just pretty talk, useless in the situation. Yuuri knew it himself and need not to be reminded that his best wasn’t enough. Saying that he did his best would just be rubbing salt to the wound. They’re in it for the glory and no glory for the losers. Yuuri lost, and it was a fact.

Still, it was then, and they’re facing another competition entirely.

Different crowd.

Different rivals.

Different supporters and different cheers.

“No pressure then, right? You can forget about the Final, and just show everyone what you got. One less thing to worry about, honestly. Have some fun and all.”

Even though Yuuri’s chance to get to the Final was abysmal at best, he could still get glory there in the country he called home, to prove to everyone that it was a mistake that he didn’t get picked a winner in Canada.

Yuuri hummed his acknowledgement as he let Phichit did his make up. Touches of foundation and blush on, blue eyeliner framing beautiful chocolate eyes. Mack would have approved. Phichit made a mental note to take selfies with the Japanese competitor and send her some.

“… a ninja, an unexpected contender beating everyone. Sounds very much like your Free, isn’t it, Yuuri?”

Yuuri smiled against Phichit’s applier, the gloss dragged to his chin. Despite that, Phichit grinned mischievously, mirroring the one shown by the competitor.

“Victor isn’t competing, you know?”

“There’s Chris.”                                          

“True. I should murder him now. It’ll be very ninja-ish,” he deadpanned.

“Very ninja-ish. Go for it.”

 “I heard that, guys,” was Chris’s respond as he fixed his mascara.

They laughed together much to the obvious relief of their coaches.

* * *

* * *

Time healed, Phichit found it to be true. He didn’t know about Yuuri, he might need longer than usually needed for most people, but for Phichit a week was enough.

It took him until about a week after Four Continents to realize how much his anger and devotion to his bestfriend had clouded his mind, covering everything with thick veils so that the truth became hard to see. The nonsensical notions becoming less and less logical, until one day Phichit couldn’t help but to admit that it’s an impossibility.

There’s no way Victor Nikiforov wouldn’t recognize Yuuri Katsuki. Despite his shortcomings, he’s too kind and competitive for that.

There’s no way Chris wouldn’t introduce them, and force the ever flighty Yuuri to hang out with him and Victor.

There’s no way Chris, the ever kind and brotherly Chris, would say with such confidence that Yuuri was fine without basis.

The last time Chris saw Yuuri in Sochi would be during the Banquet. Since he was obviously not fine during Free, he must had acted differently during Banquet. The problem in that notion was Yuuri could be such a stepford smiler, and Chris was one of few people Phichit trusted to be able to see through it.

And so, Phichit decided that he needed to know.

In Sochi, what happened? In the Banquet, what happened?

From Mari-nee, Yuuko, Takeshi and the triplets, Phichit learnt that Vicchan died, and imagining Uri, Kuri, and Rio dying made Phichit shudder. He supposed he could imagine it being the cause of Yuuri’s underwhelming performance. Despite always claiming that he stress eats a lot, Yuuri was a starver. It’s no surprise that he failed his jumps. He’d lack the energy for it, and for the longer Free program, even for the infamous Yuuri Katsuki.

And that’s it.

Somehow, it’s like there’s conspiracy between everyone he asked. It’s like everyone had signed nondisclosure agreement or something on the Banquet. Chris wouldn’t say anything, claiming that he’d promised Yuuri he wouldn’t and honestly it’s baffling. Guang Hong said he didn’t attend the Banquet because of meeting with his sponsors. It’s even more saddening to admit that Phichit had no hold on many people, being relatively new in the international rosters and not yet knowing most skaters personally.

His last hope at that time was a young Russian girl and she wasn’t exactly helpful either.

> **milababi97** so like
> 
> **milababi97** it wasn’t that bad

It’s worse than bad. It’s heartbreaking. Phichit replied with that same wording to Mila.

> **milababi97** no seriously
> 
> **milababi97** our kitten is like smitten with him
> 
> **milababi97** and he’s not easily impressed

Phichit had no idea what a cat had to do with it, but he suspected it’s not literal cat that Mila was referring. Probably someone in her team.

Someone who also happened to be in Sochi… certainly not Georgi. Maybe a Junior. Guang Hong would know, Phichit mused. He made a note to ask the Chinese later.

> **milababi97** so really
> 
> **milababi97** not that bad
> 
> **milababi97** also, as fellow finalist I gotta say
> 
> **milababi97** hot damn those steps man

Yes, yes, fascinating.

Tell me something I didn’t know already.

Phichit thought that but didn’t write it down. The wonder of cellphone, the defense against sassing your precious informant is doubled. All hail Bell. May he could spend eternity and beyond in nirvana for his contribution to the world.

> **phichit+chu** ikr
> 
> **phichit+chu** yuuri is the best
> 
> **milababi97** ya

Patience patience.

In their cage, Uri, Kuri, and Rio were nibbling sunflower seeds and Phichit tried to focus on their cuteness. As he waited for Mila to post her reply, Phichit scrolled through the numerous sites, news, gossip, and social media alike, to gather more clues. The thing that appeared the most was about how most of the competitors from various groups and countries ended up banned from a certain bar due to the disruption and property damage.

Mila Babicheva spotted her then boyfriend hitting on Sara Crispino and almost bashed his head with a chair.

Michele Crispino followed her lead.

Chris, Victor, and Georgi thankfully managed to stop them. Ciao Bin’s sudden retirement was gossiped to be due to that, that he was spotted trying to help as well and got caught in the crossfire.

> **milababi97** he looked so down tho @free
> 
> **milababi97** like someone died or smth

Nasty.

Note to self, never mention about the after party. Which for some reason they decided to hold in a gay bar. Also about Mila’s admittedly hilarious experience in said bar. It’s a landmine no one needed to step on.

> **phichit+chu** his dog
> 
> **milababi97** ah
> 
> **milababi97** ya that explains it
> 
> **milababi97** vic got his lowest score when hes missin makka too

A twitch.

Phichit could feel Mack standing up from her swivel chair in her office screaming out some medical lingo. In fact he could faintly hear her lecture about stress and the damage it could cause to the skin and how she had every right to stop sponsoring Phichit.

Phichit took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, reminding himself that damage to his skin and wallet would be the least to his worries.

Frustration, anger and bias could hide the truth like thick fog in that Persona game. He couldn't let his irritation towards this possible source of his bestfriend's low moment hide the truth for long.

> **milababi97** holy hell man they’re like
> 
> **milababi97** match made in heaven

If Phichit was in one room with the girl, he might had kissed her.

Finally a light at the end of the deep tunnel. So something did happen between Victor and Yuuri. Something big which could make Mila said that they're a match despite Yuuri claiming that Victor was mean to him. Not his word, but it's implied. Victor is mean. He's a horrible-

> **phichit+chu** _match_???
> 
> **phichit+chu** somethin happened in the banquet didn't it
> 
> **milababi97** omg oops
> 
> **phichit+chu** details i wan the juice
> 
> **milababi97** uh sorry man
> 
> **milababi97** i'm under oath
> 
> **phichit+chu** what the fuc
> 
> **phichit+chu** what oath???

Sadly, as mentioned before, Mila wasn't exactly helpful either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you happen to know Mila's instagram handle do tell!


End file.
